What is the ENTITLEMENT all about?
This has been a big issue for me and others, so I want to get your opinions and wisdom.
What is going on with the ENTITLEMENT that pervades the twenty-somethings these days??
I have 5 skids in late teens and 20s, and I am constantly amazed by their attitudes of entitlement. This is also an issue with the twenty-something biokids of co-workers I have spoken with.
My DH's crew (4 girls, 1 boy) was raised quite modestly in a middle-lower class area. Somehow, they grew to expect that their parents, family, and the world in general owes them a living. Here's a few examples of their misguided beliefs that I have run up against:
I don't need to go to college.
I deserve a good job, even with no training or education.
I deserve a management position even though I was just hired.
I don't have to work at all. That's for other people. Working is a choice and I choose not to.
I expect to get money from my parents when I ask for it. "You OWE it to me!"
I expect my parents will house me for free as long as I breathe.
I don't do housework. I don't cook. I don't shop for food. I don't care for the pets. I don't do chores. I don't contribute to the home in any way and that's OK.
I can take and use anything in the house, even if it doesn't belong to me.
I expect my parents to give me a car, pay for insurance, and pay for my tickets and towing.
I expect my parents will house not only me, but my BF or GF, and our kids for as long as I breathe.
I expect to go on all family vacations and have parents foot the bill.
I don't have to be polite, or civil, or every express gratitude for any of the help I receive. I am owed.
Oh I could go on, but you all get the point. Go ahead and add to the list if you wish! Honestly, when I was in my 20s, these thoughts didn't even enter my mind. In my parents generation I think a young adult with these sentiments would have been laughed at and then fed to the wolves.
So how has this entitled twentysomething generation come about? And why are there so darn many of them?
entitlement
The BS that I hear is they wanted their kds to have a better life than they had themselves. Therefore, they gave them everything and the kds never had to put forth any effort to get anything. I suppose the pot smoking generation raised the entitlement generation.
But...
I dabbled in a lot of trouble- was hanging out with the pot smokers...we didn't feel entitled and I didn't raise my kids to be so. I think there's more to it than that. I really think the whole culture of parenting changed to a "be careful of their self esteem or they'll become a drug addict,homeless, unemployed serial killer.
I just read a good article I posted on here a while back about how the whole "self esteem" movement is causing this. Teachers can't discipline with paddles like we grew up with, we are told we are neanderthals if we mention we spank our kids EVER...
My SD told me point blank "We know you'll never touch us, what consequences can you give us to really hurt us? Ground us? Take away our privilages? Big deal. I don't care. I will never have to be afraid of you because you can't touch me."
She said this while smirking. The shrink was appalled with her.
I have an appointment next week to discuss that visit. I'm really interested in what the shrink will have to say when it's just me. Though she was pretty straight forward to SD about her disgust with SD's attitude, I'm sure she had to edit some.
Peace, love, and red wine
That takes me back a few years. . .
When my step-daughters were much younger, I had full custody along with my then husband who I have since divorced. My step-daughters don't talk to their dad anymore, but consider me their only parent.
Anyway... I do remember an incident years ago where one of my step-daughters was really talking back to me. I had asked her to clean up her room and do her laundry. She was 13 at the time. She refused and when I threatened to ground her, she called me a few choice names to which I promptly gave her one swift whack on the ass. She threatened to call the police on me saying that it was illegal for parents to spank their children.
Know what I did??? I handed her the phone telling her to go right ahead and call them. I further stated "Do you know what will happen?"... They will probably take you away from me because I'm an unfit mother... and put you in foster care with people who don't care about you. You won't have your own room, your TV, private phone and all those lovely clothes that we work so hard to furnish you with. You will probably end up in a different school away from all your friends. If I want to get you back, I'll have to go to parenting classes and prove myself worthy to get you back... Well guess what sweetheart?... Call the police.. infact I'll dial the number for you myself.. But here's the catch.... if they show up and decided to remove you from your home, I'm not going to try and get you back.. you can stay in your foster home and just forget about your friends, your family and all the people who care about you.. because I won't lift a finger to get you back................ but either way, you WILL NOT talk back to me again!!
She pretty much changed her attitude Johnny on the spot. Ha!!!
By the way.. she grew up to be a lovely, gracious daughter and an excellent mother.
Oh the horrors of parenthood..
Jenny
You are my hero!
I LOVE this story.
Where's the sitcom where the parents have all the right things to say?
All I see is crappy reality TV, or Nick shows where the parents are buffoons the kids run over on their way to coolness.
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
I got a good inkling
into what's behind the entitlement movement from my husband last night. He's 51, so about the age of parents with kids in their teens and 20s. I have a SD14 (his child), and she has been a thorn in my backside since we got married (6 years ago). However, this is primarily due to his parenting style.
He was raised with very little, and he resented that very much. So, now that he has a kid of his own, he wants her to have everything he didn't have. To the point of excess. He thinks that if one other kid in her class or peer group has something, she should have it to. He has said to me multiple times, "I want her to have everything the other kids have."
Hence the sense of entitlement. If I want it, I should have it. She informed her dad the other day that he would be buying her a car. When he said no (although I'm sure he'll pay for a large portion of the car), she said, "Fine. I'll just tell my grandpa and he'll buy me a car." No thought of working to earn it. Just who will give it to her.
I don't see this getting any better until this generation of kids grows up and becomes parents, if then.
Agree
I totally agree with you Elizabeth. The result of disposable income + parental guilt has created a whole new kind of monster. But what of the monsters who were not raised with a lot of material things?
Look out--your SD(14) may well turn into what I have to deal with--sniveling, petulant "adult" skids who blame me (of course!) their dad, and the unfair world for the fact that they are complete losers with no ambition and no future.
I can tell you I am wiped out from the energy needed to distance myself from their manipulative antics. My DH shrinks from the phone when it rings...but he always answers it and considers their latest verbal abuse and demands. Guilt runs deep.
Articles
I've read articles that call the 20-somethings Generation Y, & they have a sense of entitlement. They go into the workforce & expect the best jobs, & employers are trying to accomodate them. They also expect to start out having everything they had at home... cable tv, all their furnishings & decor, all the new technological gadgets. Despite having jobs, they still lean on mom & dad a lot. I don't get it. It's like a sense of self accomplishment means nothing now. It's all about how much stuff you've got.
And they still call Generation X slackers! Sheesh.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
It is so sad
that this is so common, especially the "new rich". Maybe this is a broad bush, but I see this more common with kids from parents that were from a modest background, doing better than their parents and SHOWERING their kids with everything under the sun, to the detriment of the future (their retirement, the kids college education. These hardworking parents "pridefully" give their kids everything they didn't have and create monsters.
There are great lessons to be learned in the "struggle" to achieve.
I see many teenagers every day that are not "middle class" kids & they don't display the same arrogance.
My ss (at 25) asked my husband for money & when my husband told him that we had painting (WORK) to be done, he got angry & said that the reason for my husband's existence was to give him money. The bm gave them every gadget available because she could. She was very poor as a kid and this idiotic idea made her proud.
My kids were not brought up as beggars. They NEVER ask me for money. I never asked my parents for money. IT IS CALLED F... PRIDE.
I'm one of those 20 somethings
However, my parents taught me that to have anything, YOU have to work for it. My parents were not rich by any means growing up. We did not have the latest and great gadgets or clothes, but you know what. I realize now that all that stuff does not really matter. i work everyday for the homes I own and the cars I drive. I went to college and worked 2 jobs to pay my own living expenses. Now, each month that I make that student loan payment, I feel proud that I did finish and can afford to have a nice life. I do not want my child to grow up anything like my skids. They have everything they could possibly want plus some. I want my child to acutally appreciate what they have and not grow up expecting things. Please tell me exactly how you do this. This is one of my biggest fear is to raise another spoiled brat.
Perspective
I think one of the best ways to appreciate what you have is to pay attention to those who have less. I was 16 & hated the old beat up ugly pick up trick my folks BOUGHT FOR ME. I was complaining about how ugly it was at school when another student asked me if my folks had money enough to buy me that much. I said yes & he told me I should be grateful. It really hit me, because this was a nice guy whose parents couldn't afford to get him a car. I didn't complain about it anymore.
There's nothing wrong with having nice things, but I think a lot of kids aren't taught that it's a privilege, not a right.
Hipi
When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.
My concern too
I have the same concern regarding my BD(11). She already has so much more stuff than I ever did. Even so, I always drive home the importance of working hard at school, at her lessons, and doing her job for spending money (a paper route). She knows that to get a good job you have to go to college and work for it. So far she hasn't displayed a snotty attitude, but when she even ventures close to one, I nail her.
I think it has helped for her to see my loser adult skids be kicked out of the house--one by one. She often asks me "why didn't they go to college so they can get a good job?" or "Why do they always ask for money? I have to work for my money." One loser skid(21) even stole her paper route tips! I recently heard "I don't want to be like them" (referring to the loser skids). So I hope and pray that she "gets it"--so far things look promising. But that can change too...
Thanks I need to hear someone young gets it!
Good for you and your parents. I can't tell you how many times I've had other parents indicate we're too hard on our kids. It's as if they want to validate their relaxed, buddy buddy attitude by making a parent who is...well actually PARENTING seem over the top strict.
Peace, love, and red wine
Constant examples in my house
My husband is well on his way to cranking out yet another child who feels entitled to everything. My SD14 has chores but doesn't do them, and husband conveniently doesn't notice. Until evil stepmom who is already overwhelmed by working full time and raising two BDs 4 and 1 pitches a fit. Then I am the bad guy.
SD14 is playing club volleyball in a town 1 hour away where her mom lives. This entails transporting her to that town Wednesday afternoon for practice, then transporting her back to our town Wednesday night. Then transporting her back to that town for weekend practices and games. And nobody but me (not BM and not husband) saw a problem with her even asking for something like this. She asks and she gets.
Would husband drive BDs two hours twice a week for a recreational activity? I don't think so!
One time my SD asked H how
One time my SD asked H how much money he made at work- she told him "You have enough money to pay for everything I do"
And then when he was complaining about how much the house cost, she said "If you hadn't bought that house, you would have been able to give us so much more"
AND HE AGREED
I wanna add MORE (what a hot button!!)
I hope I don't repeat any from various posts above - but this is (sadly) too fun....and amazing to know so many out there with the same issues - identically!!!! Some of mine come from my very entitled SS (made particularly so by his guilt-riddled biomom, so if we don't answer yes to the below - and many we don't she does!!! and they make me laugh they're so ludicrous!)) but also some of the college students I've dealt with as a adjunct graphic design teacher this past year. So some are job/kid oriented, some are my kid oriented. In other words - ours aren't the only ones!!!:
I expect that you should understand that Diet Coke, cigarettes and beer are staples that you need to pay for. And if you don't pay for them up front, I know you're not smart enought to figure out that if I ask for a "gas card" I'll use if for just those things.
I expect that not only should my attorney fees and tickets be paid when I drink and drive, but the cost to get me out of jail, and the cost to put the "Club" on my care should be covered by someone but me.
I expect that this Christmas should be just as fun and present-filled as all the others despite the economy, my flunking out of college, your fear for your job, my lack of a job to speak of, and all of the fees associeted with going to jail for 2 extraordinarily high DUIs.
I expect that if groceries come home from the store, if I like anything that came home, it should be able to go right to my room and it's ALL MINE!
I expect my BioMom to keep treating me as her best friend - even if that means lying to her spouse (my Stepdad) and my dad and his mom. I know it's because you left me when I was little and you still feel guilty - but keep doing it - this weird secrecy of ours that makes you feel "special" is going a long way into keeping me just the age you want me - a maturity of 13!
I expect my biomom to back me up in my constant reiterations that there is no alcoholism in my family (even though you know there is quite a bit of it). The counselor is the one who really needs to hear your reassurance that "just a few" is ok in our family. It also helps when you sit and have just a "drink or two' with me.
I expect both "sides" (the biomom/stepdad "side" and the biodad/stepmom "side") to believe me when I tell them how awful the other side is to me. Especially my biomom. Secrets help keep this family functioning the way I like it best - dysfunctional!
I expect that, at 24, I should be able to come and go as I please even though I'm living in your house and not paying rent. After all, I'm 24? The fact that I come in at 3 am, or not at all isn't your concern, is it?
I excpect you to find an apartment for me that's within my "standard of living" - even if it's more than my 20 hour a week part time job will hold. You do understand I can't BEAR the thought of living in a studio, don't you? You'll just have to cover what I can't - and I also expect you to keep this a secret from your husband, and my dad and my stepmom.
I want you all to understand how happy you should be when I manage to make my bed, or close my mouth when I'm eating, or take dishes to the sink (to the dishwasher would ignite a "Hallelujah Chorus" that would make me blush) even though that's what most kids do at 8.
I expect all of my parents (and their families) to keep forgiving me no matter what happens - and that a smile and a hug at Christmas should make up for anything I could have possibly done or said the entire year before.
I expect you to appreciate that I'm getting really good at something - lying! I don't even turn red or twitch anymore.
And most of all - I expect that no matter how many family members, counselors or friends talk to my Biomom and explain that all of this "enabling" isn't heealthy for me (although I don't get that - isn't this how mom's who left their kids at 6 are supposed to 'help' them through life?). I know it may ruin her marriage - and I know my dad and stepmom struggle too because of me - but isn't it what I deserve at this point? I mean - you've made me what I am, right? Particularly my biomom? She doesn't really need my "old" room - and at this rate - she won't need her husband much longer either!
Another thought...
A lot of families are dysfunctional, broken up homes, divorce and single parents. I also feel that a lot of the entitlement comes from parents who parent out of guilt- the I want to be your friend factor, not your parent. Sad isn't it?
Man has the intelligence to change his life,
Sometimes, he just fails to use it...
Nothing good ever comes of parental guilt
Yes, it's sad.While many kids live through dysfunctional situations (including still-happily-married warring bioparents, by the way)I don't think that means the kids will turn into entitlement monsters. As I read these posts, it's painfully obvious that it takes two to play the entitlement game, and the entitlement is fueled in part by parental guilt.
Kids can smell parental guilt a mile away, and they are masters of manipulation. IMHO, while the kids are planted firmly in the present and making demands upon their parent, the guilty parent is living in the past and using the present as a band-aid. So, after manipulating and wheedling and wearing their parent down, the kid gets relief for her/his "pain" by getting what they want, and the parent gets relief from the painful sense of guilt that they feel. Unfortunately that relief is only short-term and the whole cycle starts over again...
Whatever happened to the word NO?
I sure do see it...
In our case b/c DH was the one who kept Disney land BM in check with spoiling SD most of the time when they were married. SD's psychologist warned us that BM's Disneyland and SD's appetite for material bliss would likely get worse with us gaining full custody, b/c now BM feels she has no need to parent at all. We are the complete bad guys all the time. As in, "Your dad said no tripple padded push-up lingerie bras for your 13th b-day????? Well then- let's hit Victoria's Secret!!!"
She's become totally passive aggressive even worsethan before because now she just considers SD her buddy.
We are surrounded by other blended families who are stooping to the same thing. So when the rational parent says no, the non-rational one says yes yes yes. SD brags to everyone how she can "get" BM to do whatever she wants if she just nags her enough. Then is constantly trying to work us the same way. Then we feel cornered and therefore we get more restrictive and have to correct the behaviors over and over b/c ..."Mom doesn't mind if I'm this way there" -like "get over it- this is who I am!" attitude.
Tonight SD claimed once again she doesn't believe in God because she can't see God. I am a Unitarian Universalist, so not a traditional have to have a strict Christian/Jewish/Muslim view of God, but a child who is so determined to be smug about faith at 13....as if she knows everything and we know nothing? Give me a break. Just another example- No God means I can do whatever I want because there'll be no consequences.
Of course later she muttered "God!" under her breath when DH corrected her about something. I was irritated b/c I'd been trying to figure out where my 2 yr old was picking this up- I have been trying to constantly correct her to say Gosh instead. I say the almighty lord's name in vain whooper often, but never in front of 2 year old so I figured she was getting it from one of the kids.
But DH had the best comeback to SD. When she muttered, "GOD!" Dh said, "Since you don't believe in GOD then I would NOT be calling on him right now!"
DH-1
SD-0
Peace, love, and red wine
The Ultimate Gift
I just saw that movie last night, and it actually has a great message about entitlement issues.
Agreed
That sounds like my skid...He's basically a loser already...he got his girlfriend pregnant...they can't stand each other now...he is flunking out of school...he has broken several doors with his baby fits...he's basically had everything go his way all of his life...thanks to rich relatives...he smokes...he does not do chores...he does not help with the pets...he does not do anything but consume. Oh, and he doesn't respect me one bit...I can't wait until he is gone...Or I'm gone...whichever comes first.
Thanks for the posts! I can
Thanks for the posts!
I can relate to this, but I have a skid who is 31 years old, and like the posts on here, he feels entitled. To use our car, eat, drop by at 1AM, and lately he has used a new tactic, that that is to talk to dad in private, and not even talk to me at all.
He goes straight to the source, because I will NOT put up with his tactics, in anyway. They go into a room and shut the door......this way I am cut out. This has been going on for over 10 months.
I can tell you this. I have never seen a 30 year old have a temper tantrum before. Its a pretty awesome sight. Yelling, stomping feet, etc. similar to that of a 2 year old.
Incredible!
Oooh ONE up! I have a 30
Oooh ONE up! I have a 30 year old ex-con step son who lives with us and does this exact same thing. He makes sure that I'm not around because he knows that if I know he's asking for money, my evil alt will appear. }:) Sad enough, BD will give him money for anything, cigarettes, gas, dates, whatever...and then he hides it from me. Not for long though. This ESM is about to propose an ultimatum. Either he gets a job within one month, or he can go live under a bridge. I've had enough.
And they are getting younger too!
I can relate to the comments above with my SD who is only 7!!! Her BM gives her anything and everything she wants. She has learned all she has to do is pout and summon up a couple of tears. SD will tell you very matter-of-factly she knows exactly what to do to get what she wants from BM. At 7!! The BM has gotten SD a cell phone at 5yo and a $200+ ipod at 6yo. The latest thing SD wants is a laptop and it would not surprise me a bit to see it happen. The sad thing is the BM really doesn't have the money to buy this stuff all the time, but will charge it to her already overloaded debt, just to not say no to the SD.
When SD comes to our house she expects the same treatment, but has learned it doesn't work here. She still tries everytime we go into ANY store, she wants something, ANYTHING, and of course doesn't get it. SD will pout a little and try the tears and we just look at her dispassionately and it stops.
SD thinks the world revolves around her at 7. I shudder to think what it's going to be like as she gets older.
Heres my list!
WOW...I can relate to most of this ..I am going to add to!
1. I exspect you to jump to the occasion whenever I call to come pick me up,Forget the fact you have your own life.
2. I exspect you to give me money when I visit even though you pay a 1,000 a month C.P every month.
2. I exspect you to take me out to eat because I want you to and I like to burn All your money, forget about a good home cooked meal.
3. I exspect you to pick me above your partner because I feel I am more important and she can come last.
4. I exspect you to buy my bull crap when I put my little girl voice calling you daddy so I can get my way.
5.I exspect you to beg me to come over because I like it when its all on my terms and my way, and if you dont I can make you feel guilty.
6. I exspect you to listen to me when I play the adult role when its not my business in the first place.
7. I exspect you to entertain me of every minute of every second of the day through out my whole visitation, this includes.. taking me to the mall to hang out with my friends, giving me money to buy junk, staying at the pool all day,going to mc donalds,taking me shopping at Walmart or Bells,and if you dont buy me what I want I pout and get a additude.
8. I also exspect you to let my friends stay the night when I come over because thats what I want.
9. I exspect something every holliday from you because you owe it to me, it does not matter that I dont call you on fathers day or on your birth day because its all about me and mine.
10. Oh and daddy..your a very hated man( was the latest comment) of course til she wanted something.
" Life is like a jar or Jalapeno peppers, what you
do today could burn your a*s tomorrow."
Had another cell phone debate with SD today
She stopped off mad.
It was because she asks me why she can't have one and I say "Because you don't need one. It's excessive in my opinion."
But she thinks she needs one or her friends call her a "loser."
I replied that I would LOSE those friends then because posession of a phone doesn't make you a "winner." She said "NO. But not having one makes you a loser."
Nice friends.
My friends never put me down for what I did or didn't have. I felt left out when the wealthy kids parents seemed to value material things more than mine did, but....
I didn't hang out with them. I hung out with other kids who's parents had similar lifestyles and beliefs as mine did.
I never wanted to be "in" so much to become superficial. Maybe it's because my parents didn't have this disposable income. My mom only had a Sears or Penney's credit card. My dad had no credit card account.
We put things in "lay away" to pay them off on time and still get to have them.
Much better system in my opinion. I might even look into who still offers that service (I know of one store that does.)
That might teach my kids about working toward something. The sooner you earn the money for it, the sooner you get it "out of lay away."
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
OMG
Every single one of your "misguided beliefs" on the list has actually been spoken from the mouth of my FSS!!!!!!!!! Neither my FH, BS or myself have ever been raised that way, yet my FSS has been given or will be given all of the above.
MY FH cannot understand why I want to RUN from this relationship at warp speed. I told him that he has disgraced his own beautiful family and upbringing. (Born and raised in Germany by very modest family). I had the pleasure to go Germany and meet his family this past winter. I wish they were here to knock some f#&ing sense into him.
Millenials
They had a spot on 60 Minutes about this. This new generation is called The Millenials. They have a TOTALLY different mindset than the Baby Boomers or Gen X Slackers (which I would be). They feel entitled. They feel like they know everything. They don't respect their elders or co-workers or teachers -- you name it. They get an entry level job and expect to be getting CEO pay. It's just mind boggling. I have a co-worker who just got out of college and he is absolutely impossible to work with. He doesn't want to communicate and openly says the rest of us are "too old" and should "move on."
As far as my stepdaughters, their entitlement issues are 100% our fault and their BM's fault -- mostly their BM's fault but we are NOT blameless. Starting when they were around 7 or 8, each Christmas their BM got each one their own TVs, then their own VCRs, their own DVD players, their own TiVos, their own laptops -- the list could go on for pages. When they turned 15 they each got their own car. They got new computers from their BM one Christmas only to turn around and get laptops the NEXT Christmas because our oldest thought the desktop wasn't good enough.
Like I said, we aren't blameless. We got them each iPods three or four years ago, for quite a few Christmases we've gotten them various gaming systems (to share as a group present). I feel like my husband has been in a kind of competition with their BM our entire 13 year marriage. So between the guilt and the competition, they know how to play everyone. My point is that between both houses, they have gotten every single thing they've ever wanted on a whim.
Most kids do not have TVs, DVD players, TiVos, cell phones, desktops, laptops, iPods, every gaming system ever made -- it's almost obscene. And it's now coming back to bite us because the middle SD is rude, difficult, and demanding. She is the TEXTBOOK millenial. She has no idea how much her shortness and rudeness hurt my husband. It is infuriating.
This is an epidemic. Read this article....
This generation is referred to as "The Tethered Generation." And, to think...all of these self-absorbed little brats are going to be infiltrating corporate America. So. Very. Scary.
http://www.shrm.org/hrmagazine/articles/0507/0507cover.asp
Thanks so much for posting this article!
It compliments this other one I like too, called the psycho babble of self esteem.
http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/12-28-2001-8842.asp
"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra
add to list
My SD (34 yrs) is all the things that have been listed, plus a few more. DH got custody of Sd when she was 5 in the 70s, tells you what kind of mom she had, for Dads didn't get custody in those days. Remember when times were hard in the late 70s and early 80s? Dh was in contruction and had to travel all over the US to jobs. His Parents took care of her. If he was ever in a place for at least a year, then he took her with him. She turned 13 wanted to date, Dh said no. She gets mad and moves to FL w/BM. You know one of the cities there has a lot of drugs, gangs, prostitues, and my fav was she was a pole dancer at 16. Dh learns this much later. He settle in a small town with a good job by 84, but the sm town just wastn't wild enough for her.
Adds:
All I ever wanted was a family. Doesnt matter that I am been married twice and almost a third time, big weddings that DDDDaaaDDDDDyyy paid for and the divorces too. Two kids, different dads. that doesnt count as a family.
I can get drunk and call you anytime b/c you (Dad) is the only one I can talk to - he11 the only one to take her drunk dialing.
I can cut my wrist on the side half way up my arm where there is no way that I will die, for I have to do this in front of my kids. Let see about 4 times in the pass 18 mos.
I can threaten to kill again, and again and etc, myself so you will pay for everything.
I can move out of HUD apartments with no job and no intention of ever getting another job into a house and blow the he11 out of my 401k, b/c you will pay my rent. Move her a$$ back into the HUD apt - the HUD apts are new, huge and very nice. But then I wont need daddy to paid my rent and hopes this keeps his wife from getting any of it.
I am his only bio child and when he dies I get everything. She believes this and does everything she can to keep him upset to have a stroke. He has PTSD.
I can call you and tell you the kids dont have food to eat so you can put money in my account for me to buy alcohol. She is the only person that I know that can drink a whole box of wine in one evening.
I can cuss you worst than any salior can cuss and expect you to forget it.
I can tell lies about your wife and call her, text her and cuss her out on the cell, for I am way too chicken to do it to her face cause the one time I tried it I almost got the $hit knocked out of me.
And DDDDDaaaaDDDDDyyy you are making this up, I didn't do that, you are lying. DH simply says you were drunk now do better. He act to me like it is okay for her to get by with everything b/c she was drunk and don't remember it. BFS
The lastest that SD pulled included her getting drunk, saw ex bf out on a date and driving to his apt banging and kicking the door in, to which she went to jail, across the state for us, got out of a dui b/c Bm had family that was a police. BUT had to have someone else call DH to wire money to bail her out the next day. Then called again to wire more to have her car towed home. All this she claims b/c she was drunk and it upset her to see him with another gf, but she has been F_ing everybody since then. And she posts way too much info on her myspace to which I tell DH she laughs behind his back to all her friends about what she does and her Dad bails her out.
I just can not imagine going to jail. Says a lot about a young lady and I use the term lady loosely.
Does BM = Bowel Movement, sounds perfect for his ex!
Sarah: you couldn't have
Sarah: you couldn't have described my 28 SS any better. My wife and his father offered to pay for college, but of course he wanted no part of that....too hard. So he has bounced around to so many jobs in the last 5 to 8 years I can even keep track. He has lived out of state most of this time so thankfully I haven't had to deal with it. However, he has now hit bottom.(well I am assuming it's the bottom) He can't find a job so now he is moving back to the area, but fortunately he is moving to his Dad's house. My blood is boiling because I heard my wife talking to sister on the phone the other day talking how she told him he can stay at our house on weekends anytime he wants. Didn't discuss it with me, just basically told him he can treat our house like a hotel. I make about 80% of our household income so I am a litte irritated that I am not at least consulted about this stuff. Also, whenever he was home in the past he always seemed to show up right at dinner time. I am assuming this will now happen every Friday/Saturday night. We like to eat out on weekends so my wife will expect that we should just pay for him like he is a little kid. She has this ridiculous attitude of feeling sorry for him because he doesn't have any money and can't get a decent job. All I know is if he lives in the area too long I can see this driving a wedge into our marriage because I am really frustrated and she has no clue I feel this way. I really don't say much because I have hinted before about him paying his own way and she about ripped my head off. What a miserable, depressing situation. It just seems like this will go on forever. At what age(30?, 40?, 50?) is it reasonable to believe that he doesn't need to be treated like he is about 10.