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I think I am done with this marriage - again....

Redsonya's picture

So DH has a brother and sister who are both married and both families regularly hang out with BM. I get it - they have known her for a long time, but DH's brother let him know that she went to their house and completely went off about how horrible DH is. Brother wants to stay out of it and even though his wife is friends with me, doesn't sound like she put a stop to it. BM says all kinds of nasty crap on Facebook that his whole family can see and no one says a word. I text sister in law about the reduction in child support and how we are going to Cancun to celebrate and all hell breaks loose. The story is that her daughter saw the text and told my SD, but I don't believe that. Sister in law would have told me before I confronted her two weeks later. I guess my family is just different - we stand by each other. All of his relatives really like me, but it feels so awkward that they all live near BM and listen to her crap about me without saying anything.

DH isn't talking to his mom right now because she has totally taken advantage of him in the past - constantly getting him to everything for her and claim So she is now on BM's side too. This all just seems like too much crap for me to deal with. I'd rather just be with my daughter and take care of the two of us. Not have to get involved in all these f'ed up family dynamics, court, Skids nonsense, etc. I make most of the money in the house and own our house. DH has been drinking alot and I've already told him that anymore and I am history. DH is fixed so we can't have kids of our own - not that I want any with him at this point. It just seems like way to much for me and I want to go back to the simpler days. I told him today that I want him out, moved him into SD's bedroom, told him he has two weeks to find somewhere to live, and am going to pull my life back together. I have learned my lesson - I will NEVER get involved with someone who doesn't have good boundaries with his ex and hasn't already gotten all of this nonsense resolved.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

{{{{Hugs}}}} I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm with you, family should stick up for one another. I don't get how DH's brother lets SM badmouth DH...If somebody did that to my sister, I would rip them a new one. None of them have backbones. To me, that's not a real friend. I hope you get some peace back with your daughter.

Redsonya's picture

I totally agree with you Calgontake me away. I can't even imagine staying quiet and letting that go on in my house. I have 6 brothers and sisters and all of them stick up for me and me for them. It's just tooooooo much - there has to be someone less complicated out there. On the other hand, DH and I just talked and we feel like we should just disconnect. Have fun with the nice family members, don't worry what is being said by BM, MIL is a MAJOR pain in the ass so maybe I should just be grateful I don't have to deal with her. DH and I live an hour away so we can isolate and just move on with our lives.

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

That sounds like a great plan if you love each other. Don't let crappy, ignorant people break up your marriage. I guess we let them in as much as we choose to. Sometimes it's just so hard to ignore though!

unbelieveable's picture

my FMIL is also bff's with birdface. Wonderful. So likes to uh...pretend shit isn;t happening...and he won't say a word to FMIL that she is crossing boundaries until we get out of her house. birdface also likes to think that SO's two brother's are her bff's/ they can't stand her but for some reason they kiss her ass and never say anything. disgusting. I told them they will only have one sister in law...they can choose which one. and if they choose wrong...I guess they won't be welcome in my house. birdface does not need to be involved with my family...or DH and I.

Auteur's picture

I'm sorry you are going through this. In my case, GG's relatives have either actively or PASSIVELY taken the Behemoth's side. Which is thoroughly disgusting. And I too, make the most money and own the house. GG gets absolutely sodomized by CS; I had a chat with a mutual friend of GG and myself. He confirmed to me that "GG basically screwed himself financially in the prime of his life" and that we will "never get ahead because he AGREED to overpay the Behemoth willingly." He's stopped asking me if we were married (we're not and I don't ever intend to). He also confirmed that it wouldn't be in my best financial interests to marry a man so burdened down by a viscious PASinator BM, her family, and most of his family. And of course the financial aspects.

When I told he and his wife that GG thinks that I'M getting the good end of the deal by being with him, they were simply STUNNED!!

And btw I'd say it's not even safe to get with ANY guy who has a previously enjoyed family. I'm finding that 99% of these men simply will not make boundaries for their ex and children. I'd say NEVER AGAIN A MAN WITH KIDS!!!

liks's picture

I told my DH recently that he is going to be left by himself if he didnt start disciplining them children of his...as Im not here to be insulted, glared at, rudely spoken about, disrespected etc etc etc...

I also told him that he needs to take the initiative with his eldest son by getting him into counselling...otherwise I will not be in this house if he is here too....as the child is trying to kill me....(nearly 17 yearold)

I was very annoyed when I heard my DH's sisters kids still call the ex bitch Aunty *name* and I was certainly not that impressed when I heard my sister in law had met the bitch to drop my skids off to her....

I would appreciate it if my inlaws had nothing to do with her, nor should their kids....Im the new wife and it should only be me they deal with??

Dont yah think?