LOOOL. Enjoy your time. Hopefully "Glade" (nickname for your SS popped in my head) is stinking up BM's house so bad that she makes him shower.

Is this body odor? You are what you eat. There are also diseases and inherited traits that cause body odor.

Ugh! My skids stuff REEKED when we brought them here...I went through half a bottle of laundry detergent trying to get the reek out. Mostly I succeeded, but SS's jeans still reeked after hot water wash with fabric softener. DH says it's because of BMs cigar habit--those cigarette sized ones that are cheaper than cigs.

Can't IMAGINE what I'd do if they still reeked. eeeeewwww!!

I sooo understand your stress level reduction and relief that he left. My 18 yr old step daughter decided that she did't want to live by our rules anymore (the only one was don't lie to us..ooooo, how dare we have that rule) and got up in her dads face and moved out. The whole atmosphere in our home is different. I'm way more calm and it's nice not having to argue everyday and wonder what your being lied to about, what strangers are in your house when your not home and I can leave my purse lying around without her stealing from me. Her dad doesn't seem to be missing her either. The peace is beyond nice. We work hard and don't deserve for our home to be full of chaos and deceit. Especially since we have a 9 year old son who is very mild and sweet and deserves a calm household. We have both agreed that she will not be moving back in (and its been 5 months since she left). Her brother is moving into her big room and I will be getting the guest bedroom I've always wanted to have.

TO nasus926

As long as he is in your home then you have the right to set down the rules as to what is and is not acceptable period. At 18 they are no longer the child in your home that you legally are responsible for taking care of, but an adult guest. At 18 it is a privledge and not a right for them to live there. You have every right to take away his key if he is not acting responsibly in your home. You and your husband need to sit down and come to an agreement as to what is acceptable behavior in your home and what the consequences will be when the rules aren't followed. Our daughter could not be trusted when we were out of town so we made her stay with the grandparents. It got to the point where she couldn't be at home alone after school for an hour and a half until dad got home from work, so we took her key away and made her go to my parents house everyday after school. When she left for good we changed the locks. You don't want your SS to have strangers in your home when you are not there either. It's a terrible feeling to not feel that your house is safe when you are away (I know that one for sure).Don't forget, it's YOUR home and YOU work for it. I am so glad I found this site. It's so nice to be able to talk back and forth to people who truly understand.

TO nasus926

I had the same problem with my husband when my SD was younger. It was ok for me to run the household and take care of all her needs but he was not much of a disciplinarian. She had nothing to have an attitude about when all he did with her were happy things. I was the one always fighting with her. It took many years (I have been with her since she was 5)and many fights with my husband before he would start stepping up to the plate and taking notice of the things she did. I also think that since I was the one taking care of the things she needed and had the most interaction with her on a non-playing level, that my husband never really was put in the situations for her to make him angry. I decided to start stepping back and making him take care of some of the things that would cause her to have an attitude and be difficult. Once he started getting a taste then things changed. I did the same things when she became a teenager and I felt like he wasn't paying attention to the lies and mouthiness. We made a deal that everytime she wanted to do something or go somewhere that I would tell her that she needed to ask her dad. I told him that this would stop a lot of the arguing between her and I and the complaining that I was always doing to him. It was very frustrating at first because he seemed to say yes to everything and always believe what she told him and she would smile and go on her way but after a little while she started ignoring some of the curfews he had set (and I would subtly point it out in a non confrontational way like I was on his side)then giving him attitude when he said something about it and he was furios (they had this type of confrontation that led to her moving out of the house). When I knew she was lying I would figure out a way for him to find out the truth (men like to feel that they have discovered things on their own and hate to be made fools of). When your SS brought the girl down to his bedroom, would you have been able to insist that your husband go down there and tell him the girl had to go (or set up your neighbor friend to say something to make him feel funny about what his son was doing so he felt like he had to go down there)? I would try to put your husband in situations where he will get the same type of attitude from his son that your SS gives to you (without him knowing you are). Teenagers can never hold it back. It may take some manipulating of the situations but I would suggest at least trying it. That way you appear to be out of the mix and the trouble is between them. Then you can be on his side and tell him that it's so awful that his son treated him that way and how unacceptable that is).