I agree, your SD should be doing many things at this age. My BD is 4 and she gets herself dressed in the morning, gets her own shoes and coat on, can grab her own breakfast if it's portable (granola bar, cereal bar), clears her own plate and cup and utensils after dinner, changes into her pajamas at night, puts her dirty laundry in the hamper, brushes her own teeth (with help), flushes the toilet when she uses it, and washes her own hands (with occasional reminders). About the only things I still do for her is brush her hair (it's long and curly) and bathe her (I don't trust her to get it right and not tangle her hair up). She is not so good about cleaning up her own toys, so that is a work in progress, but otherwise I am pleased with her independence. You are NOT going overboard, in my opinion.

Oh I know how you feel! Except my DH's kids are older! Up until recently he still gave them baths. I'm like wtf?! They can take a shower on their own! So they do now but he still brushes their hair for them (did it with MY brush a couple of weeks ago and I caught him doing it and I ripped him a new asshole for it. How was I to know they didn't get lice from school for god sakes!) He was getting up in the morning and getting their cereal for them until I said something. Getting them dressed. Making their beds. Putting their dishes in the dishwasher. It's ridiculous! I was cleaning the entire house by the time I was their age! Their mother doesn't have them do anything either I don't think so the one simple task that I ask of them never properly gets done... Clean up the damn table after you eat! It isn't that hard. They act like rinsing their plate off before putting it in the dishwasher is the hardest thing in the world. Their hands are all tangled up while they are doing it. Atleast they do it now though... But then I ask for the table to be wiped off and all crumbs gone and I guess that is rocket science. I don't think you are being too hard. I think 5 is a good age for a child to be doing certain things on their own. Because if they don't then they get older and fumble all over themselves like my DH's kids! And I'm pregnant too. And my DH has made the same comment... You just wait when our child is born you will feel differently. Oh no I won't. I will teach my child to do the same things. That's what you do as a parent.

That's not good. She will rule him forever!

Wow my BS is 1 in a half and atleast tries to put on his own clothes he can atleast put on his own coat and wipe his face when hes eating and gets dirty and this is at age 1 by 5 he should have mastered all this and its because i reinforce this on him. No you are not be hard on her shes just being childish and no shes not a baby anymore she understands what yes and no are so keep on forcing rules on her.

Oh yes!
Same here....my ss10 has to have someone do everything for him....especially when daddy is here and since my husband feels bad for not seeing him often he just does it....my ss will say i'm thuuurrrsty or i'm huuuungry which means get me something.....then when he is finished he will say ok i'm done and hold out his plate or cup for my dh to come wait on him.....very annoying! I know this kid can do it on their own and during my pregnancy my dh would tell me the same thing....just wait til you have one of your own....i'm like yeah just wait....mine won't be a freaking little whiny brat! lol! I just finally am starting to get tough with my ss and let him knwo that he isn't boss.....we'll see how he does this weekend...which i am so dreading!!!! Horrible I know!

I can understand your frustrations. My BF's kids BD(6) and BS(3) have similar issues. I wouldn't trust them to scrape their own plates let alone carry them anywhere. They can't even manage to make it through one meal without spilling whatever they're drinking all over the table. They don't clean up after themselves. Putting their dirty clothes in the hamper is still a work in progress. They can get themselves dressed in the mornings though.

They do brush their own teeth but can't manage to flush the toilet. It's nasty. After the two of them have tag teamed their toilet serveral times, one of them might remember to flush and seeing as how they have to use half a roll of toilet paper everytime, well I'm sure you see where this is going. We've actaully had to put locks on the pantry and refridgerator doors to keep the 3 year old out or else he just helps himself.

On the other hand, I still help my BD(6) take her baths. I want to make sure she is clean and didn't just play in the bath tub and her hair is almost to the small of her lower back. She can't even brush it. Though that is something that I am working on.

It can be very frustrating dealing with these things. My BF always tells me the my BD is an abnormality when it comes to kids. No she's not. I have taken the time to teach her these things.

Oh yeah and my DH's kids won't put their pj's on at night unless DH tells them too. And they will go all weekend without brushing their teeth. Because they have to be told their every move!They have never even been to the dentist. I have told DH to make them an appointment and he just won't do it. Although he works so much while BM lives off of him so her stupid ass should be taking them to the dentist. But she won't take them to get a hair cut either. I gave up on trying. If they don't care then why should I? Makes me sick. I just want them to clean up after themselves when in my house. They are way old enough to do so.

I agree these kids need to learn to pick up after themselves and learn a little responsibility like brushing teeth....which is one thing I hate when my ss comes up here because i have to constantly tell him to brush his yellow teeth! Also when he goes to the bathroom he will not completely wipe....so he walks around literally smelling like crap and when I talked to him about this and showed him his underwear he just said "I have a hard time wiping" so I have told him to just keep wiping until there isn't anything there....gross I know but I have to say it! I won't dare even wash his underwear here at my house....I just bag them up and send them back with him to his bm house....ugh....disgusting! I just expect at 10 years old that he would know this! I have even tried the flushable wipes....nothing works....i have told my dh about this but he doesn't ever say anything to my ss.