I wish SS's school was like this. I don't know what BM told the secretary but she treats me like a doormat. I had to tell her if she was going to keep removing SO from the school website, she should be prepared to tell a Judge why she is doing it. How about that?! It never happened again.

LOL, good for the teacher! BM just showed her true colors to the teacher also.

That's great that they don't play the BM games.

The skids schools don't even know what BM looks like. When DH got custody SS's principal admitted that he didn't even know who she was. The skids moved in with us in April and had been in those schools for several months. (moved back to our town in the middle of the school year)

They know I'm the stepmom. Both principals ended up with a horrible habit of contacting me instead of DH. I was always with DH at enrollment, open house, pt conf, plays, ect. Two years of that and I called both schools. They've both been instructed to contact DH first, and me only if he can't be reached. They don't even have BM's info. In the files they have me listed under mom with step mom in quotations.

Meth ex and grandhag always told SD that my children and I were not her family! And that her half brother was her only other sibling..even thought my daughter is her half sister. We had custody of SD from the time she was 10 and on...one time grandhag showed up at our house with a cop demanding her parental rights (meth ex was in jail yet again, or maybe it was rehab) I asked her to show us her "court paperwork" showing her alleged parental rights. She wouldn't even look at me and told me to stay out of her business I was nobody who needed to know my place. I like to think I showed great restraint by only telling her to get off our property or I would have the cop she brought with her arrest her for trespassing.

That happened to me. DH wanted me to go with him to a separate parent conference from BM. I knew there would be fireworks, but went to support my husband. BM had a fit - "how dare you bring some girl you're dating to a parent conference." "She's not family." "You're so disrespectful to me as a mother." DH and I were a month from getting married and I work in education, so he wanted me to be there to help him. Also, her "husband" (who she's not actually legally married to) has been going to parent conferences since both he and BM were still legally married to other people, but living together.

Some teachers have been good and have made sure DH was included. Others have not.

It doesn't surprise me that the teacher/school shut BM down. Kids go to school to learn and parents get invited t come occasionally for programs and activities.

Their note to the homes pretty well made that clear, though some will be more politically correct than others in how it's stated. "Families" are generally the word used in my area rather than "parents". Because a child's homelife is made up in a variety of ways these days. "Families" leaves the door open for an adult involved in the child's life is welcome. Whether that adult happens to be Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, SF, SM, same sex partner, ect. or actually the biological parents (BM and/or Dad).

School properly handled the spout off from BM. During an activity is absolutely no time for school to stop and try to handle an angry parent throwing a fit that a father brought his SO. Take it outside folks, this ain't the time or place for your jealously and immaturity.

I don't agree that a teacher should talk to a child/student abut how Dad's SO is "sort of a Mom". Nope, you are either SM or Dad's partner. Yes, you might do some things that a mother also does but the "sorta Mom" thing can leave the kid running home and announcing to BM "teacher says Troll is like you". Yeah, not good. Toss another log on a HC parent's fire.

Frankly, unless it is a very open activity/program that means to invite any and all family, you may want to limit the times you d participate. Example, school is asking for room parent to help host the classroom's Valentine's Day party. And that means usually several parents sign up to volunteer to lead games, bring a craft project, hand out treats. Those are the times , IMO, BM or Dad volunteer if one of them want to an are off to do so. I don't believe BM should go to sign up only to find out you already did. The events I'm talking about have limited allowed volunteers. That's why Mom OR Dad , not both (as it cuts out another's child from having room for their parent to volunteer). It's also why I say, BM instead of you if BM can and wants to volunteer.

On the otherhand, if class is looking for a family volunteer for a class student party and BM can't or doesn't want to help, no reason SM can't or shouldn't.

If not already, school should be holding their Open House night pretty soon. If you and Dad attend, I'm sure you'll get the stink eye for going to that from BM. Here, in October are the Parent/Teacher conferences. You'll see lots of blogs/forum post on those. Dad will have to decide how he handles P/T conference. Whether he and BM attend one at same time or Dad schedules his own (most teachers will do individual if time permits). If BM and Dad have only one scheduled for same time, if I were you I'd sit out in the hall or car. If Dad schedules his own appointment , BM can't b*tch if you attend.

Some SM's go to the conferences (on a Dad scheduled one) because she has the kids 50/50 in the home and helps with homework. Nothing wrong with that.

It's a BM issue. BioHo has made it a point to make sure Mr. Pinhead (her cuckolded husband) is front and center for skid stuff every chance she gets. In the past (when the skids were younger), she would purposely *forget* to tell DH about events because she knew he needed to know in advance. Once the skids were older and told DH about things, 'Ho could no longer pull that caca.

I'm good enough to be a skid-sitter or skid-taxi, but I apparently have no name. BioHo refers to me as "SHE". I don't answer to "SHE", beeyotch. You can call me Mrs. DHLastName. }:)

With the divorce rate being 50% in the US most teachers are used to this kind of thing. So glad the teacher spoke up and set things straight. If your step kids are alright with you being there who cares what BM says or does. Some of these BM's just can not move on after divorce. They want to make their ex husband's life miserable. Mine used to do the same thing. I am glad that you feel like you can now post something and not be be worried about negative comments.

Stepmoms are MOMS. It's not just some word with no backing. Some lean into the role in a more mothering way than others but none of it is bad. I like bonus mom personally. Although I realize there are exceptions most demons do not run around saying 'I popped this kid out, hes my property' as I see a lot of bio parents acting like children are their property instead of people. We are extra parental figures who love, educate and nurture as much as we can while constantly trying not to step on toes and sometimes it feels like there are toes everywhere. I feel you are doing everything right. I am proud to have a step child. And yes that does make him a child of mine without taking anything away from anyone else. I also get pushed out if the picture unless BM needs me and then it's all good and fine and I can be involved in whatever. I caught DH telling her off for trying to get me involved I pickup/dropoffs when if he needs me to be involved it's the end of the world. I know he stands up for me but it's always nice to hear

That's kind of something we're struggling with now. SS started school last week... and although it's at the same place he was going to daycare, it's in a different wing, if you will... so the teachers aren't the same as the people who were in charge of him before... and I've been doing some occasional pickup/drop offs, since DH sometimes has to work late and doesn't always know until 4pm. Since I get off between 3 and 3:30, and SS needs to be picked up by 5, I'll pick him up at the school if DH has to work late, because otherwise DH will have to pay 10$ for every 5 minutes. Brutal.

Anyway, the first time I got there, I was asked who I was there for before SS saw me... and they called out to him "SS, your mom is here!" and SS didn't said anything... I was a little taken aback so I didn't say anything... he ran up and hugged me then went off to get his bag etc... the second time, he saw me before I signed in... I heard him say my mom's here and ran up to me. When he went back to get his stuff, I told the lady at the sign in that I'm actually his step-mom, and that I didn't want to create any issues if the actual mom ever came by... and she said well then you must both be mom because he talks about you and his siblings all the time...

I don't really care whether SS calls me mom or not, everyone else in the darn house does, even DH, when he's telling the animals to go see mom... and a couple of my kids' friends when they're over... mom2... lol SS doesn't generally call me mom... but he flip flops. He starts off with Mom, then goes with Secret or back and forth... kind of like me when I'm mad at my kdis and go through the entire list before saying the right name...

I'm not trying to take BM's place... but I'll take the position SS puts me in.

Sounds like BM just broadcast to the world how much of a jealous and petty person she is. The fact that she honestly expected the school staff to throw you out of the event speaks as to how out of touch she is.