I need some advice
I am trying to do the best I can with my stepchid whom we have 50% custody. However, I find myself constantly at odds beause my husband seems to think that I am being too hard on her, when in reality, it is because I am greatly concerned over her mental and physical well being. *Background* We gained custody of my stepdaughter when she was 3 1/2, full-time, after her bio mother had allowed others in her household to phsically abuse her. About six months later the courts gave the Bio mother back half custody, (one week with her, one week with us). Since then, from my observation, my stepdaughter has been in a downward spiral, she is now 4 1/2, she lies compulsively, she hasn't slept more than 7 hours a day in weeks, she doesn't get anywhere near proper nutrition, and she is rapidly becoming more and more infantile(doing less things on her own, lowering her vocabulary). Whereas she used to get up and dress herself, put her seatbelt on, etc. she now refuses and says she can't do things that would normally be mundane to her. I am becoming very concerned, when it seems that my husband(bio father) is failing to notice that his child is being predisposed for all types of problems later in life. I have tried giving him advice on how to make things better and better parenting methods, and every time I do, he does the exact opposite, and then complains to me that she only eats junk, or won't sleep. What can I do to make him see, im not the evil stepmom, I am extremely concerned for her health and well being and fear that there may be serious reprocussions unless some proactive action is taken.
Mommycake do you think maybe
Mommycake do you think maybe she is being abused again at the moms house?
*Additional Info* Her case
*Additional Info*
Her case with CPS has been closed, and I do not believe that she is being abused again, I think that the issue with her biological mother's inability to make tactful parenting decisions, combined with the fact, that my husband also seems to make too many parenting decisions from his heart, I'm not saying that he is wrong in having a heart about her situation, but I believe strongly that by him allowing her to engage in negative behaviors because he thinks that she will hate him him he disciplines her, is causing a great damage to her even further than what she has gone through. When I bring it up to him, he says to me "This doesn't last forever," which he doesn't seem to understand that that is my exact point, that he only gets one chance to do the right things and teach her values and lessons, I am worried that if this pattern continues(with the lack of parental guidance) that there will be serious reprocussions in the future, some closer than others, and that she will be the one who suffers for this all.
*Additional Info* Her case
*Additional Info*
Her case with CPS has been closed, and I do not believe that she is being abused again, I think that the issue with her biological mother's inability to make tactful parenting decisions, combined with the fact, that my husband also seems to make too many parenting decisions from his heart, I'm not saying that he is wrong in having a heart about her situation, but I believe strongly that by him allowing her to engage in negative behaviors because he thinks that she will hate him him he disciplines her, is causing a great damage to her even further than what she has gone through. When I bring it up to him, he says to me "This doesn't last forever," which he doesn't seem to understand that that is my exact point, that he only gets one chance to do the right things and teach her values and lessons, I am worried that if this pattern continues(with the lack of parental guidance) that there will be serious reprocussions in the future, some closer than others, and that she will be the one who suffers for this all.
*Additional Info* Her case
*Additional Info*
Her case with CPS has been closed, and I do not believe that she is being abused again, I think that the issue with her biological mother's inability to make tactful parenting decisions, combined with the fact, that my husband also seems to make too many parenting decisions from his heart, I'm not saying that he is wrong in having a heart about her situation, but I believe strongly that by him allowing her to engage in negative behaviors because he thinks that she will hate him him he disciplines her, is causing a great damage to her even further than what she has gone through. When I bring it up to him, he says to me "This doesn't last forever," which he doesn't seem to understand that that is my exact point, that he only gets one chance to do the right things and teach her values and lessons, I am worried that if this pattern continues(with the lack of parental guidance) that there will be serious reprocussions in the future, some closer than others, and that she will be the one who suffers for this all.
*Additional Info* Her case
*Additional Info*
Her case with CPS has been closed, and I do not believe that she is being abused again, I think that the issue with her biological mother's inability to make tactful parenting decisions, combined with the fact, that my husband also seems to make too many parenting decisions from his heart, I'm not saying that he is wrong in having a heart about her situation, but I believe strongly that by him allowing her to engage in negative behaviors because he thinks that she will hate him him he disciplines her, is causing a great damage to her even further than what she has gone through. When I bring it up to him, he says to me "This doesn't last forever," which he doesn't seem to understand that that is my exact point, that he only gets one chance to do the right things and teach her values and lessons, I am worried that if this pattern continues(with the lack of parental guidance) that there will be serious reprocussions in the future, some closer than others, and that she will be the one who suffers for this all.