Tax time is coming and wondering if any of you have had a similar problem
In my DH agreement with BM, kids are 50/50 joint physical and legal custody. DH claims the eldest SD17 and BM got youngest SD14 for tax return purposes. Well in October 2009 both girls came to live with us full time. At the beginning of 2010 when we filed our 2009 tax return my DH said he was going to claim both the girls because they had lived with us more in 2009 and she flipped out. She said she needed the money to buy a new car because her car was falling apart and she needed a car to get to work. She also said she needed the money to get a place to live so she could get the girls half the time again. OK fine. So we let her take it, granted she did need a new car and we did want her to get a place so she could see her kids.
A month later she shows up in a 2005 Maxima! Okay, you were evicted from your apartment and you haven't had your kids in 5 months but you thought it was a good idea to buy a 14,000 car with a $300 car payment???!!!! On top of that she gets out with all new clothes and boots, almost showing off! WTF, you have the nerve to come over here when you haven't put a dime towards your kids in 5 years and then for the last few months don't even see them?! And do you think she took a pennie and got her kids somethings they might have needed or even asked us if maybe she could help with anything? Oh hell no. She bought SD14 a $20 pair of jeans and spent $20 at the nail salon for SD17. It took everything in me not to say something to her at that time. DH ended up giving her a piece of his mind earlier this year, but that's a whole other long story.
Its December now so the girls have been living with us full time for 13 months and she hasn't contributed anything financially and very, very little of anything else. She rarely sees her daughters. Once a month, even if that and usually for a short period of time. She has gone weeks without even speaking to them. Obviously she didn't need that money to move into a new place because she doesn't have her own place, still!!!
I told my DH last night that we are claiming both my SD on our taxes and if she argues that she is not going to be happy with what I have to say to her! So he better figure it out and handle it or it's going to be World War III and I'm going down swinging!
Anyone have this problem or something similar? Can't stand the fact that she thinks she's owed something when she doesn't take care of her kids! I do!!!!! I should get all the tax breaks, she doesn't do crap! I use it to make my taxes less, she want's to take her earned income credit!
Oh and I almost forgot!!!! 2 years ago when she was living with her mom and she and her jobless boyfriend got their earned income credit $, they went and bought a lap top, a 36in plasma and new cell phones! While we are paying for everything for the skids!!!! How do these people live with themselves!!!!!
If you have a court order it
If you have a court order it isn't a problem. According to the IRS website the custodial parent can claim the kids unless the NCP has a CO saying otherwise. If you don't have a CO get one like yesterday.
I hope the venting made you
I hope the venting made you feel better because you know that these type of people have no problem living with themselves, right? One of these types is my skids' BM. You and I may spend large chunks of our life wondering how in the hell these people can rationalize their behavior. But they really don't see anything wrong with it. I have been CP of my 2 skids for more than 5 years. In all that time BM has paid us exactly $0. How could you provide NOTHING to your children? Well, after some amateur psychoanalysis I will give you the answer: They can live with themselves because they don't care about anyone else as much as they care about themselves. Depending on your BMs particular flavor of brain cooties she could be a psychopath or a sociopath or, like the BM in my situation - a narcissist. I'm convinced that it takes some kind of mentally damaged person to ALWAYS put their own selfish needs above those of their children. Point? These people don't have to play by the same rules as those of us who believe in fairness and responsibility. SO STOP TRYING TO FIGURE THEM OUT! (Pardon the vehemence - I'm trying to make MYSELF hear these words.)
In other news - do not allow her to claim that child b/c 1. she has no legal right to, 2. she would be stealing that money from you and your DH who will actually use it on something the child or the household needs, 3. why would you help out this self-centered nut job anyway? Those earned income credits are worth some dough. If you want to give it away - give it to me. At least I'm nice. And 4. When we were in this same situation several years ago I forced DH to claim both the kids b/c I was afraid that this stupid woman would someday try to get CS even though we had the kids 99% of the time. And I was afraid she might be able to use her tax returns as proof that the child she claimed lived primarily with her. Good luck. And if you decide to send that EIC to me I'll be happy to message you my address.
File your taxes
File your taxes electronically as soon as you receive all of your W-2s, 1099's etc... The first one to file blocks the second to file from claiming the kids on your taxes at least until the IRS sorts out who really should claim the kids. Even an NCP can claim the kids if the CP will sign an IRS form 8332. The IRS considers the CP to be the one who can claim the kid regardless of what a CO says. But, the one who files first usually has an advantage since it usually is the responsibility of the other parent to prove that the one who filed first is not truly the CP.
Make sure you have notarized copies of your CO showing that DH has custody of both kids to provide to the IRS if they call you when BM tries to file. If no CO is in place dictating who the CP is, the first to file has the best chance of defending their tax return.
If your DH does not have a CO naming him as the CP, he needs to jump on getting one PRONTO!
I do not recommend claiming a kid that you do not have at least 50.1% of the time.
It can get ugly.
I would nail his cheap,
I would nail his cheap, ungrateful, deadbeat and characterless ass to the wall with a huge CS claim retroactive to the divorce or birth of your kids if I was you. He obviously is reasonably intelligent and savvy about his income and taxes.
Every time he so much as whined even a little bit I would nail with a amendment of CS and drag his whiney selfish ass to court.
Selfish bitch? :?
I think not.
More like Saint of an XW.
I hear you and admire you for
I hear you and admire you for your perspective on this.
You don't have to perpetrate PAS to nail him for CS though. You can smile and say nice things about him to the girls while giving the girls equity access to his income and making sure that they never hear that their dad did not care enough to support them financially.
The only person who has ever said a word to my SS about CS is the SpermClan. My wife and I have never commented on the pathetic pittance in CS that BioDad was ordered to pay.
SS has seen all of the court docs and formed his own opinion of the SpermIdiot but my wife and I have made it a point to never badmouth BioDad in front of the kid.
I meant it when I said that I admire you for your perspective on this. You are a special lady I think and your daughters are lucky to have you and I hope that they are "smart like their mom".
Their husbands are going to be lucky men to have such amazing, intelligent young women of character to build a life with.
All men should be so lucky as to have such equity partners in life.
We had this same problem (btw
We had this same problem (btw I'm an accountant). Custodial parent gets it without the signed form talked about above. My DH is the custodial parent and always has been. BM claimed the exemption in 2007 and so did we. She filed first, so we got a letter disallowing the exemption (we had already received our refund this was a year later). We answered the letter providing a copy of the court order and school records showing they lived with us. Took a while, but they finally ruled in our favor and took the exemptions away from her. Pain in the butt, so it's easier if you file first, but you'll get it if you deserve it. I'm still waiting for the letter for 2008 and 2009. The only problem is now she owes the IRS a bunch of money so we can't get her back child support taken out of her tax refund. Oh well.
bebegirl22 - the parent that
bebegirl22 - the parent that the child spends the most number of days with is who gets to claim them - so even if BM tries to claim one of them you claim both and it will ring a bell at the IRS and they will investigate and since both skids live with you full time then you will get the refund not the BM and do not let her claim the kids anymore - she is just selfish!!
We are in kind of the same
We are in kind of the same boat. My husband went to court and the judge ordered that he gets to claim sd10 on even years starting in 2010. The only problem is the judge did not create any paperwork about it. My dh talked to his attorney and he said that this happens all the time that papers are not sent out for a ruling like this and that bm needs to signs the papers when time comes.She has refrenced knowing that my dh gets to claim his daughter in text messages, but when the time comes.....
I see this being a big event that will be drug out forever! I have no clue how to help dh when tax time comes and she won't sign the papers and we have no physical proof!