I definitely adore my FSS! He is almost 3 and I have been a part of his life for the majority of his life. He too has a CRAZY BM. He lives with me and FDH full time and I love having him. I have no children of my own so I don't know about that aspect of things but to answer your question of whether I love my FSS or not, the answer is yes. I do. I love him as if he were my own. Everyone goes through ups and downs with step children. Being a step parent will most always be a challenge I'm sure but being happy and accepting the step children can only make things easier and better. I think loving them only benefits your relationships. I too hate seeing him go to his BM's simply because she doesn't deserve him but he is rightfully hers, he has always come home to us safely and he is always happy to be home with us. I enjoy that. Your definitely ready for this, you shouldn't have to ask. It should be something you just know on your own.

I think deep down we all love our Skids...
we just dislike all the stress and fights and bullshit that has been added to our lives!
We dont like that our SO cant or wont make his/her kids mind and yet we have to "deal" bc when you date or marry someone with kids... you date or marry their kids as well!

I love my FSD... but we have issues!

Also, this is a website to VENT! Not to tell how happy we are and how perfect our "blended families" are! We get on here and compare horror stories of baby-momma drama and SO not backing us up, or Skids making a huge mess and expect us to clean it up!

We may love them... we just dont always LIKE them! BIG BIG BIG difference!

Good Luck Little Miss PERFECT BLENDED FAMILY!

Wow... I think Im sounding like a bitch tonight... sorry guys, read my last blog and youll know why! Had t hat talk with SO tonight! hmmmm.....

I love my skids, but I don't always like them or want to be around them. Sometimes we need a break... and I know this is an "okay" feeling to have since I sometimes feel the same way about my bio-son!

nope, pretty sure i don't love skids.... i barely tolerate them.. and it has a lot to do with, bm & mil plus what dab said above:

"(with instances of pure sh!ttiness), but the expense, annoyance and inconvenience they have added to my life gets me hot under the collar."

i don't wish them any harm, i just wish they would go far far away for a very long time! }:)

I love my skids. They have been a part of my life for the last 3 years, and have lived in what used to be my house, now our house for the last 2. We have had to overcome quite a few issues in the last 3 years, and I am still trying to find resolution to some continuing issues.

I have 2 SS, ten months apart in age. One, the oldest, spent the first 5 years of life being in charge of his family. Everyone in his family would jump when he said jump. When I came into their lives, the roles were nearly permanently set. I was amazed by the power and authority given to this child. Here is just one example. Because the boys were so close in age single dad would give them baths together. No biggie, completely normal. BUT, if the younger one said he was done and wanted to get out, the older one would complain because he wasn't finished playing with the younger one, and single dad would MAKE the younger one stay in the tub and play with the other. This scene replayed itself in hundreds of way, what was made for dinner, what they watched on TV, and how they were punished, the younger ones birthday came first in the year because of the 10 month separation, so any birthday party for him wound up being a party for both.

It took me a more than a year to get dh to realize the emotional and psychological damage that was playing out between to the boys, by his blatant favoritism of the older one. The said thing was, everyone in the family did much the same thing. I took up for the younger one, and it is still a battle I fight.

You need to be completely aware of what the difference in your parenting styles. My dh was a parent who does not see a need for structure, more of a reactionary type of parenting, and you can only assume how bad that turned out to be when he had a bias against one of his boys. He tends to overlook the things the older one does, and when the youger imitates his lder brother, dhg would come down hard on him. When they moved in I sat down with my dh and we settled on the "house rules" that are enforced equally among all the children, my 2 and his 2. Every once in a while I will see dh slip, and he still gets defeinsive when I call him on it.

The problems that I continue to have circle around the older SS. He continues to fight the equality in the house. When I told him we say please and thank you in this house he said and I quote "I'm not your servant". I find myself engaged in a battle of wills with the older one, because he won't cooperate and refuses assimilate into this new family. I don't blame him. I blame his upbringing in the first five years, and I blame BM and MIL. BM and MIL still treat him differently, and regularly paint me to the boys as the evil step mom, who is just picking on the older one. I have repeatedly explained all the rules are applied to every child, no one is expected to follow more strict or less strict rules, the rules are the same for everyone.

I dread the return of the boys from a visit to BM or MIL. They are always mouthy, and disrespectful (I don't have to listen to you, etc. etc.) but after a few days, they are back to trying to be full members of our little family. It is the outside influences that couse mayhem in my home.

You need to be aware of Dh's ideal home after your marriage, who handles discipline, how are chores going to be doled out, what kind of new family traditions are you going to begin. I suggest researching parenting styles. The time to figure out these important issues is before you get married while you are still just starting to blend.

I never stopped to think about it until i was already almost a year into being a custodial stepmom, but I would not have changed my entire life if I didnt care about kiddo. As stubborn as I am, I would not have made those "parental" sacrifices if I didnt care about the little boogger. My life went from do whatever i want whenever i want, f anyone who doesnt agree, and spending every moment since i became sexually active making sure i did NOT get pregnant to being instant "mom" to a traumatized toddler who was the second child of a 16 year old at the time he was born... overnight. literally overnight. Yeah. I love him. If the situation had been like some other people's on here, and kiddo had tortured me and all that, i would have said F it and bailed. But who can bail on a sweet, polite, intelligent baby whose been put through the ringer? not me. i fell in love. Some times he gets on my nerves, some times i have to send him to time out, some times its painfully obvious that this is NOT my child... but i still love him then.