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So frusturated with 2 sd's who constanly cause chaos in our home....ahhhhhh!!!!

madmama2010's picture

I have been married with my husbanhd for all most 3 years and the whole time we have had the same issue, HIS daughters. He refuses to make them take any kind of responsibility or to make them maintain the responsibility that they do have handed to them. Everything that they do end up contributing to in our home, you would think that God himself has done, because it is oh so freaking great to my Husband and to his 2 girls (ages 14 and 15). Even if my husband does stick with me on a punishment or idea it is eventually undermined by him either through manipulation of them or him just trying to be mister nice guy. The 2 girls go behind my back all of the time to ask him for permission to do things, or they don't even bother to ask either one of us. They come to our house every other friday and do not leave until the following friday. They are constantly stealing my things and using stuff without permission even when they have their own. It is like they do not respect me or think that I have any rights in my own home, I simpily can not stand it anymore. My/our 5 children on the other hand are completely respectful to my husband (and he makes sure that they are) aoll though they are all 6 years and under, it is like my Husband notices everything that the little children do wrong and not a damn thing that his spoiled brats do wrong. His girls play on him and I as if we were chess pieces and it is driving me nuts. My huband and I are seriously on the verge of seperation over these girls. We are actually having to go to a marriage counseler to see if we can mend our relationship. I know the little brats will have a field day with that little tidbit of info when they get wind of it!!

windee's picture

That really sucks that you marrage is in jeapordy b/c of his kids. I am sorry to hear that! The whole skid not having to take responsibility thing is really irritating too! I know! Why can't they see it?

frustratedstepdad's picture

Wow I really feel your pain. I have four stepdaughters who are adults. This will ONLY get worse if your husband doesn't put his foot down. Imagine what it will be like when they start driving and partying. My adult stepkids are the same way your teenage SD's are, except its only worse when they are older. One thing that will help is to be COMPLETELY honest during your counseling sessions. You can make sure you aren't saying things in a hurtful way, but be completely honest. I know it's frustrating because everybody else can see what's going on EXCEPT the biological parent.

wicked's picture

It sounds to me like he's trying to make up for a lot of guilt feelings with them. I hope the counseling helps.

Shannon61's picture

DH has to put his foot down now, or it's only going to get worse as they get older. He's not doing them any favors and his enabling is not only going to come back and bite him in the behind, but may destroy your marriage as well. If he doesn't realize that anything that causes you a problem is also HIS problem, he's in trouble. You have to get through to him before it's too late. Don't allow them to destroy your marriage. Perhaps counseling can help DH see the error of his ways.

My SD (27) still lives with us. I've had to ream my DH more times than I can imagine because he: did everything for her (including chores), never held her accountable for her actions, would turn the other cheek instead of chastice her. One night she left ground beef on the table in an attempt to thaw it, and I had to correct her because DH didn't have the balls to do it. He's too concerned about hurting her feelings, and I've reminded him that he could be saving her life.

SD couldn't understand why I didn't want her living with us. Geez, how many of you want adult Steps living with you in a new marriage? Causing conflict at every turn . . seriously. It just goes to show you how selfish and dillusional she was. DH is another case of guilty daddy syndrome, but now he's seeing the errors of his ways. A parent's job is to teach, not be a servant.