OT - When skid issues bleed into EVERYTHING else...
I'll get right to it: My libido has never been lower. I think it has everything to do with my apprehension about how DH parents and my worry about how he would be to a child that we would have together. No bueno... And then I feel like there are instances where he wants to control me or situations that concern him and I and I feel like screaming, "You can't even control yourself or your offspring. How dare you attempt to control me?!" Mature, I know... But it's what I feel.
Then his refusal to listen or follow my lead on some things rears it's ugly head when it comes to intimacy. For instance: I've said to him on numerous occasions that touching my Ms. Kitty when she's dry and/or your hand/fingers are dry is a no-no. I asked him if he thought a dry, chafed handjob sounded appealing. No? SAME DAMN THING! Then last night he again tries to rub on me with a dry hand. I stopped him in his tracks and AGAIN explained that shit hurts. He said, "It couldn't have hurt that bad... I barely touched you."
YOU. ASSHOLE.
I closed up shop, explained to him why and went to sleep.
The root of the issue is that he won't LISTEN. I really think he feels like he knows best and that I just talk out of my ass or let my emotions, PMS, hormones, etc... rule my communication. It's infuriating and condescending.
Just wanted to "say" that out loud because it's been blaring in my head... 
men are stupid when it comes
men are stupid when it comes to sex. Ive had to explain basics to my df and i feel like a sex ed teacher. it takes the romance out when they dont know, wont listen, and wont try to improve. try using sandpaper on him...lol }:)
I've thought about it... It
I've thought about it... It would be a fine grit, of course... }:)
I did get him back a few weeks ago. (Look away now if you're easily offended.) We were doing it doggie style and when he least expected it, I clenched EVERYTHING as hard as I could. LMAO! He screamed out and I cracked up! A big thanks to the gym for my buns of steel! hehehe
Well, you hit THAT on out of
Well, you hit THAT on out of the park! Too damn true... His bad ass kids, irritating ass BM's and our poor communication skills have resulted in the demise of my sex drive.
You know it's really bad when you don't even want to pull out the toys!
When I was married to my ex
When I was married to my ex husband I very rarely wanted to make love with him, not because he was no good at it, he was, but because there was a constant low level of anger with him and the way he treated me.
I am now married for the second time and this is never a problem, despite the SKID issues, the man I am now with acknowledges my negative feelings about his children and doesn't try to change things - he accepts it's never going to be great, and that means a lot. He isn't the greatest technically at lovemaking but it doesn't matter. I think your title sentence says it all - SKID issues affect everything else, especially sex.
It does! I've noticed the
It does! I've noticed the wknds his D is with us our sex life deterioriates.
I've also noticed that if we start a conversation late at night about his kid or his ex I and him both lose all interest in getting in on.
In every way he's the best lover I've had, very attentive, and we've had a very active, fun and great sex life...BUT those two ingredients always throw a monkey wrench big time.
I hear ya. It's very hard to
I hear ya. It's very hard to get your body into the game when your mind is out of it.
"The root of the issue is
"The root of the issue is that he won't LISTEN. I really think he feels like he knows best and that I just talk out of my ass or let my emotions, PMS, hormones, etc... rule my communication. It's infuriating and condescending."
I think when it comes to sex, they DON'T listen. They are trying to get to a point of satisfication, and listening plays no concern in that. I have had that same problem with my DH about touching me when 'it's' dry. It does hurt, and it's a HUGE turnoff. Keep informing him of what you want and don't want.
And you would THINK that
And you would THINK that considering that they want it all the time they would listen to what the hell we say!
OMG, been there. I'm older
OMG, been there. I'm older and going through menopause and have no desire for sex but DH gets mad and throws a fit like a baby and screams and then threatens to cut off the money. I tried the tip jar thing on the night stand and that didn't work..............treat me like a hooker and I want to be paid.
He thinks sex means love and he's a groper. I can't pass him in the hall without being groped and after 11 years it's gotten very very old and so now I can't even pretend to be interested in sex with him because I'm groped out.
Ugh... I totally understand
Ugh... I totally understand about the groping. After a while it gets old.