Will a psychologist/councelor treat my son for the narcisstic tendacies he's exhibiting by spending 12 hours a week with BM
Will a psychologist/councelor treat my stepson for the narcisstic tendacies he's exhibiting by spending 3 days a week with his mother?
My 12 year old stepson is showing excessive npd traits. His mother or BM is full blown textbook narcissitic and getting worse every day with age.
He lies nonstop and shows no empathy, he is boisterous & materialistic & very very demanding.
My husband is wondering if there are therapists out there that will just take your word about these things without getting to know the BM first? Similar to children that receive therapy because of an alocholic parent, but in this case it's personality disorder?
How about asking if a therapist can help teach him empathy? Can you request what you would like for the councelor and child to talk about & deal with?
Should we be honest with everyone involved (including BM) and talk openly about npd and its effect?
Is is ok to armchair diagnose BM and then make her prove she doesen't suffer from narcisstic personality disorder?
Thank You
Im not sure that it really
Im not sure that it really matters to a doctor whether or not Bm suffers from any particular disorder. My DH is a child/adolescent behavior disorder therapist and, while family history is helpful, they generally try to treat the individual and their symptoms, not the parents.
I think the counseling would
I think the counseling would be more productive if BM would participate, as that way the counselor can speak with her & is trained to be watchful of her tendencies & what SS may be picking up from her. If he spends a lot of time with her, she will likely be a key to being successful with SS. If she chooses not to participate, or if you choose not to have her participate, a counselor should still be willing to work with SS. The counselor will probably also wish to speak with you & your husband about your concerns. This will give him an idea of what & how to approach the conversation with SS. It's not to say these are the ONLY things they will talk about, as the counselor may find it useful to explore other topics with SS to help get to the root of the issues. I'm doubtful that a therapist can teach SS empathy. They could explain it to him & suggest he maybe work on it, but the therapists job is to help SS reach the root of his issues & help him learn appropriate ways to cope. I would think that the idea of empathy would arise...maybe not by the counselor saying it outright, but just in the idea that empathy is a human emotion that is difficult for some people to show. Perhaps getting to the base of the problems, SS would be more aware of it.
First of all, a good
First of all, a good therapist will want to start with SSs issues first. He/she will go into great anecdotal detail about his problems and specific criteria, which will help him/her diagnose a possible disorder according to the DSM-IV (perhaps npd).
His BMs history may certainly come into play, but only slightly- after all, the therapist is only taking your word into account and has never met her, so there's going to be some skepticism on the therapist's side.
That being said, yes, a good therapist can do some exercises to foster empathy and prosocial behaviors. Children at this age who do not have prosocial behaviors generally have difficulty with social cognition and reading social situations, and there are exercises to help them improve this skill.
And yes, you can certainly bring to the table the specific issue that YOU want the therapist to work on with your child. After all, it is YOUR DIME- the therapist works for you.
Has Mom actually been
Has Mom actually been diagnosed?
A lot of a npd traits are just common traits of teenagers....they eventually mature and leave the selfishness behind.
If mom spends 3 days with kiddo and kiddo is with dad/you for 4 days a week, I find it curious that Mom is the greater contributor to behavior. I think it may be more a product of the entire situation.