KARMA the gift that keeps on giving! Warning Lesson Learned Ahead.

Tis the Season! Warning: Karma Comes Year Around

I admit I am less than proficient in buying the perfect gift for people…especially for anyone outside of immediate circle. My family knows that I shop on Thanksgiving weekend, a traditional mad scramble to get it all done, handed down from my mother. I have a detailed list and a plan of attack. I will shop until I drop and get it all over in 72 hours, so I can enjoy the holiday season and not spend every weekend until Christmas shopping and wrapping for our huge family. Because let’s face it, I work 60 hours a week, and my idea of wrapping is breaking out the Sunday comics or better yet let me use the bike size Christmas sack and shove their haul all into one compact presentation. I mean come on, it all ends up in the landfill anyhow. Do you realize how much $$ is wasted on wrapping paper, boxes and bows? My family alone gives the 3M company their Christmas bonus via our tape consumption.

My husband and I have been married for quite a few years now. But, the first four years of our marriage I spent stressed out driven by the order to have the same number of gifts for each child with the same amount spent on each. Christmas isn’t about the number of gifts under the tree and it isn’t about the cost, but to my husband he wanted equality. Please do not get me wrong, it is not fair to go all Apple on one child and give the next a pocket acer. But, it was ridiculous task to think I could blend six kids Christmas wishes [Ages 21 to 8] into 12 equal gifts of cost. I spent more time making sure everyone was equal and accounted for that I dreaded the holidays. I did it the best of my ability because I wanted for all of our children to feel equal and because it was the way my husband’s family did things. Then came the Christmas from hell, one coup de resistance to push me over the edge and forever alter my chaos coma of Christmas.

Several years ago, while everyone was opening gifts and snacking on the Christmas confections, my dear, sweet, label driven, aristocratic stepsons had an epic mental breakdown. In front of our entire family, I was shamed for the gifts they were given. The jeans were not the right cut, the hoodies were in the wrong color/brand, the socks were too generic, and Xbox games I bought didn’t have all the features. Oh, I brought all the items on their list, from the right stores, but it was all wrong. Instead of just returning or saying thank you, I was put on notice repeatedly throughout the day how awful these gifts were and I loved my kids more because they got what they wanted and how had ruined their Christmas. I didn’t engage, I mean seriously what would that do? I could have coded blue, donned tinselmy nose hairs and had my mouth hung open dispersing hundred dollar bills …..nothing would have changed the fact that his kids were spoiled brats and were only trying to cause trouble. I simply told my husband, I was done buying gifts for his children…birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc. And, oh how liberality…the beauty of this temper tantrum I reflect upon it fondly.

See my husband is a practical man. His eyes grow wide when he sees a pair of Wrangler Blue Jeans on Black Friday for ten bucks because to him that is a great deal, and who doesn’t love a pair of Wranglers? Oh let’s see…his narcissist, label ridden, prima donnas! They would rather die than wear those Wranglers and my husband would never spend $60-80 on a pair of jeans in their brand of choice. So guess what happened? My husband true to word, handles all of the Christmas shopping for his four kids. Some of the best ones yet have been the 20 bass fishing lures and fishing poles in the middle of the arctic freeze, lures and poles great for summer but not for Christmas. The time when they asked for hoodies and sweats, he brought them hoodies and sweats, a pair of black, grey, green and red everlasting Russell at $6.00 a piece. And, the jeans, oh they didn’t like the Wranglers, so he bought them a no name brand in boot cut. Epic-ally it was two Christmas’s ago when they didn’t give him any ideas so it was tools , jumper cables and tire gauges for three boys who never took a shop class, have zero interest in mechanics, and the only time they have been on a tractor is to capture a great selfie.

Each Christmas, I early await the theme of their gifts – I heard rumblings this year of them asking for gift cards.
My SKIDS used to get the things they “wanted” when I shopped, now they get the things their father feels they need more than their wants. To this day, we still have a limit amount for each “child.” He shops for his and I shop for mine. We save our receipts and make a list of what we purchased. I have ZERO responsibility in purchasing my SKIDS gifts and I do not have wrap them either. I put all of the responsibility on my husband.

Yes, it is evil to giggle at Christmas, I am probably going to hell for feeling vindicated. But, the less responsibility I have to my SKIDs the better my life becomes. I feel like a little devil troll waiting to see the “shocked” look on their faces when they open each present. Part of me feels bad, but the other part of me feels this is one lesson in life they are reminded of each year and I didn’t have to flip my shit to make it happen.

Nice things don’t always come in pretty boxes and bows.

StepMat789's blog
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Perfect.

My Mom-and we have our share

My Mom-and we have our share of differences and problems pours her heart into Christmas each year despite being of very limited means. She will work over time to make sure that we get what we want and I'm 28.

My (step) sister got a Kitchen Aid from her really rich aunt for her wedding this past summer. When we went over to see her before the wedding I jokingly said "Hey! Who gave you that?!?! I need to invite them to my wedding when I get married!" Then I drooled over it like guys do foreign cars. We talked about the attachments and I made a point to let her know that when she uses it I want to come over at watch-because those things are SOOOO cool-eventually I will save $400 to buy one and I want to know what to get, what attachments are worth the $50-100 which ones are not. Plus, the thing is mint blue which is like my favorite color. And I'm not getting married anytime soon because A. I like my tax return and B. I don't have anywhere near the amount of money to host that kind of shindig (we have a ton of close friends and family) so I'll need to buy one.

My mother is now dead set on buying me a f*ing kitchen aid. Now this is not an item I will die without. In fact it's really just a financial goal, that someday I will be able to guilt free-be able to purchase something like this for myself. It was by NO MEANS a hint to anyone, that for some reason it's not fair that she got one and I didn't.

Well that's not how it's being made out by my sister and my step dad. A girl cannot be excited for someone else and want to watch them play with their new toy without an ulterior motive-because that's the game my sister plays with my parents. When my step dad co-signed for my car some years ago-he was a POS to my (step) sister who he wouldn't co sign for because she was not making responsible choices.

Despite what this has turned into, I know her intention is completely pure because she lives for this stuff-as do you. YOUR children will appreciate your efforts forever and a day I guarantee it. Meanwhile your Skids will have forever to wish they hadn't burned that bridge while they expand their fishing lure collection. Go you!

Perception is always the

Perception is always the killer. That Kitchen Aid blender will mean more coming from your mother than it very will coming from a wedding gift.

It certainly will but I'm

It certainly will but I'm hoping I can convince her that its unnecessary and she doesn't have to put herself out.

Because if she does it for me-my sisters will expect the same and out just snowballs.

Do they rage on your DH about

Do they rage on your DH about the gifts not being the "right" ones?

Small comments, but no temper

Small comments, but no temper tantrums. They know where the $$ comes from for their cell phones, cars, housing, and food.

Isn't that a pi$$er? What

Isn't that a pi$$er? What gave them the feeling they had the right to pitch a temper tantrum? And why didn't your DH cut them off at the knees? You should have gathered it all up, returned it, and splurged on yourself.

I used to do all the shopping

I used to do all the shopping for the adult skids and then the grandskids when they were born. OSD42 always gave her father credit; I heard her more than once tell people "it was a gift from my dad." When DH told her that I picked them out and she should give me credit, she told him that everyone knows the female picks out the presents.

It was just too painful for her to give me credit for anything good, and then she told her father that I was not family, so I obliged her and removed myself from anything to do with her, including the gift giving process. DH handles all of it and it is not his strength! Last year his grandchildren received $50 gift cards to Walmart. As hoity toity as OSD42 is, I am certain those kids have never been in Walmart. This year for their birthdays they received Visa gift cards. There should be no doubt I am out of the gift giving business for unappreciative spoiled brats.

Prior to my blended family, I

Prior to my blended family, I would have never given a gift card to my child. But, honestly now, why not? In 10 years all of our kids will have families of their own. We could not possibly afford to spend what we spend now on everyone and their families. A $50.00 gift card is a nice gift.

See there is a lot of perks to the husband taking over for his kids!

oh, last year I stopped with

oh, last year I stopped with much gift giving due to complaining by SDs two years ago.
I was pretty horrified by the behavior before, during, and after the holiday.

So they get one gift from me (usually PJs at a reasonable price) and a gift certificate.
DH helps me get stocking stuffers and those are SUPER cheap so no issue there.

It's on DH for everything else. The SDs make a list from an idea I got from ST: one thing you want, one you need, one you can wear and one you can read (or music/media/art). Then the lists get handed to DH. He totally over-spends and it's all last minute. I don't remind him or help him buy. I will help him wrap IF he helps me at the same time.

This year I am not helping put up the decorations. I'm taking MY ornaments out so they can't be used because invariably they get broken from mishandling and a lot of them are from my grandmother. SD11 broke TWO of her hand-made ones last year from just being stupid when I told her to be careful. I was so PO'd. DH can manage the tree and decorations.

I'm also out of helping with holiday dinner and any treats due to last year's fiasco. NO more from Cover. I will make one batch (without SDs) of my best cookies and those will be distributed at work and a small amount left for me. No one else in the house eats them for some unknown reason (spritz!!!).

I tend to work A LOT over that holiday week. There's a lot of people out, I take Thanksgiving week off instead, and it's still busy for our office. }:) Which is actually mostly true.

The SDs are not with us over Thanksgiving - BM wanted Thanksgiving (she usually only takes them for three extra days, not the whole week) and gave DH Xmas week (actually a total of 1.5 weeks) then they are with her for New Years.

I find this to be quite

I find this to be quite hilarious! Good for you }:) . Honestly, they were not taught to be gracious, and this is the result. Your dh is very funny with his choice of gifts, and that's what they deserve! So many teens and young adults feel that they are entitled to gifts from everyone, and do not even need to say thank you! The world will be a difficult place for them.

My SD is a nice girl, but after two years of trying very hard to get gifts she would love, and then never seeing or hearing of them again (either they ended up in the back of a closet, BM took and wore or sold them), I let her dad buy for her as well. I don't concern myself with what the gifts are- the only thing that bothered me was his taking cookies that someone else gave us to build up her load of gifts, and when he used to actually deliver the gifts to BM's so that she'd have more under her tree...that hopefully stopped, but I don't really care.

Oh what a great Holiday Story

Oh what a great Holiday Story to make my crappy day a bit brighter! I LOVE IT!!!

And I too have refused to buy anymore gifts for my ungrateful SS's. They never appreciated anything I ever got them so I stopped getting them anything at all. Left it all up to DH. Interestingly enough...DH doesn't spend a fraction on them that I did. And he waits until the last minute to shop while having zero idea what to buy.

You got the best gift of all....freedom from dealing with their Christmas!!!

Since my SS32 and his Baby

Since my SS32 and his Baby Mamma (of their 2 year old) ate all of our food and managed to drink 6 liters of our alcohol and that they ransacked my home I do not give a shit if they eat shit and die.

Not one penny of my money will EVER go to pay for their wants or needs.

GREAT STORY Sure wish Karma

GREAT STORY

Sure wish Karma would show itself for our situation. we have been waiting for a very VERY long time.

Happy Holidays OP