As a BM (I am also a SM), I have learned something today on just where the jealous, psychotic, know no boundaries, wretched SM's are comming from.
As you all know, I have two kids, two different dads, two different SM's. ONE SM is an amazing, lovely, beautiful, smart, caring, person and mother. The other is a disgusting, over the boundary stepping, jealous, freak.

One has a fiance (my daughter's dad) whom I get along with, we raise our child together, we consult one another in the best intest of our child, BUT there are unspoken and unseen lines that have been drawn in the sand.... we all know our place in this situation and we all respect one another and our roles. My ex loves and cherishes his fiance' and she loves and cherishes him. There are no secrets between the two, no reason for secrets because both are emotionally stable and both are confident in themselves and in their relationship. With us, we all have an equally important role in my daughter's life, not one is more important than the other and we all understand that.
The other has a pu$$y whipped, emotioanlly beaten down, disgrace of a man/husband, he claims to wear the pants in their family but I guarantee she tells him which ones to put on! He lies to his wife, is uncomfortable if she and I having any contact whatsoever with one another (likey because he could be caught in more lies), and has gone out of his way to make sure that his wife hates me.... which; due to her jealously I don't think was too hard. He has to sneak behind her back in order to partake in a civil conversation with me, he has to fake arguments with me in order to keep her happy because she will fly off the handle if she catches wind that we have any kind of interaction other than a screaming, name calling, nasty encounter. She makes his life hell. He is miserable. My child is miserable when he is in their home as she is so obsessed with me that she can't stop talking trash about me every day to anyone who will listen.... even to my little boy. Before you ask.... she has been lectured and reprimanded in court by numerous court commissioners and judges, there is even a detailed court report on file over the emotional and psychological damage she is and has been for a long time causing to my child. When it comes down to it, there is simply nothing the court can do to make her stop, and they are not going to take him away from his father based on nearly impossible to prove emotional damage.

Anyway, I talked to the pu$$y ex for about an hour today. He told me how miserable he is. He told me that he believes his wife is truly unstable and he is literally afraid of her.... BUT they have a small child together and he is more worried about what his son would turn into if left with her.... he said he knows that she would do everything in her power to take his son from him, that she would spend her life making him misserable. He said he is not proud of his life and the way he lives, but he does whatever is necessary to avoid more of her bi*ching. Says he will lie to her if he has to... he just can't take anymore of it.

I have to say, that my heart went out to him.... but I also couldn't help but wonder; is he telling the truth? If it's REALLY that bad... why doesn't he leave? He is miserable, our child is miserable.... heck, even she is miserable! I get the stuff with his younger son (that he has with her).... but the court would not let her take his son away.... at a minimum he'd still get visitation. I can't help but wonder if he doesn't lie to the both of us? Is that why she hates me so much? Because maybe she's not as stupid as he thinks and she does see that we do get along when she's not involved? Is she the way she is because of him? Wouldn't you slowly go mad in KNOWING that when it came to BM your husband was constantly lying to you and you just can't figure out why? Would you then lash out at BM? I know she is convinced that her husband and I will one day get back together (which is truly laughable) :sick: What has he said to her that would fuel such a nasty fire in her? What did he say about me? And why has he never wanted she and I to have any contact? Other than the fact that I believe he would get caught in more lies.... From an outsiders perspective does it appear that HE is the real problem? That perhaps HE is pitting BM and SM against one another? Or am I just really over-thinking this?