So BM is back on the "I need a break" kick. Dec.2009 she asked DH to take the kids b/c she needed to get away for a while. DH asked her what was a while and BM said she wanted to move down south or to another city within our state. DH told her that our lease was up at the end of Jan.2010 and he needed to know for sure b/c we'll have to get a bigger place. About a day later BM said she was taking SD with her but SS didn't want to move. SS wanted to stay with his father. My DH asked if she knew where she was moving and BM said to a city that's 300 miles from us. DH asked if she was sure the kids should be split and she said yes. About a week after that call she calls back and said she's not moving. BM said the kids shouldn't be split 300 miles apart and just wants us to take SS in so she can get a smaller place. That will help her financially. DH asked if this can wait until after the present school year and she agrees.

Now Sunday she calls and wants to move again. BM asked DH to take the kids for 2 weeks. DH asked her again..when are you moving. BM said she wants to go there in the middle of April (the 19th) to apply for jobs and look at apartments. DH asked her what happens if an employer wants you to start right away. Her reply was well you'll keep the kids until the end of the school year (June) BM also said she's keeping her word about letting SS live with him, only SD will relocate with her.

The brother of BM saw us in the mall yesterday. He asked if he can still see the kids when BM moves. My DH said yea but she's coming back. The brother said BM is telling the family that she's moving for good in April. She's also saying that DH will have permanent full custody. DH called BM when we got home. Per BM she's not sure what's she's going to do, BM just knows there's nothing for her in this city. She closed the conversation with they lived with me for 14 years you can do the rest. DH said that's not good enough they have 2 children and she needs to get her plan together now. BM said whatever and hung up. DH is afraid that if he agrees to let the kids stay with us in April, she's not coming back. Her lease is up on her current place and they are moving in with a cousin this Saturday. Therefore she does not have a permanent residence to return to.

I told DH his first priority is his children. I told DH "If a woman can leave claiming she's looking for work and never send for her kids...then maybe she's not a fit parent." As I was saying that I knew I was ending what we have. There's no way I can live with SD. She lies, steals, no hygiene and has a bad attitude. DH doesn't want her to stay b/c she's just as nasty to him. She's nasty to her teachers and to MIL. This was a problem b/4 him and I even met. So now here I am telling the man I love that his children (whom I don't love nor get along) come first in his life. I told him they didn't ask to be here and it's his responsibility to provide for them and care for them. If the mother is abandoning them, perhaps he shouldn't force the kids on her when school is over. Especially if the SD will be 300 miles away and he can't just drive by to check on her. IMO BM hasn't been a fit parent in the last 2 years. I told him that if this happens he shouldn't think of me, but only think of the welfare for his children. DH wants to please all of us. I have no more money for counseling, only for SD to lie. I have no more money to replace items she stole. I have no patience for the eye and neck rolling. I have zero room for her in my life. I can't even picture living with SD

Summers, winter breaks and weekends are hell with SD. I tried, my BC has tried, MIL has tried.....SD just wants to support BM's bad behavior. We honestly don't know if SD will be able to function if BM leaves her here. She's so dependent on BM. Even at our place, SD is texting her BM over and over again. I guess I'll have to wait to see what happens. I just feel like my marriage will be over in less than a month.

I read a few post of SP living in horrible situations b/c of the skids. I'm 30, I don't want to live like that. I also don't want to lose my husband whom I love so very much. I don't have a question.....I just wanted to get his off my chest.

Part of me wishes I would have waited to marry him. I saw the issues with SD and married him anyway....If I would have waited I wouldn't be to hurt right now