dreaded visitation weekends
so I finally told my today husband that, I was feeling guilty that I dont love his kids like I do the one we share together and my bio son. Thank you to this site I understand that it's completly normal for a step parent to not love the step children like thier own biokids. so I asked him if he noticed that on the weekends he has his children, does he notice that I am never home or always running errands, I take my two sons out for the day and spend time with them, because I just can't stand to be around them. They remind me too much of the ex wife, who is a fake christian,lying, greedy, manipulative heffa,,, and that is putting it lightly.
so we get into an argument basically because I told him that when he has his kids I will find something to do, he feels I should do the "family" thing with everyone, BUT I dont want to feel like I have "5" kids, I like dealing with just the 2 I have. Less choas and more calm for me.
I just dont think we are going to agree on this subject, I feel the visitation is for him to spend quality time with his children. he feels that he cant do anything without me and would rather have his kids there just watching TV, instead of taking them out to do things.
Now My bio son age 9 spends every Sunday with his bio dad, and they go play miniature golf, movies, baseball, go to sports games, etc. so my son is not lacking the fun moments with his father. but my husband's kids are.
he told me I dont have the right to tell him what to do with his kids and it should all be family time. i.e. I have to be there with him and his children... NOT!
when I am with them I am unhappy, stressed, always breaking up a fight with our sons, dealing with the lying kids of his, ugh it drives me nuts. they dont take showers when they come over, they mess up my son's room AFTER i have my son clean it. it's too much for me so I would rather have a peaceful weekend with my kids
You are not their mother and
You are not their mother and they are not your responsibility. Why do these men think just because we are women that we need to take the mother role. I just don't get it.
Good for you setting boundaries and taking time to be with your kids. He needs to take care of his when they come to visit. This is his visitation time not "our" visitation time.
exactly
exactly
delteted double post
delteted double post
I hear you! My DH tried to
I hear you! My DH tried to pull that too! Sorry, but I am not a babysitter and that is your child. If you have things to do on your weekend, you need to make arrangements.
"he told me I dont have the
"he told me I dont have the right to tell him what to do with his kids and it should all be family time. i.e. I have to be there with him and his children... NOT!"
"Not" is right, as in " Not Natural." Tell him that he should stick around with your child and invite your ex-husband over too, while we are at it to be "one huge familia."
Double standards...
wow you guys have some great
wow you guys have some great replies, that is how I feel about it and I dont feel bad or guilty when I leave them. oart of the problem is I been in two other relationships with men that had children from previous marriages.
Both worked full time jobs, One was a cop the other a truck driver, both would pick up thier sons and then not spend time with them, I would be spending time with them until I said umm what the hell is the point of you getting your child if you are not going to be around?? so I nipped it in the bud ,, now my husband thinks I gotta play the mother hen role with his kids,, I think NOT.
last weekend I took my son out to get sneakers, so it was me and my mother and my 2 sons, my husband called me and said he just picked up his son and rushed home and I wasnt there. he said now he doesnt know what to do so he is just going to sit on the couch while his son was in my son's room watching TV.
I mean seriously??
I purposely didnt get home til late like 9pm when it was ready for my kids to go to sleep.
so your a sucker too, yepper
so your a sucker too, yepper same here, my ex has to give his ex wife 2,560 a month for 3 kids, so yeah she bleeds him dry. the oldest just turned 18 THANK GOD, but the bi&%$ still wants 2,100 a month for the two kids. anyway but when they come over we have to go grocery shopping, etc etc,, geesh
I feel the same way...I am
I feel the same way...I am soooooo stressed out all the time...the little time that I have that FSD is not around I feel so much more peaceful, but the stress of her being around is starting to override the good I feel when she is not around because I know my peace is only short lived.