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How to handle?

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

Submitted by Couldawouldashoulda on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 8:16pm

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Hi all,

Just found this site (thank god),and was incredibly relieved and enlighted to now identify PAS. I spent all night and today researching it. Now that I understand what it is, I still cannot seem to find the correct way to handle the "phone interrogation". BM calls constantly to interrogate SS14 and now he is hiding in the bathroom and bedroom to give her required info. How do I handle this the "correct" way? Thanks for any help!

stepitup's picture

Submitted by stepitup on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 9:48pm

Ask DH to confront her about it and remind her how wrong it is to use a child for her immaturities? She needs to get a life of her own and stop using her son to access private information.

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

Submitted by Couldawouldashoulda on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 10:06pm

I know, huh? She will just deny it. She is a classic textbook narcissist and is more concerned with the alienation than the SS14's best interest. Is there something we can tell him or say to him to make it stop without further damaging him? Is there a certain point that the actual child can understand that it isn't healthy for them? Could really use some help on this one b/c I'm really nervous to mis-step here....

stepitup's picture

Submitted by stepitup on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 10:15pm

I would assume the best way is to show him love and support, because trying to explain anything to a 14 year old is wasted, not because he's a bad child, only because he's a teenager with different point of views and honestly, he's immature at this age. He will realize when he IS mature whom in his life were, in fact, supportive and who made mistakes.

If I were you, I would TRY to overlook this and file it as yet another immature/invasive act the BM is doing. Document everything. If SS is caught in the act, mention that you do not agree with this and it has to stop at some point, I'm sure he has better things to do with his time.

This is only MY advice, I am dreading the day my SD becomes a teenager! lol

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

Submitted by Couldawouldashoulda on Fri, 09/17/2010 - 11:07pm

I must've accidentally hit save twice, so there is a duplicate How to handle message out there, so just disregard. So in answer to They8ntmine: It's 50/50 and we do week on and week off. Yes, I would like help on the phone interrogating? Thank you Stepitup, and yes he is VERY immature for his age due to the PAS has been incredibly bad!