Issues With Who Can Pick Up SS
Ok, so BM moved 2 hours away from us on January 2nd. We agreed to meet her halfway to pick-up and drop-off SS. She doesn't work. My husband works 60 hours a week and can't just leave work if he is in the middle of something. Last night my husband got off work late so I went to pick up SS. BM pulls up, asks where DH is, tells me it's not my visitation & that I am just trying to steal her son because I can't have one of my own, then drives off with SS. So, I called DH and told him and he tried to call her but she wouldn't answer. I drove all the way back home (an hour drive). Then, DH and I get in the car and drive the full 2 hours to her new house. We get there at 9:00 and visitation was supposed to start at 6:00. She didn't give him a single problem when he went to the door. My question is, is she in contempt for not allowing me (his stepmother) to pick him up for DH's visitation? There is NOTHING in the CO stating who is to pick up and drop off SS.
Look into having DH sign a
Look into having DH sign a power of attorney. As his wife, it's implied that you can act as his agent. However it may be something to have that on paper.
You really need to speak with your attorney if you have one. If not, file contempt against her for interference. If neither of you have an attorney, the judge will clear up the matter of whether or not stepmom can pick up the stepchild.
Thanks. they have a mediation
Thanks. they have a mediation hearing in 3 weeks. DH is taking her back to court because she has denied visitaion even with him picking up SS several times and she refuses to include DH in school and sports.
DH's lawyer didn't feel the
DH's lawyer didn't feel the need to try to stop the move since the court date was already set and it was just 3 weeks after the move.
Gah...I don't see how you can
Gah...I don't see how you can live so close to BM. We lived in the same subdivision for about 6 months and BM would just show up at or house yelling and screaming for no reason. We bought a house and moved 45 minutes away. We were still close enough so that it didn't affect visitaion but far enough so that it wasn't convenient for her to just drive by.
Blender- Hopefully before she
Blender- Hopefully before she speeds off the kids are away from her car?
Too funny! We have tried to
Too funny! We have tried to get BM to stay in her car when she comes to pick up SS but she insists on coming to the door every time.
as long as she's not hostile,
as long as she's not hostile, why not let her come to the door?
She is hostile. She has
She is hostile. She has yelled and cursed us both in front of the kids and our neighbors.
actually no, there is nothing
actually no, there is nothing making her let you have ss in place of dh, HOWEVER, next time take divorce decree and marriage license and get the police involved if you really want to press the issue since you are married, the law probably wont stop you if you have you have some kind of proof and she is not incontempt for not allowing you to get ss, she would be if she denied dh to get the child but not you.
i as a bm myself will not allow my daughter's smom have any kind of contact like that, i will not allow her to pick my daughter up from school, day care, or if she came alone i would do the same thing (we don't have a good history)i don't allow her to take or attend dr's appointments, when my daughter was in er one night, i let her come give lovies, then she had to leave (got the authority of the doctor to make her leave).
i am probably that b of a bm, but i can't stand my dd's smom we've clashed since day 1 and i feel like there's a fine line of stepparenting that she crosses all the time
^^^This.
^^^This.
I have this problem with my
I have this problem with my sk's BM, I have done everything in my power to try and get along with her and she refuses to let me pick kids up, drop off at school even though kids go to same school as BS. she makes our life and kids life hell because of this...I can't believe anyone else would behave like this....
I am sure you make her life hell also and how unfair it is to kids. I treat my sk's awesome and fair and she has no reason to not let me pick up kids other than its how she controls things...
I say get the hell over it....Your not married to MY husband any more and I am not trying to steal your kids...just be kind and fair to them...I have my own.......
Will you share a few examples
Will you share a few examples as I am quite curious?
are you asking me?
are you asking me?
My husband's ex-wife tried to
My husband's ex-wife tried to pull that nonsense when we were non-custodial. Our attorney immediately filed allegations of custodial interference and contempt.
Her attorney told her that she would lose big time in court over that.
We were working on a modification anyway, and had language added to the agreement stating that "any responsible adult" could pick up or drop off the kids. And "responsible" is defined by my DH. She fought it...and she lost. The judge told her to "grow up and act like a mother". It was marvelous!
We have custody of the kids now. And we would never in a million years not allow her fiance (or anyone else she sent) to take the kids. That kind of stuff is just silly.
Thank you! My DH just spoke
Thank you! My DH just spoke to his attorney and she IS in contempt of court for not allowing me to pick up SS because it's not written in the divorce decree that DH has to pick him up. We too are working on a modification and hope ours turns out like yours did.
DAMNED STRAIGHT SHE WAS IN
DAMNED STRAIGHT SHE WAS IN CONTEMPT!!!!!!!!!!! But, few bottom 10%er family law judges would find her in contempt. Most would only lecture her then say "she has surrendered the child for visitation and is no longer in contempt".
Unless specifically stipulated in the CO the BioParents can arrange transportation by anyone and by any method. I know this because we attempted to not allow the GreatSpermGrandParents to transport the child for visitation with the SpermIdiot. Our stance was that it is BioDad's visitation, BioDad can pick the kid up and BioDad can spend all of the visitation time with the kid.
The judge ripped us a new one and modified the CO to specifically say "the petitioner and respondent will each be responsible for transportation of the child from the child's location to their location. The respondent will transport the child at the begining of visitation and the petitioner will transport the child at the end of visitation. This may include any acceptable transportation including transportation by the grandparents.".
If your DH wants to give Attila the Hun or Chester the Molester permission to pick up his kid for visitation and BM refuses then BM is in contempt. When he was too young to fly as an unaccompanied minor the SpermClan would have random people fly to pick up my SS and take him back to SpermLand for visitation. SpermGrandMa's friend who had a daughter in Austin would fly in to pick up SS. Toothless, drooling, 90yo GreatSpermGrandPa would do it and the SpermIdiot's Sister's Husband's mother would do it. Never once did the SpermIdiot ever pick up the kid nor did SpermGrandMa or SpermGrandPa. We were often concerned about people we did not know traveling with our kid to SpermLand but there was nothing we could do about it.
If I was your DH I would immediately petition the court to add a phrase similar to the one I referenced above from our CO only referencing StepParent instead of GrandParents. As much as we hated that addition to our CO, it would do good things in your situation.
This makes me feel better. I
This makes me feel better. I am constantly accused of trying to "steal her son" when all I am doing is helping my DH during his visitation as any wife would do. It just gets old. Hopefully our judge will do the same as yours when we go to court at the end of this month.