Holy CRAP. Have you ever heard of anything like this?
My GF and I are on again/off again and today we've been talking and now she's trying to tell me that her soon-to-be-ex husband (who has it in the temporary orders that no boyfriends or girlfriends can be around the kids until the divorce is final) is not only putting in the divorce (or trying to, which means a BIG fight and the kids have to go see an amicus attorney and shit) that I can't EVER be around the kids, but that, GET THIS, if she and I EVER get married instead of joint custody (week on/week off) he gets FULL CUSTODY of the kids. :jawdrop:
I'm not a drug-user, not a child molester, not a loser, make plenty of money, the only thing I've got is a DWI and a bunch of people who dislike me for business reasons. I did send him one bad text and one bad email, but that's IT. He has some letter from my ex saying I was shitty to her daughter (SD14) which is total bullshit and I doubt would fly in court, but that is ALL.
Anyone ever heard of anything like that?
I think it's just an excuse. She doesn't want to be with me and she's just been using me and I guess it's a good thing we split up... 
Seriously though, anyone?
It's an excuse, no way would
It's an excuse, no way would that be enforceable.
Sounds like BioDad just
Sounds like BioDad just doesn't like you because you were nasty to him once and he's crazy. I'm impressed you even put up with this drama for this long if you're just on/off again, I would've split way earlier and been like, "Deuces folks, have fun with that." Is it just YOU the kids can't be around, or is he trying to make it so they can't be around ANY boyfriend she has? If that's the case, he's clearly a total a-hole who's taking a break from reality. P.S. unless you're a really bad person, I'm pretty sure that wouldn't hold up in court.
Just me. And I did send him a
Just me. And I did send him a text after she went back to him saying "congratulations you win. she lied to me the whole time" so that was bad. And she was harassing me and threatening to go back with him and she would email me and tell me about dates she had planned and that she was out drinking and after about five warnings that I was going to email him she pushed my buttons again and I sent him an email that said "if you don't get your wife under control and tell her to leave me along I'm going to send this homemade porn out all over the internet and you can explain it to your kids when someone in school tells them they saw their mommy naked." That was a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD idea but she was just constantly harassing me and I gave her about five warnings and she basically said "do it you piece of shit" and I had all I could stand and DID. It got the problem solved, she left me alone a good long while... and then of course we got back together. Ugh. Shoulda known and just let her be a shit and not responded.
And that's it. I've never hit a woman, or a kid, or been arrested with drugs, or any of that kind of shit. Hell I have had employees (women) get strung out on methamphetamine and still get full custody of their kids. This just seems like bullshit to me. He's trying to keep me away from her and that's all he's trying to do. Shit we could say that the kids could only be around me with her present and he wouldn't go for it. He's not trying to protect them, he's trying to keep me from "his wife".
He knows they are her #1 priority and all he has to do is make it where they'd have to go to an amicus attorney or counselor and feel uncomfortable or testify in court and she'll cave because she feels like SHE'S doing it to them instead of HIM. He's good like that. He pulls shit like "if BF is at ________ I'm not going" and so she feels like if she takes me and he doesn't go that SHE is keeping the kids from seeing Daddy when they want him there too... That'll go on our WHOLE LIVES if we end up together (which ain't looking too damned likely right now).
Man this is ridiculous. Oh well... at least I know that she just doesn't have it in her to say "screw it I never wanted to be with you" and is making shit up because there's no way anyone in their right mind could believe that could really happen.
I suppose this tells me what I needed to know. She was never going to marry me. Next she'll say the mob emailed her and told her if she marries me they're putting out a hit on her kids.
I just can't believe any
I just can't believe any judge would say "if you EVER marry so and so ExH gets full custody.
I mean Jesus, at the VERY WORST I'd think they'd say So and So is a piece of shit and can NEVER be around the kids. Nobody would say "when you don't have the kids, if you marry so and so, you lose the kids even if he isn't around them because... well it's not to protect the kids obviously because he isn't around them... it's because we want your ex to control who you marry. Yeah..."
Boy the more I think about it I must be a complete tard to even keep talking to her. I emailed her this link so she could see what the rest of the world said, and that's it for me. I'm done, AGAIN.
Though I regret sending the
Though I regret sending the link and wish I'd kept my secret venting spot to myself. Shit. Sorry ST...
Ha ha ha! OMG, Confused, you
Ha ha ha! OMG, Confused, you just have the guts to do what I want to do so badly. Your mistake was not waiting until more people had posted about how psychotic the situation is!
Do you really want to be
Do you really want to be married to someone like this? and Deal with her crazy crap for the rest of your life? I think you know what to do. You seem better of.
I wish I could answer the
I wish I could answer the "why" questions. Seriously she's 35 with two kids, a redneck husband who thinks I'm Satan, and a family that thinks I created AIDS and unleashed it on an unsuspecting mankind. There have been younger, childless, better looking (not in my eyes but in the eyes of everyone I've asked about the subject) women who have thrown themselves at me and I can't get away from her. She has lied to me (and in all fairness I've lied to her too), and been awful and still, for some reason, I can not get past her. I can only tell you that when she is not next to me I feel empty and when she is I feel great. When I lie in bed with her I wrap myself completely around her and sleep like a baby. When I was with my ex I hung half off the bed to stay away from her.
This girl has the mojo on me and it has never been like this before for me. She's probably the first person I'd seriously die to protect. I have been AWFUL to her at times, and she to me, and neither of us thinks the other REALLY loves us, but deep down I know that whatever is in charge upstairs made this woman for me.
Now if I could just get her to quit being a loony...
And if just one more time she says "you never wanted my kids anyway" or "you want me to lose my kids" or "your friends say you don't like kids and you'll try to push mine away" I'm going to explode. I think about those kids every other minute that I'm not thinking about her and i'd give my right arm just to be able to put my left arm around them. Man those comments piss me off the most. I just want to shake her pretty little head until the marbles get into the right places. Ugh...
I'm going to pour myself something and try to relax. Thanks for the help.
I keep trying to run. Today
I keep trying to run. Today may be my first really serious effort. She's going to her Dad's for Father's Day with her dad and her grandpa, and her kids, and WAIT... BD will be there too... I told her not to contact me anymore. That was really the last straw. I'm going to sit at home alone while they all go to lunch and do the family thing. I told her to kiss the fattest part of my ass and then I got on Verizon.com and blocked her from my cellphone.
I don't really think it's lust, though she is AMAZING to me physically and we have GREAT sex. Honestly she's one of the smartest people I've ever met and she's fun as hell and she's warm at times and I can't IMAGINE living WITHOUT her, but at this point I can't STAND living WITH her.
This time I'm really going to try to stay gone and not engage if she tries to contact me.
Mate, look up and read about
Mate, look up and read about co-dependence on the web. I suspect you need to do some work on yourself if you are prepared to put up with shit like that, even for someone who is nice part of the time.
And I am speaking as an expert who has finally learned that I am allowed to have a good relationship with a sane individual.
Well it's all a moot point
Well it's all a moot point now. She spent Father's day with her Grandfather, Father, kids... AND BD. And I went to church and then spent the day watching horseracing with a friend.
So that pretty much means I don't give a shit if she does sign it...
But thanks for the thoughts anyway
If she agrees to it only if
If she agrees to it only if she feels that this will be a temporary fix to avoind a long drawn out court battle think again. If she allows it in the order, it is binding and the kids can and will be held from visitation if the order is broken. My husband's ex attempted this and in order to get her to agree to allow the kids to see a therapist he agreed believing that it would be a quick fix once the therapist saw us. She did not keep her end of the deal, she has refused to take or participate in therapy as court ordered so we for the past three years have been in a battle attempting to get her participation. We even were able to get the court to allow us to tape phone calls and in one of the phone calls that she admitted that as long as she refuses to allow ss13 to see a therapist then unless we break the order she continues to be able to keep him from even seeing his dad.
The both of you need to go in with your eyes wide open. I even know of prenups that outline that in the event of a divorce/seperation that the kids will not even be around any other party of the opposite sex. It is binding.
Can you say crazy BM?
Can you say crazy BM? Screwing up the kids more. And dating a crazy BM only leds to more of same, craziness.