He is the parent, why would he not be able to look through his phone?

as long as the kid is a minor, both parents can look through the phone when ever they want, regardless who paid for it.

EVERY right to. I think it's actually suggested you keep an eye on things and make sure the kid is using the technology responsibly...

Absolutely! He can even put a watchdog app on it that BM wouldn't know about that records every text, email, websites- Everything!

The rule in our house is that if either DH or I ask for the phone to look through it, it better be presented immediately. Any funny business results in phone going bye-bye. DH has told BM to feel free to look through it, too, but let him know if something is found/happens so he can shut the phone off.

In your case, if the kids won't unlock it and won't let DH loom through it, then it either doesn't come with them into your home or it gets confiscated immediately. If BM throws a fit, let her send the cops over and your DH can hand the phones over to them to return to her (provided they even listen to her). She has ZERO power over that phone in your house even if she owns it.

This is why SD's cell phone isn't allowed in our home. She instructed SD that it was her (BM's) property and that we couldn't touch it and that the passcode could not be shared with us.

We tried to let the passcode thing go, but the phone was taken away for inappropriate behavior when she popped out with the BM's property bit. When she did, we dropped it off at BM's home and explained to SD(and to BM via OFW) that it was not to come to our home again. Turns out that BM was not only corresponding with SD incessantly to interrupt DH's parenting time, she was also using it to track her movements.

My SO goes through the skids phone that their mother pays for. If he was told he wasn't allowed then the phones would not come in to our home.

Yes dh and you have the right to check phones, back packs, luggage, laptops, homework...get my drift.

ALSO dh is well within his rights to refuse acceptance of a cell in his home too OR any item he or you don't want in your house. It doesn't matter if bm bought it or the tooth fairy.

Some parents have had to purchase landlines to accommodate telephone contact. Please remember you home your rules,,,not the exs or kids rules.

At first denying a cell phone in your house given to a minor kid by the ex is a scary thought but when you realize the ex has no rights IN your private home you realize HEY she cant bully us into anything.

** always follow the court order**

PS;About cell phones bought by other parent. BE very careful. Depending on the depths the ex will go to cause problems IN your private home, the ex can say you stole it, broke it, thru it in the trash and demand YOU for payment. Some go as far as taking it into court wanting the Judge OR attorneys to hear YOU took the phone a ex wants you to give it back. EVEN THOUGH you never had it to begin with.

I could not make this stuff up if I tried.

I don't think there is an over all right or wrong answer. I think it's a lot of opinion.

Here's mine and my partner's take on this. It's our job to keep the children safe in our care. Monitoring cellphone use is a reasonable extension of that job. If the children are to have a cellphone to use in our home then we WILL be able to monitor it. If that is not acceptable then they don't have the phone in our home. It's that simple.

There are too many stories of children misusing technology and I will not sit back and just ignore the possibility in our home. That doesn't mean I want unlimited access at every second or intend to act that way BUT if I pick up the phone I had better be able to look over it's content. If I have reason to feel things might be fishing I'd better be allowed to check. A cell phone is not a need or a right. It is a privilege and as such it can be removed if it's use doesn't comply with my rules.

This would apply to any and all children in our home and my partner and I agree on this factor.

All of the children’s phones are visible to all adults in each home. There is no who bought what. My husband gave his son a phone for Christmas and gave his ex all the codes and logins. Hiding things isn’t healthy.

I bought my DS a phone. Before he could take it to my exH house, I had to agree to let exH install all kinds of software on the phone. I dont trust my exH because he is very nosey and tries to dictate how to raise our kids. So ultimately, my son is not allowed to take the phone over there and I talk to him on his dad's house phone. If BM doesnt want you going through the phone then you have the right to ban it in your house.

I understand my exH's reluctance. I had no problem with him going through the phone but I didnt want him installing software so I respect his wishes and the phone stays at my house.