Does anyone know if PAS has been used successfully in the ohio court system?
We have been served a contempt of court motion which is totally wrong. We have done nothing to deserve this. It's just another control thing the BM does with her expensive lawyer because she can, her second hubby has a lot of money, she doesn't even have to work. That's why I think she sits around all day thinking how to hurt us! The more I read on Parental Alienation, the more I know this is what she's doing to us. She uses her attorney and the court system the same way a woman with Munchausen by proxy syndrome would use a doctor and hospital. We would like to get shared custody due to Parental Alienation but since this is the 4th time we've gone to court with her we can't afford to hire an attorney. We just don't know what to do! Her attorney will of course be on her side if we try to negogiate out of court. I really am frustrated and tired of this "stuff" My DH doesn't deserve any of this he is a very passive and shy man who would not lay a hand on anyone nor even think of it. So there's no reason for her to act this spiteful. They were never married, had my SD out of wedlock, that is why we have hardly any visitation with my SD just the usual EOW and my SD, just this past weekend stated for the first time I've ever heard her say she would like more time with us. The BM is a spiteful, jealous b@#@h!!!!
Any suggestions would be helpful!!
I wish I knew....
I really don't know the answer to your question, but I have a similar BM and thought I would just offer some support. Our BM is also married to a very wealthy man, and works with him, on his own multi-million $$ business. She is now taking my DH to court for more support, when he already gives her 50% more than court ordered, while we have twins on the way, and are struggling financially. And I too wonder "Why is she so spiteful?" My DH is a wonderful father to my skids, and goes above and beyond his legal obligations to them and to the BM. It blows my mind that some of these BMs just don't care who they hurt, including their own kids, as long as they can hurt us and their exes. I think there has to always be some element of jealousy, otherwise, why would they waste their time. For us, it is obvious that BM hates the idea of anyone else having children with DH. With you I don't know your story, but the tactics your BM uses are the same as with ours.
Just know you are not alone, and I do hope someone on here can answer your question. Best of luck and keep us posted!
Thank you....
so much for the understanding! I have been dealing with this psycho BM for the last 9yrs. and have 9 more to go! I do love my SD, she is at least for now, such a good girl, in spite how her mother acts! She wanted to put her up on the stand the last time we went to court to say things against me! The BM at that time stated we were "making her call me mom" Quite opposite! I have always told my SD to call me whatever she feels comfortable to call me! She had been calling me mom for 8yrs. until the BM had nothing to take us to court over and used that one against me! So not only does she do passive agressive things to my the BF she has also now started a campaign against me and anyone else that stands in her way to destroy us! Unfortunate for her, my H and I are very much in love and I know she doesn't get that from her H and I think good ole jealousy takes over and even against my SD. Because she still likes coming to our house. I just am really sick of her! And because I'm venting on this site I really just can't do a thing about her!
hear ya
Is there someone deals with" Parental Alienation"? Understands it, knows that is real, maybe experienced it?
Dealing with a difficult ex-partner.
I feared for my husbands health and our relationship because of his ex wife.
Turned kids against me.
my husband was divorced from his ex for 5 yrs b4 me.
his kids, 8 and 11 liked me alot, then about 6-1 yr later i was phoney and fake, weird. i washed clothes for my my bf (now husband) and his girls and the girls said, cool she helped with clothes, then orded my man to return the girls clothes to her. but used the kid sas a messenger.
it been hell since.
the girls are now 15 and 18.
Thank you,
Corinne
PAS
My experience is PAS goes on in most divorces, at least to a certain degree. You hardly ever find where its just one unreasonable spouse and the other is a total victim. Also, your step children are at the age where they could likely be making up their own minds about mom, dad and you. All you can do is show them kindness, BUT your husband needs to understand they are growing up in another household and a lot is out of your control. I learned that my husbands ex used to talk bad about us, but so did her entire family and in front of the child, even when he was young. So it often goes much further than just a disgruntled ex. Again what can you do except try and show the kids a good example and hope they turn out well. Sad as it is, your husband will have to learn to move on and put it behind him. Children change and go through many stages, so in a few years (more or less) they may not feel the way they do today.
I also think of the Alec Baldwin case where he claims PAS all the time, but clearly he has demonstrated he is one heck of a nutjob, lol. His daughter is 13 so even if the mother doesn't have a good think to say about her ex, its pretty certain the child see's the dad for what he is and doesn't care to spend a lot of time with him, or his current flavor of the month. I would also side with his wife in trying to keep my child away from such a character, so often PAS hasn't any merit in the courts. Because they realize both sides and extended family are likely involved in belittling the ex spouse.
Your husband needs to distance himself from his ex and both of you would have a lot less stress. He needs to understand as the children become older they will be the ones to decide when and how often they want to visit, part of the process and they may want to spend time with their friends around their moms house. Your husband needs to realize this is pretty normal and not to attribute all to his ex. I mean they are pretty much grown. Make your own plans, go on vacation and if his kids visit great, if not then its hard to enforce especially at their age now. Your husband needs to realize their grown and soon there shouldn't even be a reason to talk to the ex, it should pretty much be over imo. Maybe now is a good time to embark on a new adventure, possibly move or something else to get him to embrace the future more. Just a suggestion.
PAS
From what I understand it's really complex and difficult to prove. I am in Ohio and know no one who's successfully gone through it. I do know that the GAL plays in a lot in Ohio court and she managed to figure out what BM was about in our case. But that was largely due to our work with SD's psychologist which BM only spoke to twice I believe. Enough times for the shrink to understand BM's personality disorder.
In the end our BM caved rather than succumb to a psych screening. My best advice is to work with a counselor on your end. Keep in mind this process can take YEARS and a good deal of money. I swear the courts are lazy and/or bogged down by all this stuff to the point they make it as difficult as possible in hopes that people will settle out of court making their job both lucrative and extrememly easy.
What is the current custody arrangement?
Peace, love, and red wine
not sure
we are experincing pas and it so serious now that my husband lost is oldest dtr.she has dis-owned him.
kids will always support the alienator.
the alienater knows how to do things sneaky like so actully red handed proof is difficult.
we are in canada and im trying to find ppl in consoling that deal with this, understands it.
ours is a long story, if you ever want to know i will tell.