I am a bonus mom to a wonderful 13 yearold girl, a lil background he father and i were together as young teenagers we had a baby bein so young and everything we split up, after about a year and a half later bd came and her mom and him were completly different so they didnt work out....we got back together and 5 years later got married, and we continued to have 2 more wonderful children. My dh and i have always been in my bd life and has had and kept all visitation went to school and sport activities and supported her above and beyond the child support. she is treated and loved 100% as one of my own. well recently her bm moved her 4 hours away and with her wantin dh to have less visitation and pay more money, plus with the wishes of the bd he took her to court and got joint legal and physical custody with his home bein primary. what im needin advice on which has always been a problem with her but not so much since she was in her custody, but now that shes in ours we will have to relay all info to bm. well the problem is that she refuses to talk to me about anything, and actually made a big deal about it in court that all convos are to be between her and dh, which is fine but then she complains when he says i has to talk to my wife and she what she has planned or if he doesnt give her the info fast enough.....we have tried to tell her 1. we run our home together and one dont make decisions without consultin the other and 2. i handle all that info, i take care of bill, kids dr appointments, kids school activities and functions such as enrollin, when band concerts, sports everything.....i even went through to see exactly when my husbands visitations were when bm had custody. dont get me wrong my husband is a great father and wonderful husband but is very forgetful and dont always understand what is bein said to him and idk if she likes to ues that to her advantage or if she feels i have no right to or its not my concern to be involved in these convos or what...i really dont know......but what im wantin is any addvise on a polite and straigh forward way to explain to her without breakin the court order (which says no 3rd party interference) that to make things easier on her on us and to relay info faster and get answers to changin visitation schedule or whats goin on in school then it would be in her best intrest to go through me???