Ex-wife at grandma's funeral
Forums:
I need help, and honest opinions please.
DH and his ex-wife were married for 4 years, been divorced for 8 years. He and I have been happily married now for 3 years. His grandmother died the other day and the funeral is tomorrow. My MIL doesn't get along with my husband or I at all. She's preceded to call the ex and tell her all about the arrangements and invite her to come. She's not only going to funeral but the visitation and all as well. She's only going to irritate DH. My husband has asked me to go. He says he needs me. We are very close, but this has made me SO uncomfortable. It's like the two people who dislike me the most in the world will be in the same room, at a funeral... help me deal with this in my head.
You and DH are a team that
You and DH are a team that MIL is currently not a part of and BM/XW will never be a part of.
Go, be there for each other, let the shine of your closeness send XW and even MIL running for the dark corners of the funeral like cockroaches when a light gets turned on in a dark room.
The cryptonite for toxic people is happy people Being happy with your DH and supportive of each other is the best thing you can do to counter XW and MILs negativity.
Good luck, best regards, hang in there and my condolences to your DH on the loss of his Grandmother.
Best regards,
We recently had to go through
We recently had to go through this. fdh asked me for support and o did it for him and only for him. Keep a low profile, stay close to your dh and favorite line I used..."this is not the time or the place to discuss such matters".
fdh x family is crazier than crazy so we made sure we got the late left early.
You guys have helped me feel
You guys have helped me feel so much better.
Rags, this helped... "You and DH are a team that MIL is currently not a part of and BM/XW will never be a part of."
Thank you!!
Yes, please go to support
Yes, please go to support your DH.
Remember this, if them making you uncomfortable makes you decide not to go, then they have WON.
So terrible that these people
So terrible that these people use a time of death to get their jabs in and act like 5 year olds.
I'm sorry, ex has no right to be there. MIL should never had invited her.
I had a previous relationship that I was in for 4 years. Never married or engaged or anything, but I could never imagine in a million years inviting him to something like that. Since when did things like this become an open invitation to everyone in our past?!
I agree with everyone else though, you should go to the funeral to support your DH. And like others have said, be careful to not let it show that you are irritated. Just be the loving, supporting wife to him that I'm sure you are and keep your chin up!
Oh, you guys! It was a
Oh, you guys! It was a circus. She actually walked with the family and sat in the FRONT row next to his mother. We didn't take our small children, but our 17 year old son went. The three of us didn't even sit with the family. It was so disrespectful. My husband said he buried two people yesterday. His grandmother and his mother. There's something about this that has really pushed us not to let these things bother us though. As soon as we got in the car to leave, we closed an entire chapter in our lives. There are great things in our future without that negative energy.
Time to act like an adult.
Time to act like an adult. Ignore anything that is said or done that you might dislike and advise your husband to do the same.
Let the others act out if they must you two act like you're at a funeral. You have only one purpose - to give respect to grandma - everything else is irrelevent.
Then exit with your heads held high.
I have a different problem on
I have a different problem on the horizon concerning funerals.
SS35 is terminally ill. He and his father have not spoken in over 14 years. This is a man who skipped the state on felony charges. He is the lowest of low lifes. I don't know the details - but it literally may have been murder. He is AWFUL. Sorry to speak ill of the almost dead.
Don't know what we will do about the funeral. SS has refused to see him. I have told him though that if he even THINKS about hugging the ex (whore, whore, whore) at the funeral I WILL cause a scene.
I don't think it's "BAD" for
I don't think it's "BAD" for x wife to go to family events such as funerals or weddings-especially upon invitation.
as my xhubands x wife, i've been to more family events like that than his wife-i don't always go but i DO go to the members who meant something to me and pay my respects to the deceased and immediate family members, and honestly i could give a damn if smom has an issue with it. in fact she doesn't go if she knows i'm going-that's her loss
go be there for your dh