You are here

Almost tried to follow a silver thread of connection with BM

MJL2010's picture

Submitted by MJL2010 on Mon, 02/19/2018 - 2:06pm

And thought better of it!
She sent this awful email to DH about how bad SStwinA13 is being with her lately- and being a compassionate individual who believes that we are all connected and PERHAPS seeking company in my misery, my first instinct was to reach out to her to tell her to hang in there. Right now DD12 is horrified by my mere existence and nothing could have prepared me for this (I thought she and I were special and had a much stronger mother/daughter relationship Biggrin ).

Then I read it again and realized that many of the things in that email are probably either lies or are exaggerated.....that in a couple of places she is making veiled digs at DH over things that happened in their marriage (which has been over for ten years and they've been divorced for nine of those ten) and that she is absolutely laying a case for her yearly fantasy of full/sole custody. DH will be speaking with SStwinA13 tonight to find out what is real and what is narcissistic fantasy.

So glad I didn't reach out. It would not have done anything positive. I think I can say that I officially no longer have any hope that things can ever be sane with this woman, and I no longer think that I am powerful enough to change that. Or maybe I just know that my power is better used in other places that I can actually affect change in.

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Tue, 02/20/2018 - 8:10am

We respond very differently to that news... I thought about sending a "my condolences" card and the paperwork to put the baby up for adoption...

I thought better of that one for obvious reasons. LMAO

Ispofacto's picture

Submitted by Ispofacto on Tue, 02/20/2018 - 8:46am

Yeah, when our BM had a hysterectomy, I thought about sending her a thank you card from The Rest Of The World.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Submitted by ProbablyAlready... on Tue, 02/20/2018 - 8:47am

LMAO. But seriously. Some people just really shouldn't EVER have kids. EVER.

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/19/2018 - 2:17pm

Any olive branches sent to high conflict women are seen as a sign of weakness and they WILL use it against you later. Remember that.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Mon, 02/19/2018 - 3:15pm

You know my daughter is 12. She turns 13 this week and man oh man what a little snot she is being .

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Mon, 02/19/2018 - 3:19pm

That is when my mild mannered SD started turning a bit bratty and it just got worse from there. She's now 26 and still a brat.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 02/19/2018 - 4:21pm

I know it's hard..your instinct as a decent human being is to want to make someone feel better.. but this is really a case where you would end up reaching out a hand to get it slapped.

My DH's EX contacted me once very early in our relationship because she was having a lot of problems and wanted to know how we got the OSD to behave. I was nice enough to her and told her that we just set consistent expectations.. but this was her reaching out to ME and I was nice about it.. but tried to be fairly non-committal. Eventually we had zero relationship because she was so bitter that her girls could even "like" me.. that I have no interest in speaking to her ever again..lol.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Tue, 02/20/2018 - 12:22am

Oh I've never felt this way about BM, but I do want to call her and say... Now that you and Aergia solved the differences... what did you get her for a flat, oh wait nothing....

thinking of this, I have to find out if she paid Aergia the CO money for her 18th birthday... }:)