I honestly think they do believe they are doing what is right in their minds - as far as getting revenge for not being able to control their exes lives and using the kids as a pawn.

Seems like some of them only think of the kids in the sense of getting child support and trying to look good at events.....

They don't have their kids as the number one priority - making the dad pay no matter what and the new chick pay is what is most important.

Just sad.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

This is a constant question I have when I read all the posts.

I simply think they don't really care. They are unhappy, miserable, normally almost 99% of the time alone and not remarried, have not moved on with their own lives .. lonely, can't find a man .. in general hate their lives and are damn sure they are going to make everyone else as miserable as they are.

They are just normally selfish people (even before they had kids and got married) and that just continues into the who divorce/new wife situation. They are
"everything is about me" "I am owed" type people.

I would also bet a large % of them got married to gain something ..not for true love .. to get money, someone to take care of them .. there was a game plan from the beginning to "get what's mine" to take avanage of the husband for some reason.

Bring in the demon spawn of these selfish a-holes and you got a receipe for pure evil!

The key is these type of women are UNHAPPY MISERABLE with themselves and the ONLY way they can have any happiness (or what they believe is) is to control and minipulate everyone else to get even. This making others miserable makes them feel better about themselves.

Any woman with any self esteem, confidence or self worth would not stoop to the levels they go through.

When my first husband and I broke up and divorced I met the most wonderful man in the world. I was so happy and had a great life. My now DH and I had so much in common and did so much together .. YOU THINK I EVER THOUGHT about calling my ex?? No way!! I was happy .. I didn't call every day, hound him, text him, email him and we had a son together. I didn't call him and cause trouble because I was happy with my new life and didn't have time to worry about what my ex was doing.

Wingnut absolutely believed she was "protecting" her daughter by not allowing dh visitation. She believed this even after several psychologists and child psychiatrists told her that she was causing SD emotional damage. And now that she lost, she believes she never did any of those things.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

I think it's because they are insecure and have "lost" in the competition for the men. For some reason or another, our bfs/h's have chosen us instead of them and they failed at their relationship. I think in the controlling BMs cases they feel like rejected losers and have really low self-esteem. This leads to them trying to control anything they can because they don't have any control over the fact that our husbands don't want them and have rejected them. Obviously this isn't the case with every BM and some of them have moved on and have self-esteem from other things, but it seems like a lot of them are rock bottom and express it by being controlling. Also, they are packing off their kids and sending them into a household over which they have no control and they are usually jealous and angry towards the step-mother. Also, their self-image is often really tied up with being mothers, especially if they are/were stay at home moms, and it can be really hard for them to develop a non-parental self image. I would freak out if I had to send my kid to BMs house. Doesn't excuse their crazy controlling behavior, but helps explain it.

"If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they will kill you." ~Oscar Wilde