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Baby On The Way!

TheBonusMom's picture

Submitted by TheBonusMom on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 5:57pm

Well after nearly 2 years of trying, I'm expecting my first biological bundle of joy! I have a absolutely wonderful SS11 - he's already a great big brother to his BM's other son (his half brother) so I'm not too worried about that.

Of course BM has repeatedly told him that as soon as his dad and I start having our own kids, we're going to forget all about him and other such nonsense so I want to approach the big reveal to him with caution. I'm 8 weeks now and hubby is chomping at the bit to tell him but I got him to agree to wait until I hit that 12 week mark (plus we'll have the kiddo for a month at that point so plenty of time to ease him into the idea before he goes back to his mom's).

How did you guys approach the baby conversation with your other kids?

Comments

Heregoesnothing's picture

Submitted by Heregoesnothing on Thu, 06/18/2015 - 6:41pm

First off, congratulations!!! SS was almost 4 when I got pregnant. We told him at about 12 weeks, we worried about him telling BM ( she had post partum psychosis, wanted to kill SS and DH) just didn't want her filling his head with nonsense. He told her at about 20 weeks.so we lied about when baby was due, she assumed SS told immediately, she thought summer, baby born in March. she didn't see me for months. Never saw me after 3 or four months. She told him she was pregnant this past Christmas morning and he told us immediately. He was a little over 6. (She had a misscarriage a few weeks later, late in her second trimester...she then went to New Orleans for Mardi gras and to spread the ashes about 2weeks later, crazy lady) we have custody, she has EOWE...when she wants to show up. She's currently in a Buddhist monastery with a shaved head for the past month...I couldn't make it up if I tried,

It sounds like your SS is a nice kid. I do suggest waiting until 12 weeks even longer if you think BM is going to mess wIth his head... So she won't figure out due date,,,But I would also reassure him that he won't be forgotten.

TheBonusMom's picture

Submitted by TheBonusMom on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 1:34pm

I do believe that he will be excited but I'm not naive enough to think he's also not going to have anxiety and other issues as well. Just like any older sibling.

TheBonusMom's picture

Submitted by TheBonusMom on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 1:38pm

Major Humongo THANKS in return!

And here are some happy thoughts and good vibes for future bio plans Smile

TheBonusMom's picture

Submitted by TheBonusMom on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 1:41pm

We want to do it as a family -- less division even from the start. I don't want SS to feel or think that I didn't want to be a part of telling him. We have such a good relationship and I don't want to jeopardize that. Hubby will be taking the lead on the conversation but I'm definitely going to be there. Hubby plans on them having some one on one time to discuss it man to man after that for sure though.

TheBonusMom's picture

Submitted by TheBonusMom on Fri, 06/19/2015 - 1:43pm

Thank you!

And that's exactly what we told him when he first mentioned her saying stuff like that to him. That BM didn't start loving him any less when his brother entered the picture. It adds MORE love to the family! You're right. We do need to address the issue with BM too. Thanks for that advice - we try to choose our battles with her but this one is DEFINITELY worth the trouble.