I'm new here and it is so nice to find somewhere to talk with other people who understand what I'm going through. A little background....

I am married with 2 SS's, 11 and 12. I also have a biological daughter with my husband who is 2. We have full custody of my SS's. When my daughter was 3 months old we gained full custody of the boys. So basically I went from having 0 kids to having 3 in a matter of 3 months.

Their BM is basically a dead beat mother. We are headed to court in a few weeks regarding child support because she refuses to help financially with anything. The woman works at Wal mart and won't even help with their school supplies!! Anyway, whole other subject I guess.

My husband and I hardly ever argue but when we do it's always about the kids. I feel like he favors the boys over our daughter and he feels like I favor her over them. I admit that I am hard on them, maybe harder than I should be. I just don't know what to do. For whatever reason I don't seem to have a good relationship with them. I love them very much but there is a wall there that won't seem to come down. I'm so tired of this being an issue with my husband and I. I don't know how to fix it.

My older SS has hit puberty which has made things even worse. Hormones are raging! I would love any advice or references of books, anything....

It feels really good to get this off my chest!