This is going to get long. I'll keep it as short as possible. My husband is a severe alcoholic. He hid this before marriage, I never lived with him before marriage. He hid it for months after we were married, I thought the man had a severe health problem that made him sleep for hours! I kept begging him to see a doc! He was hiding drinking ALL the time!!! I found out about it. All this time I thought he was physically ill. He has a daughter from a previous marriage, she is 7. I have four children. 3 from a previous marriage and we have one together who's 16 months old. My children's ages are 11, 8, 4, and 16 months. A huge handful. My nerves are shot all the time, but I do the best I can.

Anyway, my husband has always thought his daughter is like a God. He talked about the memories of this child every second of the day. He put down my pregnancy with our son and talked about his exes pregnancy. He ignored our son while in the birthing room and wouldn't hold him after birth. He sat in my hospital room while I was holding our son and talked about how wonderful his daughter's birth was. It's all he talked about was his daughter. It was like he hated OUR son for being born.

Anyway, my husband is still a severe alcoholic. He passes out from drinking too much everyday. He passes out at least TWICE a day for HOURS. He gets mouthy and violent sometimes. He isn't safe for children to be around alone. He is ALWAYS shit faced drunk. He's been to rehab many times, he has NO want to stop drinking.

I had to put a stop to his 7 year old daughter visiting our home. It sounds horrible of me, but EVERYTIME she came over my husband would pass out, leave me to deal with FIVE children and then wake up violent because his daughter wasn't getting treated like a queen. The last time his daughter was at our home was on Easter Sunday. My husband passed out for four hours, he woke up violent because he thought his daughter wasn't getting to play with certain toys that belonged to my older daughter. He began storming at me, breaking everything in the house! I had to LEAVE with all FIVE children (including his kid) and go to my father's house. We spent Easter doing nothing but running to safety at my dads home because of my drunk husband. It happens EVERYTIME this kid comes over!! I now REFUSE to be a babysitter for him and his ex!!! His child lives with her maternal grandmother, dh can not get custody because of his addiction problem. I have told the maternal grandmother that when the child comes over, things get violent, she doesn't care!!! She wants to send her anyway!!!

My husband then gets VERY angry at me for not allowing his daughter to visit!! He doesn't do anything but get drunk and pass out when she is here, then wake up being violent. Honestly, I can't take this anymore. I feel like the horrible guilty one. I just can't and will not take care of another child while my husband lays drunk!! I will not do it!! The child's family has been so shitty to me. They use to bring this child to our door step and my husband would stagger to the door DRUNK and barely walking, they'd say "here's your daughter, you're keeping her" He would then pass out and I'd take care of the kid for days while he would lay drunk. I finally put my foot down and when they'd come to the door, I'd tell them to get the hell away from my door because I am not babysitting for them, I would tell them my husband was drunk and not capable of taking care of the child and for them to get the hell off my doorstep (this is my home, bought before husband and I were married) They'd argue with ME and say "well you're keeping her dammit" I'd slam the door and not answer.

I have four kids of my own. I pay all the bills, husband currently does nothing, but lay drunk. I am not going to allow visits with his daughter to occur in my home while he neglects her and I have to be the babysitter. I can't take on the world, I can't let him and his daughter and his exes family kill me!!!! I am only one person and HAVE to take care of my kids as they have NOBODY but me. If I lose it or get mentally sick then my kids will go to foster care, they have no family (their father is a dead beat)

Should I feel guilty for stopping the visits? I can't allow his child to be neglected on visits. He passes out and honestly I don't want to deal with her. She is doesn't listen to me. I can't even stand to be around her. I feel guilty like it's all my fault! EVERYONE blames it on me. They tell me to suck it up and keep his child. It puts wear on my mental well being (I have had one nervous breakdown at 19 years old and take meds for severe anxiety) Like I said, if I get mentally sick again, my own kids will have to be put into foster care as they have nobody but me.

Help? Should I feel guilty?
Laina