I need help :(
I am 22 years old, live with my boy and his two children, and I'm pregnant. I don't know If its because I'm pregnant or what, but I'm getting to the point where I can't stand my boyfriends kids! They live live with him full time and the mother isn't around, I am trying my hardest to feel love for these kids, but the more I'm with them the more I wanna run away. Not to mention my bf works nights so he's sleeping during the day and I'm trying to play mommy to these kids who won't listen to me. I have had multiple talks with my bf about their behavior with me and he's talked to them, I think its just overwhelming because iv never had to deal with this before. I love my bf and I'm scared its going to drive me away, not only that but I'm afraid one his kids are going to be an awful influence on my new child and I'm scared I'm going to be a bad mom because I can't handle his two kids! I need help I need advice I can't handle this pressure anymore I might expload!
http://www.stepfamilysanctuar
http://www.stepfamilysanctuary.com/2008/08/disengaging-essay.html
You are going through a rough time. Pregnant or not, this would be getting to you. I hope you will find a place where you can focus on YOUR child and less on his children.
Unfortunately, it sounds like he got the good end of the deal sleeping days and having someone to babysit. In order for your stress levels to be low during your pregnancy, he needs to figure out how to care for his children while working nights.
He does have the good end of
He does have the good end of the deal your right, I guess its my own fault I can leave n go do my own thing, but then I feel bad that they are bothering him while he's trying to rest and then I feel bad that they are bored n can't do anything cuz they are stuck sittin around while he tries to rest and watch them. I'm just sick of playing mom and I hate to say it but I wish his ex would take them at least on the weekend we have no time to ourselves and I'm ready to crack!
Ohh thats rought. Being a
Ohh thats rought. Being a step parent is one of the hardest jobs. I am also in my twenties and for a person in their twenties to take the responsibility for something like that is huge and sometimes very difficult to understand. You must love your bf a lot..I dont know your full situation but you need to decide on whats best for you. I know being pregnant makes things even worse because of the hormones. When I was pregnant it made me dislike SD even more. At least you dont have to deal with a psycho bio mom like me that tried to ruin us, tried to get in our way of getting married, turn hubby's mom against us and sooo much more! I wanted to cry so many times but this is what I chose so I would blame myself. I think our love for eachother is stronger than anything and personally I wouldnt leave my husband because of a kid or a crazy jealous ex.
Good luck!
I do love him a lot and won't
I do love him a lot and won't leave him because of his kids (I don't think) I'm just scared I'll break at some point. I'm sure its hard with the crazy ex in the picture my bfs ex still calls every now and then to talk to the kids annd that bothers me cuz she can't even have the decency to actually come and see them, but I think I would much rather have her be a good mom and take care of her children at least once and a while yano so we can have some free time...with him working night I probably get 3 hours before he goes to work and after they go to bed to actually be alone with him ugghh. And I have a feeling that when my little one comes along and I'm paying more attention to that, they are going to be even worse and I don't think I'm prepared for that
It depends on the kids. My SD
It depends on the kids. My SD is 7 and she really helps me with the baby and shes understanding too..
Like you said on my post
Like you said on my post 'we're in the same boat and looking for answers'. I too feel your anxieties about being a bad parent to your future child and also not wanting the others to influence them in any way. I've tried to keep them away but I just get grief from my partner and her parents saying they have the right to be involved and not to exclude them.
It's a toughy. Good luck (to us both haha)
Haha ya good luck is exactly
Haha ya good luck is exactly what I need! I guess the only people who understand what were going through is people who are actually dealing with a loved ones kids! I wish I could just love them as if they were my own...I don't understand how my step dad did it I love him like he's my real dad n he loves me! Wish it was that easy. I do worry about them sometimes but I'm mostly trying to run away from them lol
That is really nice that you
That is really nice that you had such a great relationship with your stepdad.
I struggle with it too. I just don't feel good things for SD. I do like my SS. He has a good personality. He isn't a teenager yet though either.
I try to be firm with them
I try to be firm with them and they'll listen sometimes, I think its just more of them expecting uuhh idk me to be there mom yano what I mean and it way too overwhelming I like the fact they see me as a mother towards them, but they expect way too much from me and sometimes I find myself yelling at them for no reason. They are only 5 and 6 and they obviously can't fend for themselves...I'm justt getting so stressed out with them always coming to me they don't even goto their dad anymore like when they are hungry or one is allllwaayyyss wetting herself. I feel like I'm a mother before I already am one and I fell into it I didn't get to grow with them and love them as they grew it was all just thrown in my face....I guess its my own fault for putting myself in this situation, but I thought I could handle it bc I love kids, guess iv never had to live with someone elses and I was wrong