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I"M SOOOOOOOOOOO DONE

Gmama's picture

I AM DONE,supporting my husband, I AM DONE fighting his battles.I AM DONE not sleeping at night because i'm always thinking of his problems with SS and BM.
I AM DONE trying to figure out HIS problems when HE doesen't fight for ANYTHING???? I AM DONE speaking and he doesn't listen. he can start figuring it out himself, i have my own children, my own job, my own family to worrie about.
DH doesn't do a damn thing to stick up for himself, and honestly i don't think he cares eather,she calls the shots,she tells him whats what, SS has a step dad that does what he wants with SS and DH won't say a word,DH says "why bother, whats fighting going to do about it?"
I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO DONE!!!!!!!!

smurfy1smile's picture

Disengage to the fullest! I have had those days too but I keep fighting for my family. Its hard being treated that way and I feel for you.

Try to do somethings for yourself, with and without your kids. It might help you refresh and cleanse your spirit.

BabygotBack1988's picture

i wish i had the balls to be done im to nice !

good luck

life is a box of choclates you never know what your going to get (i always pick the coffe of the box what about you ) Blum 3

Karma_'s picture

Good for you Tammy. Remember you cannot control anyone other than yourself. Draw a line in the sand and tell your hubby what you will and won't allow to happen to you or in your home. Then wish him luck and let him deal (or not deal) with SS and BM his own way. I have a feeling that once you back off, he will slowly start to ask for your advice and (shock, horror!) appreciate your support.

helpppppppphelpppp's picture

i am a new mom and stepmom, too. me and hubby have been married for 7 yrs w/ 3yrs old girl. ex is a pain in the butt for 7 years. how do you deal w/ all the headaches/heartaches that they put you through? she(ex) is trying to take money out of his retirement plan. when is it ever going to stop? he has 4 kids 21,17,15,12. somebody help me understand what to do or how to get this woman to move on with her D**n life.

kassandrarayne's picture

Ok you and I must have the same family.....this is exactly what is going on at my place.

MamaTracy's picture

How do you disengage? I have the same problem with my DH. If the cow says jump he does. I want him to fight for his rights so bad but he just wont. I want my SS to grow up and know that his dad did all he could to fight for him and be able to see him. I am a very hard headed person, have done a lot of reading, know much more of legally what is happening then my husband, and have the biggest mouth and not affraid to use it. Of course the last time I did use it, the cow told him how he was such a nicer guy when he wasn't with me. Well duh!! Cuz he was taking your crap and not saying a word about it you heifer. My DH and I hardly ever fight and if we do it's usually about the cow. I am just so tired of the stress of it all already. How do I disengage from the exwife? How do I let him handle things and not say something when I see things quicker then he does? I just don't know how to do it. Do any of you ladies have any tips on this one? Cuz if I don't find some help quick I'm probly gonna end up divorced for a second time and that's the last thing I want. I already told him that if we end up divorced that he will have his ex cow to thank for that. I just really feel lost cuz the only thing I want to do with her would put me in jail. Help ladies!!

KC's picture

I can totally relate to the world you're living in. Yeah, just don't be pushed to the point I was. I had all the crap I could take. My bf never takes a stand for himself..NEVER. SO I DID! I pulled up to BM's house, knocked on the door, and beat the crap out of her. Yep, sure did...right there on her own front porch. Girlfriend, I ain't proud of it, but it happened. Please, think about what you really can live with...because these kids will always have a mama....ALWAYS! I wish you all the best, KC

bellacita's picture

my fiancee honestly owuld just rather not fight w her or point out anything to her bc its a losing battle...she wont change and it will only turn into a huge arguement and really, hed rather not look at her ugly face or talk to her, bc u cant talk, u can only fight. it makes me mad bc i really believe in standing up for yrself and not letting anyone walk all over u, but he is the opposite...hed rather avoid the conflict. u have to understand u 2 have very different personalities and point out to him how u feel but understand when he doesnt do what u want that its really bc he hates the ex and wants to avoid seeing her or talking to her more than absolutely necessary. trust me it will save many arguements between u 2...we fight every day we get FSD bc of how he handles (or doesnt handle) BM...im so sick of it. just let him go and do his own thing and when things dont turn out how he wants he'll only have himself to blame. now if i could only take my own advice!

stired_crazy's picture

I went through the same thing with my B.F, he use to say" why argue" whats thats gonna solve!

Well..for one it shows that he is standing up for himself and not letting B.M have control of everything, including him and what he wants with kids.

Its like banging your head on a gate which there is nothing productive about it other then getting a bump on your forehead!

I feel ya!

KC's picture

HA! I know where you're coming from! I asked my bf of 2 yrs to move out because I can't deal with his demon child who is 4 yr old and who is dug out of his mother's butt! The baby mama drama is just too much. We are in love and I miss him so much. You say that you are able to get into some kind of a " mental zone" where you are able to think..."not my kids, not my problem." HOW! PLEASE TELL ME HOW YOU DO THAT WITHOUT GOING FREAKIN' CRAZY! I couldn't do it and I wish I could...Maybe you're just a better person than me, or you have nerves of steel...lol. Thanx, KC