Hello (again) everybody! It’s been a little over 2 years since I actually got on here (life happens) but I wanted to come back because it was always so helpful to vent in a safe environment in the past. Re-introduction to our Crew:
Hubby works as a sous-chef at a fancy pants place, we’ve been married for a little over 4 years. He came with his son who I love and adore as if he were my own. We also have a soon to be 2 year old son affectionately known as “Biddy” and another boy on the way who we call “Bump” – I’m completely outnumbered by males but I love it. I work in the Mental Health field and love my job to pieces (found out on maternity leave with BS that I am NOT cut out to be a stay at home mom and you women who are are freaking WARRIORS!).

Hubby was 15 when he and BM (18 at the time) conceived and they were a very short lived relationship seeing as how she moved out of state shortly after with no contact information given. Flash forward 8 years and she suddenly wants Hubby (more specifically his money) involved. Hubby jumps at the chance, picks up everything and moves out of state to live with them on their couch for 6 months to get to know his son and pay all her bills. The initial plan was to see if things would work out between Hubby and BM but they both knew pretty much immediately that wasn’t going to work – zero attraction to her crazy ass. He was there only for their son. 6 months or so pass and her other man gets out of jail and moves back in so Hubs has got to go (he’s ruining her delusion of a perfect little family) so Hubs moves out but not back to Cali like she wanted. He stays close – he and his son have bonded and he’s not going anywhere. Hubby and I met shortly after, and with some help from my college roommates dad, we get his Rights established so he’s not paying her over half his income to see him for a couple of hours every other month or so when she feels like renting out her kid.

We never missed a weekend or chance to spend as much time with SS as possible, never behind on CS, never missed a school event (that we were able to find out about), and it drove BM CRAZY. He’s never been taught a good routine and she constantly moved him from school to school (especially when we would become active at his schools). In the past 4 years alone, he has attended 9 different schools. Last year he was failing everything, getting into fights, having suicidal and homicidal thoughts, and missing so much school we were shocked she hadn’t gotten Truancy charges. After talking with him (right after he turned 13) we asked him if he would be open to coming to live with us for the coming school year (this year) and he jumped all over it. We thought his mom would put up a fight but she really didn’t. She stated it would be “trial basis” and so, at the end of the summer, he came to live with us. She tried to back out of the plan at one point but all it took was us saying “If that’s how you feel, we’ll see you in court” for her to conveniently be back on board. She likes the deal because we didn’t go to court so she’s still getting paid CS even though he’s been living with us full time. We plan on taking her to court in a few months to make the change permanent. With us, he has not missed a single day of school, he’s involved in multiple extra-curricular activities, he has made all A’s and B’s, and HAD A FRIEND COME OVER TO THE HOUSE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE last weekend (his mom never wanted anyone to see how horrible her home was). He’s so incredibly happy and tells us all the time that he never wants to go back to living with his mom full time. He goes to her every 2nd and 4th weekend and we’ve kept the same holiday schedule as in our original order and that’s more than enough for him right now.

She has A LOT going on right now and I’ll get into all that mess at a later time. But as far as our household: We can’t wait to make him being there full time official. We don’t want to take her to court before the end of the school year for fear she’s going to pull him out of school and undo all the progress he’s made here.