Disengaging???
Forums:
I am new to the site and to this SM business but I have seen several people talk about disengaging. I would like comments on the disengaging process. My SS15 is with us at least 5 days a week now and I have noticed it is getting harder not to notice and mention the things that are driving me nuts. Like no responsibility or chores, telling me how he wants/likes things, interupting me when I am trying to talk to DH, etc. DH feels like I am picking on him or that I am too hard on him whenever I mention anything.
Welcome! This site is a great
Welcome! This site is a great place to vent especially when you feel like you are going crazy!!
I work on my disengaging daily and it is going pretty well. My DH also thinks I am picking on SS13 when I mention things so I have learned not to say anything and just look away. His grades, chores, what he wants/doesn't want...If it doesn't affect you then let it go. If it is something that affects you then call your SS on it right away like when he interupts you.
My DH works nights and I usually don't cook when he is at work. I figure if SS doesn't like what I make when DH is around he certainly won't like what I make when he isn't. Why put myself through all that?
My DH and I are both reading
My DH and I are both reading Stepmonster together, and BOY, not only is it an eye opener (and reads like our life to a "T", but DH is actually WAKING UP to what he's been doing. He actually NEVER realized the "marriage" comes first until he read the first few chapters. He actually said "I always thought the children came first". I said "yea, well, you weren't exactly in healthy marriage (to BM) to begin with, and you two didn't have the realtionship WE have now. Your lives revolved around your girls".
He admits there is a lot of good material in that book and wants to read it again to get a better grasp and understanding......I am so thankful to have bought it. I think our marriage is going to survive.