I have been with my husband for alomst 18 years. We have four children all together. His daughter is almost 30 now she was 12 when we got together. I want to talk about our past before I ask for advice. When my husband moved in with his daughter I had a 1yr old and a 5yr old. Righ from the start his daughter hated my 5yr old (also a girl). She would go into her bedroom and break things, take her things. It became a real problem. Then when his daughter was 14 she went back to live with her mother (he choice). Then we started having problems with her mother and her multiple husbands. When my stepdaughter came to visit at 15 she tried to cut me with a butcher knife. Her dad told her that if she didnt want to be part of the family she could stay with her mother. She stopped calling for a year. Then we recieved a letter stating that her mother had given her permission to marry and that she was married. My husband was livid. She and her 16yr old husband came out to visit. By that time I had, had a baby. He was 6 months, when her husband tried to play with her new brother she told him that he would have is own soon and to not touch my baby. That is how we found out she was pregnant. After my grandaughter was born they moved away, she told me it was because she didnt want to raise her baby around me. When she was 17 she called her dad and told him she was pregnant again. We went to see the baby born and then moved closer to her to help out now that she had two babies. I had my grandson every day, all day. He was the sweetest little boy. When he was nine months she decided that I could no longer see him. A month later he died from Sids. He was in the hospital for 26 hours as they tried to find out what had happened. She allowed her parents to see him and her mothers NEW husband, but wouldnt allow me in.
We moved away because my husband said it was to painful. Two years later her mother passed. We went right out to be with her. She stayed in the state she was living in for about two months after her mother passed. Then she called and said she was very lonley. She couldnt come right away as she was having another baby. As soon as my new grandson was born they moved in with us. It seemed that everything was going okay. Then she got sick, she went to the doctor and he told her she had to have her gallbladder removed. Ever since then she has been telling people that she is dying. She has had one month to live (she says) ever since 2006. Over the summer of 2010 she took her brother (my son) to a concert and was mean to him the hole time. I was upset about it and called to talk to her I lost my temper and hung up on her. She called her father and told him if he wanted to be involved in "that family" she didnt want to talk to him. But later on in the summer there was another concert her and her boyfriend wanted to go to, so she wanted us to watch the kids. Her youngest brother has just had surgery and could only eat Jello. So at 5 and 12 I thought that the grandkids would understand that they could have other things but not Jello. This made my stepdaughter irate, she called and told me I was the meanest person, evil even. Because her kids couldnt have Jello. She said that she only sent them over here because of the concert and that they wouldnt be allowed back because I was evil and spoke nagitavly about her mother infront of her children. I would never do that to them. So now it has been a year since she has spoken to any of us. Here is where Im asking for advice. She has been coming around and I dont want to talk to her. She hurts me, I feel abused by her. So I dont want to talk with her and I dont want her at my house. My husband agreed that he would go to her house. So do you all think I am over reacting to her? Thanks