Help firstime step dad
I am the stepfather, i have gained a SS9 and sd6, we are having tension on our my gf and I's relationship with the ss. He smarts back when asked to do something whether it be me or his mom. More so when its me. i try and deciplan him when needed but when i do he talkes back frustrating me, because i have my own bd who is 3 and does nothing of the sort. This happens on a regular basis , about three times a week.we have no problems on the other days in fact he treeats me like his best friend. After the confrentation his mom says i am the problem for trying to push to much on him. i am only asking him to do tasks that are a part of everyday life ie; put up shoes get dresses do homework clean up after self ect. am i trying to much to soon , i dont want to be percieved as the mean step dad or the drill sergant. but think at 9 he should be able to perform simple tasks such as these. i guess my question is am i being to demanding so soon should i step back should i move out . i dont want to loose my gf because we have such great connections with eaach other and enjoy each other so much. i have put off proposing to her because of this.
9 is not too old for timeout.
9 is not too old for timeout. Address this with your girlfriend. Make sure your biochild gets the SAME discipline you are giving the stepwhatevers. My steps get timeout - one minute for every year of their age - so he's 9 - give him 9 minutes in a corner - your BD is 3? give her 3 minutes...and so on-put them where there is no TV in site...and if he talks back - (or whatever child is in the chair) - add 3 minutes...make them sit until they get it!!!!! It's really important that ALLLLLL the kids involved here get the same discipline! maybe you and the gf should write a list of rules and everything you expect from all the kids - TOGETHER - this way she can't say she is treating your child unfairly and vice versa!!!
Just go to her and say, "hey babe - I think I have a plan for how we can work on this discipline thing..." that's a good way to start it.
well i diciplan my daughter
well i diciplan my daughter on a more firm basis than hers because she pulls the "they are getting use to my divorce" card, even though it was over a year ago. when i do try and diciplan him he says i am being mean and crys to his mom. my gf and i havent really sat down and had that kind of talk but i guess its time for it. i just dont want to loose her over this and i fear that it is almost innevitable. i dont get how when he and i spend time together its fine we are buds, but when it comes to me asking his to do things or deciplanning him i am the enemy. what are good suggesting to bring this up to her so i dont up set her on the requests i have with him.