BM Sez: SD11 WILL be going to her soccer game on your weekend

So we're pretty darn reasonable. SD11 plays soccer and DH takes her to her games on his weekend and sits and watches. But we're planning on being out of town on the 18th for my nieces birthday. SD11 has a game on Saturday and Sunday so we just figured she would miss the Saturday game. DH informes BM of this and she says 'NO! SD WILL be at her game.' There is nothing at all in the CO about activities falling on the other parent's weekend. I think DH needs to put his foot down and say that we have plans. It's just 1 damn game (and they suck anyway... they have lost every game for 2 seasons.. like 10-1 each game)

I may be taking BS3 to my brother's that weekend by myself it seems.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's blog
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She can't tell you what you

She can't tell you what you can and cannot do on your DH's weekend.

New here....I am curious

New here....I am curious about this very same issue. My fiance's ex-wife signed his two boys up for track, baseball, football, and in-line hockey for two different teams. Stbdh took ex to court to change custody to 50/50 and instead got his hand slapped and was told by the court that he must take the children to their activities when he has them Wednesdays and EOW.

My Stbdh was not taking them to their activities on his days if they misbehaved or had poor grades. He was told by the court that he would be held in contempt if he did this again.

I like this! Maybe sign them

I like this! Maybe sign them up for ballet, basket weaving, mucking out stalls at a local stable, and boys choir (do they still make castratos, these days?).

We were typing the same type

We were typing the same type of post at the same time. I totally agree on the commitment.

My Gson plays soccer. We have had games with no backups bc some of the kids were doing 2 or 3 activities at a time, so kids were playing the full hour. This isn't fair to the other parents or kids.

I know when my 2 bios were

I know when my 2 bios were little, I would only do 1 sport each at a time and I was married to their Dad. Kids also need their down time/family time or just hanging out time.

Courts can not force visitation. If my ex would sign up the kids for that much stuff at once, I would honestly forego my visitation on those days and let BM do all the running around. Maybe this will help BM see that she is putting them in too much activities and she may back off a little bit on so much stuff.

Our BM will not attend or help with any sports stuff. Period. When we sign the SD up for something, only softball for 3 months, its already known to us that she won't help. She can bitch all she wants about not getting to see the SD (DSO is custoday, BM gets every weekend) for a few weeks at a time, but its her choice to not participate in her DDs life.

SD starts high school band next year. Its a lot of time and work. BM has the choice to help or not.

She thinks she can dictate

She thinks she can dictate what yall do on his parenting time and she will continue to do so until he makes her see otherwise

My step kids played in

My step kids played in different leagues for years bc BM wouldn't let them play where we are which is where they go to school. So they went to practice with their friends here but missed all weekend games. They missed all practices except maybe 1 a week for the team where BM is and went to saturday games. Then when it came they had a game for BMs team when with us she threw hissy fits if DH wouldn't take them. He told her if they didn't have a game or practice with their team here he would take them. She still runs everything .. Gag

Some activities I can

Some activities I can understand, (soccer in my town would be one of them, soccer is not a big calling and most kids do it till they find there nitch)
My ex tells me sometimes: "we are going to be out of town so that doesn't work out"
BUT!
If ExH said it for DD's DANCE over a competition weekend, OH NO YOU DON'T!(he never would)
She has a commitment to her team, she could get kicked off the team, there is other girls with stomach flu who were up vomiting all night BUT they still made it to the competition.
We have made WAY too many sacrifices for her to be at competitions, and they will fine you if you ditch, you let down the whole team and the dance will look stupid when one girl is missing, there is lifts and stunts that can't be done and the girls bust their butts for 9 months to prepare for dance season.

I agree with the occasional ditching of soccer, there is enough team members to cover

Unfortunately, signing them

Unfortunately, signing them up costs mucho dinero. My stbdh spent almost $1000 on hockey for one boy last year.

^^^Another reason we don't

^^^Another reason we don't miss ^^^
Dance during the season is about 3,000.00, and that's during the season...added cost to keep up skills with lessons off season

Nah... them sucking just

Nah... them sucking just keeps me from wanting to go. DH goes and I don't. It's only cute to see a losing team when it's your own kid.

The most important thing is

The most important thing is you can't give up your life and family for the skids. I did it for a few years and you will resent your stbdh and SD. If your DSO stays home, that's on him, but you need to still do the things that will give you peace and happiness in your heart. Don't hate him for it, go enjoy yourself and family and tell him all the fun you had.

My DSO loves my family. He gets pissy to think he will miss a get together but its my family so I won't!