Thank you to everyone for providing this forum and support for all of us. I am not naturally a joiner, but after lurking for several weeks and recognizing kindred spirits, I am here!

I am announcing to all here that the freeloader SD(24) is now GONE from the house! I have to celebrate because the year and a half that she lived under our roof was truly an awful experience.

When we married and moved in together two years ago, I wasn't aware of how bad it would get. But I learned fast. SD(24) had been used to running her dad's house after his divorce, and she thought she could run my home and marriage as well. She worked a FT job, but her credit was destroyed due to defaults on all her credit cards and loans, including students loans on which her father co-signed--so his credit was taken down as well. The phone rang constantly with creditors trying to catch up with her. Her room was a pigpen--really gross. She ignored me and acted "entitled" in so many ways. For instance, she would make brownies and refuse to share with BD(11). She would demand $$$ from her dad while wearing $200 jeans and holding a Coach bag. Sushi dinners were the norm. And the lies...always lies. She lived Hakuna Matata (remember the song from the Lion King?)and enjoyed vacations and shopping trips because she didn't pay rent and what the hell? When asked about her expenses and why she didn't ever have money, she would just lie yet again.

One day I got an EVite inviting me to a Tupperware-like party at my own house! She didn't even ask my permission. It was clear that she was once again trying to take on the "alpha" role and I was just plain SICK of it. That was the final straw. I told her that enough was enough and it was time to move out. At that point she upped the ante and actually sent a group email to the entire extended family -- a large group--telling them how awful I was and trying to pull rank on our marriage (shortened version and names have been changed):

"Last night, we all sat down at the kitchen table to have the "serious sit down" meeting which asked me to have... via E-mail. She said, and i quote "The damage is done. I have tried for a year and a half, and I cannot live like this anymore. I need for you and your father to come up with a date, I need an exact date when you are moving out."

"That being said, I am moving out. There are a few things that have triggered this meeting, which I will share with anyone who would like to hear about it. I am not going to speak to my Dad anymore when I leave, which will most likely be within the next two weeks. I just want to let you all know that I am currently looking to spend Christmas dinner with anyone who will have me around. I hope that each of you understand that she has pushed all of us kids away from him and her. There is a reason that all five of his kids will not be there for him on Christmas."

"I have watched my Dad grow apart from my best friend and caring father, to a stranger that would choose water over blood. I think he is brainwashed to feel numb that his kids do not make an effort to speak with him, and I just can't sit idly by and watch him deteriorate any longer."

This email sealed SD's fate with me. The result? SD(24) is now evicted and not permitted back in the house, even to visit. No one had her for Christmas dinner. Her vain attempt to rally the family against me failed, and, strangely enough, the extended family holds me in even greater esteem for kicking her to the curb. She tried to extort more $$$ from her dad, but that failed too. We removed her from our insurance policy, and will sell her car from under her if payments are not made. She is now alone, and still insisits to anyone who will listen to her whining that everything is MY FAULT.

I have to give a hand to my husband in all this. He is a recovering enabler who is powered by guilt, and for him to get strong and put his wife (me) ahead of his adult children is admirable. That being said, he continues to have weak moments (pity: "SD(24) is like a sad little birdie being kicked out of the nest" and enabling: "SD(24) is short of money and I'm thinking of giving her $$$ each month to make ends meet"). AARGH! Makes me sick, but he usually re-enters reality once again after his weak moments. He agrees that enabling his adult children is not fair to me, and definitely not fair to them.

Thanks for listening, and stay strong out there!