Am I being too petty?
I just wrote a post about how my SD is here visiting for spring break. This visit is not going well at all. I am SO ready for her to go home and I can have my home back....husband and all.
DH and I have been going through a rough patch in our marriage and having her around is not helping. I find her annoying and super clingy to both DH and my BD (her half-sister).
A few months ago I used my credit card rewards to grab some free movie passes to use sometime for DH and I to go to the movies. Today he calls me at work and asks if I know where the passes are. I tell him Im not sure off the top of my head....why is he asking? DH tells me that he wants to take SD to the movies and use the passes.
Would I be petty if I tell him no, I got those passes for us to use and if he wants to take SD to the movies then he has to use his own money? (We do not combine finances when it comes to spending money)
I dont want to cause conflict over something so simple as movie tickets but I dont like the idea at him using my tickets on her. Am I being too petty?
No, he didn't invite me.
No, he didn't invite me. There are only two passes and he wants to take her. I think it hurt my feelings that he would not want to use them with me for a nice night out since thats the very reason why I got them.
I feel like if I say that though it'll come off as me trying to "keep him" from taking her to the movies.
I'd be hurt too. Is it
I'd be hurt too. Is it petty? I have no idea, but I don't think your feelings are unjustified.
Just forget where they are,
Just forget where they are, and find them about a week after her spring break is over. I don't think it's petty, but you know he and SD will have a bad attitude about it.
Agree with this. And then go
Agree with this. And then go home and hide them where he can't find them-and when SD goes home, "find" them and take your BFF. Screw taking your DH.
That's a good idea!
That's a good idea!
This sounds like a little
This sounds like a little case I was going through a few months ago. Now my husband and I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. We very seldomly get a chance to go out together because we both work Full time (40+ hours) a week. The Saturdays are almost always spend cleaning our house, washing laundry, most of the time at home. We don't really have a baby sitter either. Well, my SD15 comes down to visit for the weekend, and my husband happily says 'I am going to take my daughter on a date.' WTF? :O I have been wanting to go to the movies and grab something to eat for at least a YEAR!!! She comes down and you are so happy you are going on a date with her, while I am home with our boys! Great. I must admit, I was totally pissed for a while. I mean, we never go anywhere!! OH, wait, we go to church every Sunday together. But still.
Anyway, I understand your frustrations. Let him go and let him pay himself. Maybe it will do you some good to have her out the house for at least 2 hours.
OK...had to deal with
OK...had to deal with something similiar recetnly....
You say this....Oh look I didnt want to say anything before but:
'i had been planning something special for us with them....I had been speaking with the cinema about a particular movie and Ive organsied premier seats....Im not telling you as It was a specail thing that Ive been planning for you for a long time"
well mine worked and I didnt have to go with the skids somewhere
hahaha
but I was planning something special...in the end I got so pissed off that I still havnt done it...
I don't care if they go...I
I don't care if they go...I just don't want him using the passes to take her. I guess now the real question is
A) do i tell him how i honestly feel about this and risk it causing a potential fight or;
take the suggestion of "forgetting" where they are
Which to choose?
I'd say, forget where they
I'd say, forget where they are and let them go. I'd look at it as being free from her for a while. She will only be there for a little while longer - be extremely happy it's not more frequent - or the skid actually LIVE with you!!!
That's a great idea, however,
That's a great idea, however, on Sundays, he has to take SD15 back to her home. That takes at least 3 hours - full trip. By that time, it's almost time to get the boys ready for bed. I really need to try and take some time for myself. I think I am getting overwhelmed.
But I have decided that I am going to take a day off work, tell no one, go shopping, and go to the movies, by MYSELF. He calls me all during the day, so he will know if I am not at work or not, but oh well. I will enjoy myself.
PETTY? my ass.... that
PETTY? my ass.... that little ***** ~ hate her for you..
agree, find the passes and hide them until she leaves!!! let him spend his own ****ing money on his baggage.. what did he expect you & bd to do while they were going to the movies?? DISRESPECTFUL on both parties is all i have to say! that's obviously not all i have to say, but.... well you know
DH is a stay at home dad
DH is a stay at home dad while I work during the day so my guess is that he would be taking BD (who is only an infant) and SD to the movies while I am at work. Or that he will ask my mom to watch BD during that time (which is what happens when he has errands to run).
I actually don't even care to be invited as I'm sure I wouldn't want to see whatever Disney show they go to. I'm just a bit peeved at the idea of him wanting to use something that I got for US on her.
I think I'll use a combo of the advice given here. I'll hide the tickets and tell him that I don't know where they are but that if he does in fact find them, I want to save them for a nice night for the two of us as originally planned.
yeah being upfront is
yeah being upfront is propably the best but if there are other more important issues lying around between you that possibly need more discussion then its hard...
I also think your DH was being a normal man by not thinking you would rather use the tickets for you both....he being male propably thinks you would much prefer the egotistic male to use them with his daughter cos she has just called him and he asked her what she wanted to do on spring break and she said movies and he all of a sudden remembered the movie tickets...then you called???
I totally dont think its
I totally dont think its petty.. I cant plan anything w.o having SS brought up.. that oh he would have loved to have been here.. CRAP! or I'll mention doing something then the minute SS is here and I am work whatever it was that was my idea gets done w SS w.o me!
Why is it being petty? He's
Why is it being petty? He's being inconsiderate. He knows finances are split, and what the passes are for.. let him cough up the cash to blow on SD.
I absolutely hate it when DH does this to me.. he canceled his 7 day vacation from work last June (which was supposed to be for our honeymoon/anniversary)... to take 20 days off in July to spend with SD.. needless to say he's been on my shitlist ever since.. good thing I don't have to deal with the little brat anymore!
I talked to DH last night
I talked to DH last night about the tickets and I did a hybrid approach to what was suggested here.
I told that I didn't know exactly where the tickets were but that if I did find them, I would want to use them on a nice night for US like they were originally intended.
He then tells me "well i just thought I could take SD since we've had the tickets for months and havent used them."
I replied "Well maybe that's part of the problem. Instead of thinking of using them on someone else, it would have been nice for you to think about planning to go with ME sometime in the future."
To that he said "you're right"
So maybe DH and I will be going to the movies in the near future. Its been over a year since the last time !
Thanks to everyone for their advice
He won't know how you feel
He won't know how you feel unless you tell him. Tell him, NO those are for us to use together. If you want to take your kid to a movie, pay for it out of your wallet.