Do They Get Worse Over Time??
FYI - I have no kids of my own and on the fence about evening wanting one, and these feelings are motivated by the amount of work my BF's kids are...
OK, BF has a 4 year old daughter....with an attitude the size of this PLANET.
When I tell her to do something she will just look at me and not do it....ON PURPOSE...or smirk and wait for her daddy to tell her.
We tried to wash her hair and she screamed like a banshee, she doesn't like her hair being washed (shampoo stings her eyes).
She will tell her father off and give him all kinds of lip and attitude, he just sends her to her room (she doesn't care).
Her great-grand mother told her to pick up the toys she left around and her response was, 'NO! I'm the boss!'
At a recent wedding I told her to stay around us cause she kept running away, she yells at me, 'I'm staying with my daddy!!!'
BF's uncle watcher during one of her crying fits and said, 'She's gonna get worse.' And it hit me, will she get worse if BF continues this lack of discipline?
I spoke to him about this and he iterated that she is going to school in two weeks and the teachers would have a handle on her behaviour....and she would improve and learn she cannot talk to people that way. It gave me some sort of peace of mind, but still I am worried.
Like, where would you see this going when she is 14....schooled and her dads maintains the same level of discipline?
This is her at 4, 14 will be
This is her at 4, 14 will be worse if no parent is getting her under control.
So yes, it will get worse if Mom and Dad don't intervene.
Your kid will not be like this. Don't let a skid ruin what could be a wonderful bio kid of your own.
At 4 she is like this. Hell
At 4 she is like this. Hell yeah it will get worse. She needs a smack on the butt when she does this stuff so she learns. I am not abdicating violence, but I do believe sometimes a tap on the butt is what they understand at this age...Time outs don't always work. I do not think you need to do it, I believe discipline should be handled by the Bio's. Not the steps.
Girls are so much fun when they are teenagers. I would give anything for the toddler years.
Yes, its going to get worse.
Yes, its going to get worse.
"he iterated that she is going to school in two weeks and the teachers would have a handle on her behaviour..."
Don't you think its sad that your H is putting his parenting responsibility off on the teachers? You will called to the school every day and eventually you will be told to take her to mental health and drop her off.
I became involved with my
I became involved with my husband when his bio kids were Sons 4,5 and daughter 6.Your Skid sounds exactly like my SD. She had no limits, consequences and her behavior was horrible. When she was 3 BM was asked to not bring her back pre-school because of her behavior.
Fast forward to 6 years later...SD is now 12 turning 13 in Oct. She has run away from our home numerous times, beaten her younger brothers up, bullies them and adults too. Disrespects teachers, has placed 6 nails under my tires (had to replace 5 tires)thrown away remote control car keys,hides things around the house others need to use, sworn at everyone in the house, broken the window in her room, called the police on us, cracked the top of my pop up trailor in three places, will make loud and obnoxious noises around the house, will do NOTHING anyone tells her, etc.
This past June, she was kicked out of our home because of her not following the rules of the house and disrespect of people and property. We did have a custody evaluation done and it was found that BM was alienating SD from us. BM now has her daughter. I think part of her bad behavior is BM's alienation and BM/BF lack of parenting.
It isn't the teacher's job to discipline the child for good behavior that they should have been learning all along. This is a time for SD to now be educated. It's also not fair to the other children and parents who are attending school to learn and need the teachers help in doing that.
BF needs to step up to the plate and parent!!
In my opinion the answer is
In my opinion the answer is obviously simple - yes it will get worse, a lot worse. And, as a teacher, I am offended that he would put his parenting responsibility off on to someone else's shoulders. The truth is that a teacher's behavioral standards are for the classroom and that they rarely carry over in to the home as children can figure out who will allow them to get away with things and who won't.
Sorry...probably not the answer you wanted to hear. Good luck.
Thankyou for your comment, i
Thankyou for your comment, i think i know what i have to do, it will be very upsetting for me but i am a strong woman, that is why this is so hard for me to accept, i have raised two fine young men alone for many years working hard to see them both through university, i live with my fella but still have my own home,
i dread Tuesdays, visit days, that cant be right can it, i have kept my mouth shut for months but not any more, he says he is going to put her straight tomorrow but has been saying this for ages, he only said this after i said i was going to leave him, i feel if he does say something to her he will resent me so i am in a lose lose position, i would rather be on my own again and have peace in my life.
I'll tell you!! Right with my
I'll tell you!! Right with my SD14!! I have been w/ her since she was 2.........the smirks and the snide comments don't only get worse! they get over the top!! She has her BD wrapped around her finger and SHE TREATS him like a piece of shi***. He will be talking and she'll just go......."ya okay - whatever - goodbye"
it is amazing what DH swore he would never put up w/ but he does! the funny part is.........she doesn't dare talk to me like that!! EVER!! Even if it is in fake whinny high pitched voice; I don't care! LOL I am not trying to scare you at all!! I am trying to tell you to at least make her respect YOU
"I spoke to him about this
"I spoke to him about this and he iterated that she is going to school in two weeks and the teachers would have a handle on her behaviour....and she would improve and learn she cannot talk to people that way. It gave me some sort of peace of mind, but still I am worried."
Wait, so discipline isn't up to him? Its up to the future teachers of this child? He needs a parenting class.
You have to realize this man does not know what he's doing, right? You are in for a shitstorm come the teen years. Good luck. I wouldn't wait around for it.