Why does SS best interest come before our DS?
Our DS1 has been suffering from hives (my DH is also allergic to everything). The dr said we could give him benadryl but it didn't help. Then Dr then called in Zyrtec for DS1. Im more of a natural, homeopathic kinda person and simply asked DH if we could weigh the pros and cons to this medicine, side effects and all before giving it to DS. He automatically said hte pros outweigh the cons and gave DS the medicine. Either way, I looked it up myself and feel comfortable letting him be on it for the next 10 days. Anyway, he tells me today he is OUTRAGED that BM is giving SS a new medicine without even checking the side effects. Is he serious? He didn't care enough to check with DS1 but medicine SS4 is on should be investigated? I always feel like he goes above and beyond for SS and DS gets the back burner. This incident (yesterday DS started zyrtec and today SS got new medicine) proves to me that he just doesn't care what I think or what is necessarily best for DS but Lord forbid SS gets a medicine- lets all run and check it out! Wouldn't want any negative side effects for him! Grrr this evening is going down hill fast!!
It his behavior more about
It his behavior more about being critical of bm than it is about favoring ss? I know that in the past my dh has been very critical of bm even when she doesnt deserve it. He would look for things to criticize about her. Maybe you saying you needed to check on side effects was something he agreed on but just didnt verbalize and now he thinks bm should do the same things YOU do-its almost like a backhanded compliment
I think part of it sometimes
I think part of it sometimes is a backwards compliment to you, they know you will take the best possiable care of your child, usually for some reason or another they don't have that same faith in there other childs bm. So its not that he cares less about your child, its that he worries more because of his trust issues with his ex about your step. Your child has you, whom cares and makes sure of things, your stepchild does not, see it as a sign of faith in you and your parenting. No its not fair that you have to step up because of his worry for his other child, but you are good mom and everyone knows you can handle it.
i would guess bc he knows the
i would guess bc he knows the doctor and trusts for your ds, prolly doest for the ss and doesnt trust the bm either
Thanks ladies...I guess I
Thanks ladies...I guess I didn't look at it as a "back handed compliment". I just wish he would acknowledge and appreciate the care I put into DS. The first time DS spelled his name with magnets, he didn't believe me bc SS4 still can't do it...He's always comparing DS to SS. I put alot of time, energy, love and care into DS. I know DH doesn't trust BM but I don't think its fair like...he wants to go to all of SS drs appts bc he doesn't trust BM BUT I had to beg and plead to get him to come to my ultrasound, he never came to a prenatal appt, only went to one check up of DS. I get that he doesn't trust her but why does SHE get to experience happy "family" experiences with my DH but I don't? Ugggh this just goes back to being bitter about this whole blended family nonsense I suppose.
Trust me I understand the
Trust me I understand the bitterness, I hate anytime my husband compares our child to my ss7......I mean hate it........these are my experiences with my child I don't give a damn about ss7, can't it just be about our child for a little while. So I get it, I think our husbands trust us so much that they take us for granted and I wish I could tell you I knew the cure to that but obviously I don't, I just try to look in a positive light when I can and cling to those times.