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Maybe someone needs to tell him!

colliebean72's picture

OK, so get this one. Omg, so my bf and I were talking about when we get married one day in front of his son. We've been together for over 5 yrs, so not a big deal. His son says, you can't get married to my daddy, he already has a wife. So I say, oh yeah, who would that be. He says my bf's ex wife's name (his son's mother). Oh that's interesting. He is 6 years old (almost 7). Isn't it time one of them explain the sitution??!! I understand his confusion since BM is EVERYWHERE all the time! She practially lives at my bf's parents house. She's always there. I think at this point someone should make things clear to him. I think he probably thinks someday they will all be one big happy family again. His ex thinks she is still all best friends with my bf. I can't stand it! She's always texting him, she's all into his family's business and I can't stand it!!
I just think it's not fair to let the kid live in fantasy land any more.
What do you guys think?

melis070179's picture

I think if he realy thinks that, then as soon as he realizes they aren't married, you're gonna have a terror on your hands.

glynne's picture

Agree Melis. The parents should have sat the poor kid down and explained what Mommy and Daddy were doing and what that meant in his life. Instead of protecting him they have just confused him.

On another note - I would be concerned about BM at BF"s parent's home - how is your relationship with them, Colliebean. Do they accept you?

colliebean72's picture

that's what i'm afraid of! I wonder who he thinks I am then. Why I live with his Daddy and his mother lives somewhere else. Weird.

colliebean72's picture

No Glynne, I am not allowed over his parents house. They want nothing to do with me. Long story, they think I contributed to them getting divorced. They were basically seperated when I came along. There were obviously a lot more problems in their marriage. But of course, all the blame is on me. It's a very difficult situation. I'm always stressed about it. My bf tells me that his parents didn't even really ever like his ex, now they are all best friends. I try to not let it bother me, but it does. His parents NEVER do any favors for us, but they fall overthemselves to help her out all the time. We have his son EVERY Saturday. So basically we can never make plans on a weekend because his ex will never switch nights and his parents will never babysit. It really sucks. If I think about it too much, I want to cry. So I try to just keep it out of my mind. oh, the things we do for the guys we love.

glynne's picture

This is not good Collie,

If you continue this relationship you are in for one rough and tough ride. Your BF needs to man up and confront his parents. You are not allowed in their home? Do they come over to yours? BF needs to support you and honor your relationship. You deserve that.

colliebean72's picture

oh nomi, i swear, i wish you lived in MA! haha....we could hangout and have some good gripe sessions!
yes, we are in very similiar situations! his ex his friends on FB with everyone in my BF family that is on it (his mother, brothers, and cousins) I will shamefully admit I check her page often, just to keep an eye out. (Keep your friends close and your enemies closer mentality there)
It drives me nuts. She was over his parents all day on mothers day with a lot of his family and posted all kinds of pics on FB. I think in her head this is either just a way to get back at me or a way to keep herself involved with his fam. drives me nuts!!!!!!! she'll always text him, oh don't forget, so and so's birthday is coming up (someone from his family). i can't stand it. same thing too, they were only married a few years. it's like give me a break. i wish she would meet someone and get a serious bf and get out of my bf's life in that aspect.
i agree, i never thought it would be this hard. but it is. i feel like i'm 37 going on 137!

colliebean72's picture

oh i will add though that everyone in is family with the exception of his parents is friendly to me and likes me. just not to make them all sound totally horrible!

colliebean72's picture

I know Glynne, that is a losing battle. He just goes along and thinks this is OK. He tells me things will never change with them. I have been to their house when they aren't home and vice versa for our house. They've been there a few times and I haven't been there when they've been. It's a tough road, I know. I just deal with it at this point since it's been this way the whole time. We've all been places at the same time (bday parties, etc)his mother just acts like I don't exist. His father actually has tried, but the mother has him on such a short leash, that's about all he can do.
I do wish my BF would grow a pair and let them have it, but I know he'd never do that for his son's sake (he is super close with his parents). So life goes on and I just deal one day at a time. Some stretches are great, others suck. Esp around holidays.