After reading this post I had to ask myself if we actually might share a stepdaughter???? My SD32 and SS35 are the most entitled persons I've ever met!!! SD is the same as yours, 4 kids (until May when #5 gets here), $700 a month in food stamps, $850 a month for rent assistance, utility assistance, free lunches, etc. And a check from the IRS for about 7 grand every spring thanks to earned income!

And yet, poor girl, NEVER has a dime and runs to Daddy everytime there is a financial crisis. DH only gets a call from either of them when they want something!!! And I've noticed the same entitlement attitute developing in her kids too. On Christmas Day, her oldest told me next year he'd really like a laptop!!! He's 12!!!

I think you've reached an excellent realization...nothing you EVER do will be appreciated so don't expect a "thank you" EVER! I agree with StepAside, do the minimal you have to and save your money for people who might enjoy its benefits.

Sadly, I no myself how very hurtful it is to feel so used and abused when all we want, as SMs, is to embrace our DH kids out of love for him and the hope that you can have a good relationship with them because of it. But I've FINALLY accepted that some people just don't deserve my care and attention. It sounds like you've reached that point too.

This sucks! I feel for you and I hope I don't have to deal with issues such as these. Good luck Ma and your awesome for standing up for YOUR life!! Let her have hers the way she has chosen it to be!!

I do not understand these kids...I never ask my parents for money. When my husband died I went to the grandparents for help one time to help pay my son's tuition in private school. My mom gave me a check and the grandparents (husband's mom and dad) gave me a check. About 200.00 and I felt terrible asking. There was no life insurance and I didn't want to further traumatize my son by pulling him out of school. My Dad was the only one not to give me money. His answer was pull him out. I worked and made sure I never had to ask for help again. I did ultimately pull him out and move to a more affordable state and he is in public school now. But, that was an eye opener for me. I never wanted to have to ask my parents for help again.

Why does this generation seem to want to take the easy route....

I feel your pain. It seems to me this generation of "kids" have been raised to be ungrateful, needy, demanding, dependent and unable to grow up. I never have had my own children and never will and have been informed by my DH that this is what my problem is - but I would not have raised my own kids the way he and his former wife did. I remember when I turned 18 I was told to go get my own car insurance...what an eye opening experience and lesson that was! I partially blame parents who raised the children for this. I don't agree with a lot of financial things my DH does for my 2 adult SKs and have come to the conclusion things won't change and they will always be enabled by their BM and my DH.

If I don't ever hear you loud and clear. The sad thing is that we have done this to ourselves thinking that helping the kids out was actually helping but many of today's young adults have become nothing but mooches for their parents. Giving to them has left them with their hands still reaching out, wanting what we struggled for years to achieve but not wanting to work for it themselves. I had to put a stop to it with ours.

Yikes! I made my ss a scrapbook too! Ladies, we are all a bunch of idiots-trying so hard to please these kids who refuse to appreciate us-my ss is only 13 unlike your adult moochers-and yes, I have also learned that he will never ever appreciate me and all I have done for him. He does not have a ton of material stuff at his bm's-her philosophy is "I buy the kids the cheapest crap I can find because they will break it anyway"-but yet he still expects nice things from us. Took him to the beach last year for a week-we rented a home with a private pool, went out to eat at nice restaurants every night, made sure he had souvenir money and on the way home he had the balls to tell me and my kids that he didn't like any of us and didnt like being around us or talking to us. He demanded to be taken home that night(after my dh drove 14 hours)which would have been another 3 hours roundtrip because we wouldnt be doing anything else so he might as well just go home. If I do purchase him something or do something for him-he will actually turn to my dh and say, "thanks,dad". I'd rather he didnt say anything then i could at least pretend that he was grateful but just forgot to tell me.

If I purchase him clothes he refuses to wear them. He would rather wear rags then wear something I buy for him. If he thinks the same clothes are from dh-he wears them. Our family has been blended since he has been 1 and he treats me worse with every passing year.

I do know that he is getting nada from me when he is an adult-and I believe my dh will be of the same mind (I hope so!)I was married for the first time at 21-paid for college and graduate school on my own with student loans (all paid back now)My parents helped me pay my car payment my first year of marriage until I was 22 and have been self supporting since then. They do things for my kids-pick them up an outfit here or there, buy them nice gifts for bdays and xmas's (no ipods or laptops though), they are excellent grandparents but I just cant fathom the number of adults that still expect their mommy and daddy to pay for stuff for them and the number of mommy's and daddy's that actually do it. Your adult sd obviously makes extremely poor financial decisions-she could probably go to school on a grant and better herself and make an income-but why bother when you've got the govt and all the relative to pay for you to sit on your ass.