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Trying not to stab myself!!

tankh21's picture

Submitted by tankh21 on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 10:51am

My anxiety is through the roof. I am drinking shots of vodka just to function and trying to stay out of the house as much as I can. OSS has brought his birds over and they make a lot of noise. I told DH that next time he doesn't bring them that it's not our problem he has birds and that BM can take care of them. They not only woke me up but they have been screeching all freaking morning long when I am trying to work. I shouldn't have to drive to my family's house to work just because of these birds!

So OSS will not be bringing these birds back to our house. MIL is also driving me insane. Every boundary I have tried to set has been broken so at this point I really don't know what else to do should I just disengage? DH told her not to put raw chicken in our fridge without a ziploc bag so she argued with him and said that she washed it DH just told her to stop arguing and just put the chicken in the ziploc bag so she did.

So I get up yesterday morning and what do I find a pack of chicken opened not in a ziploc bag. THen she rearranged my kitchen again after she was told not to. I have OCD and it affects my life a lot. I do rituals every day had helps me get through the day and I am unable to do them because of MIL.

I told DH that is really is affecting my mental health and he tells me that she will gone in a week. I told him well it's our house and she is a guest so fix it. I expect this to happen but when I can't do my rituals it really disrupts my life and apparently these individuals do not understand that. I really don't know what else to do that this point it really is not fair that my mental health is being affected like this where I am supposed to feel secure and safe. I also don't think it's fair that I have to leave my own house just to get some piece and quiet and not have anxiety.

MIL's is also very arrogant I think I mean at least she didn't throw anything however, she did tell me that I need to throw away some of my pans. I just looked at her and told that yeah that's not happening. I believe in other things besides god like nature and balance. I also burn a lot of herbs. Apparently I am some kind of devil worshiper because I believe in other things besides god according to MIL.

She also told me that she and teach me how to talk to men and be sexy I mean WHAT THE ****!!! The list goes on! It is all utterly ridiculous and I want to stab myself having to deal with all of this. If anyone has any suggestions to deal with this idiotic crap without me having to leave my house all the time please by all means enlighten me. Vent over for now.

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 10:59am

Tell your SS that if he ever brings his birds back to your place you will set them free. Yes, I know it's not a nice thing to do but I'd be hoping the threat would be enough for him to keep them at his mother's.

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 11:59am

I can identify as I have OCD too.  I don't have rituals but I like things to be just so and that is difficult with visitors present.  Your MIL is being very inappropriate in some of the things she says and does - if it were me I would dang well tell her.   If she called me a devil worshipper for burning herbs I would feel like punching her and would certainly tell her to zip her pie hole.  Rearranging my kitchen - I'm sorry but that is a hanging offence!  

ITB2012's picture

Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 12:58pm

If anyone, including my mother, rearranged my kitchen for me I would get that scary quiet that I get when I'm truly and utterly incensed. Probably the only three words I'd be able to get out without physically hurting the person would be: Put. It. Back.

She'd also get my "I didn't realize a person could be this stupid" look for leaving the raw chicken open in the frig. It took him a while but DH has figured out that look and knows he'd just better step out of the hole he just dug.

At this point I don't care how long she's supposed to be there, your DH has not controlled the situation and she has already overstayed her welcome. Time for a hotel for MIL and time for daytime visits by the skids so they can go to BMs to take care of birds and such.

Dovina's picture

Submitted by Dovina on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 12:01pm

to buy a cat Wink

Seriously, your DH needs to get everyone under control. Your mental health is paramount.

Take good care

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 12:50pm

I would be super tempted to go into her room.. pack her bag.. and set it on the porch... and show her the door.  

At this point, she is doing this because she thinks she can do what she wants.

I would inform her that you have repeatedly asked her to not put raw chicken in the fridge unwrapped and she has done it multiple times.  That she was told she did not have permission to rearrange.. she did it anyway.. she is no longer welcome in your home.  if she wants to see anyone.. it will be done outside the home.

I would absolutely not stand for this.

Steppedonnomore's picture

Submitted by Steppedonnomore on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 1:29pm

Time for MIL to leave.  Not next week - now.  She was told about the chicken and about rearranging things.  She couldn't adhere to those simple requests.  I think it's time to tell DH that either his mother moves to a hotel for the remainder of her visit or you will.

halo1998's picture

Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 1:30pm

as DD says..if mom's yelling its not too bad..if mom is quiet...RUN

I would have told her to put my f*cking shit back where it was.  

Then I would have gone to her room and packed her bag.  

I then would have told my DH...either she goes or I go...pick one. But I am fairly certain you mother will not f*ck you so in CHOOSE WISELY.

 

Ursula's picture

Submitted by Ursula on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 1:36pm

You have to stop letting people walk all over you.  Why the f is a bird coming into your house? You didn't decide to get a bird for those kids.  BM did so she needs to be watching the bird regardless of where the kids are.

As for your MIL, you work and pay for the home and it's time for you to let her know she has officially worn out her welcome in your house.  Next time she wants to come it's a hotel for her.  

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 1:38pm

You are taking control of your home.  If MIL can not control herself. Do not let her in. Change the locks ect.  Do not let the Birds in.  Birds and SS goes back to BM.  If DH saids anything he can go to his mother. That where he wants to be anyway 

ndc's picture

Submitted by ndc on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 2:32pm

The common denominator in all of this is your husband.  If he had the appropriate amount of respect and regard for you, the birds would be gone and your MIL would be dealt with.  As it is, you're just going to have to suffer because your husband doesn't care enough about you to get his mess under control.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Mon, 07/20/2020 - 7:16pm

This has nothing to do with your OCD.  Your MIL and SS are out of ine and your DH is taking the easy route of doing nothing and hoping it will all go away on its own.

Your MIL is claiming your home as her territory, similar to a strange dog coming into your home and peeing on your furniture.  She's been told several times not to place chicken in the refrigerator uncovered but she insists on doing it anyway.  Calmly but firmly inform your MIL that this is your home and you decide what goes in your refrigerator.

Your SS is making rules for your home and claiming territory with the bird cages.  Place them in the garage or outside.  Calmly but firmly inform your SS his birds are not welcome in your home without prior approval from you.

Calmly but firmly inform your DH that he is to support you as a husband or he can pack his bags and move in with his mother and SS.

Believe me - I've been through this numerous times with my SD and her Husband, and I let it go for WAY too long.  Nip it in the bud now.