SD - aka the other wife
I'm not sure if anyone has felt this way or not, but I believe my SD18 sees herself as DH's wife. She has resented and hated me since the beginning. I should have taken note, when at 9 years old, she told her father off for 10 minutes, while he just took it. I remembered thinking that it sounded like a grown woman bitch@ng (possibly mimicing her mother?) and was shocked that he didn't stop her.
When we got custody, she was 12. She would lay in bed and scream "daddy!" so he would come in and check on her. It was like he was her servant. If he showed me any affection, she acted jealous. When we would go out for the evening, she would call his cell phone and yell at him for leaving her alone - over and over and over again.
I know, I know, DH should have put an end to all of this immediately. I think he felt guilty.
She still acts like a little baby around him and it makes me sick. I have told him in the past that she thinks that she is his wife and he told me I was sick.
Does anyone else ever feel this way?
Oh yeah...
Same here. My SD was 9 when we married and she's now 20. My DH should have been more strict, but he didn't take crap from her. She's really weird about him. I've done EVERYTHING for this girl and everyone knows it. She hasn't spoken to me in a year....and she has a boyfriend. I don't get it....she is really, really weird about her dad.
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Oh, yeah, waaaay too familiar
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
Christmas. Look across the room. There's SD17 (soon to be 18, soon to be out of high school) sitting on "Daddys" lap. :barf:
This summer, in the back yard. SD17 wearing nothing shorts, nothing top, giving "Daddy" a full body press hug. :barf:
November. Daddy buying matching shoes for himself and SD17. :barf:
This fall. In MY bedroom. H laying on the bed talking. SD17 lays down on MY side of the bed, right next to him. :barf:
Sickening, isn't it? Just one more reason why I am determined to get thru school. :barf:
When my son was visiting, (grown) I considered sitting on his lap-showing H how stupid and inappropriate that is. But couldn't bring myself to do it. Plus my son would probably have rushed me to the nearest PSYCH ward.
Gotta put your foot down, Lynn...
I have three adult SDs (now 29, 28, 25)....five years ago, when H and I first met, they made my life HELL. They wanted NO ONE near their "daddy", and they made sure I knew it.
They "regressed" to baby talk, etc. when I was around, they would physically position themselves between "daddy" and me.
Things are certainly not "perfect" now, but I've made them better, a lot due to advice from this site.
Oldest Sd still thinks she and "daddy" can co-plan events (she is married, but I'm not sure how happily), and I have told H just as recently as last night that if he EVER plans anything with "his wifey" again, he can just go live with her.
Middle SD made a total A$$ out of herself this Christmas. Dumped again, in a drunken stupor, she was "reminiscing" about when she and "daddy" when shopping when she was 23 and he got her "SOOOO MAD" that she just sat down in the middle of the mall!
Oldest SDs HUBBY interjected "How old were you?"
Again, making it clear that THIS BEHAVIOR IS NOT NORMAL.
And, that's what it takes. When other people point out that it is NOT OK, it sinks in.
That's where my H and I are right now. I AM HIS WIFE, and I will settle for nothing else. Or, it's divorce court....the "girlies" broke up his marriage from their MOM with their lunacy; if they break up another marriage (at their age!!), won't they look like idiots.
Make sure, Lynn, YOUR H knows that YOU ARE REACHING THE POINT of LEAVING. And MEAN IT!!!
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Try it with a SS14!
I too said some rather harsh things about this type of behavior to my DH-AND HIS SON NO LESS
We got SS14 (now 16)
He used to babytalk when communicating with his father
He used to sit on his father's lap thumbsucking!
He used to lay all over his father watching TV
He used to get his dad to do everything for him i.e make his lunch, cut his meat (did not eat meat with bones in it so dad had to de-bone it)-make his breakfast and dinner-HAD to have hollandaise sauce or would not eat eggs or fish
I used to hear a litany of what SS16 likes and does not like (like I care!)
at 6'1" big, hairy, smelly and full of acne it was gross (not to mention a major turn off)-all the while DH looks on adoringly at this spectacle of a teenager!
This kid is not even interested in girls(only porn on the computer-who needs a real relationship with a girl!) and has zero relationship with his mom!
I confronted my DH and flat out said -this behavior on both their has to stop-it is sick
His comment-"I did not know how to stop the behavior"
Talk about warping your kid!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Endora, we need to fix up my SD with your SS!! LOL!
I had to read your post twice because I was laughing so hard! My SD sounds like she would be a perfect match for your SS! Here are her specs:
She is grossly overweight, bepimpled and not very attractive. She is also unkempt, doesn't shower sometimes (I can smell her - ick!), doesn't wash her clothes and loves to live in utter filth.
She has never had a date, but initiates sex talk with total strangers on the internet. She also has no relationship with her mom, and no more relationship with me since I kicked her out of the house this weekend. (That's a whole other story).
She also baby talks to her dad...acts like she's picky about what she eats (please!), gets him to cook special things for her etc. Even bats her eyelashes. It is beyond comprehension to me when he looks at her adoringly. Truly, only a bio parent could love this creature.
From your description, I'd say we have a match!! What do you think?