Child support is due Friday, what will bm do?
There has been no sleep in my house this week and I don't think I have ever been so exhausted before. When one baby cries the other is sleeping and when one sleeps the other cries. Sd gave up on breastfeeding since it's hard and the babies cry so much. She kept asking how to know if they are getting enough. Now that they are on formula they are projectile vomiting everywhere. They have a drs appointment today dh and sd is taking them to. Dh has been home from work the last 2 days. Yes, he has vacation time but I don't feel its fair to use them all on helping sd! We were supposed to go to Europe this Christmas and now he won't have the vacation time to go. Bm usually gets her child support on the 1st of every month and that is 2 days away. What will her boyfriend say when she is $2500 short in cash this month? I love it and I love it twice as much since dh had to buy all the baby stuff for sd.
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I hate to say it... but I
I hate to say it... but I don't think your DH can withhold CS unless he has gone to court to have a change based on the fact that the girl is under his roof.
How about pumping & bottle
How about pumping & bottle feeding?
And yeah... he can't just not pay.
I really feel bad for you.
I really feel bad for you. You really have to sit down and take a look at your life
Your DH will be in arrears if
Your DH will be in arrears if he just stops paying without going through the proper channels. Has he filed anything?
Your husband has to pay CS
Your husband has to pay CS until he goes to court and has custody change.
Depends on what the CO
Depends on what the CO states. In our case the CO states that SO doesn't pay full if the child is with him for 2 weeks. Ontop of that he doesn't pay if the child is no longer a minor and having a kid could be considered enough to say the child is now an adult even more so if she's not going to school.
I agree though get to court asap.
That statement in your CO is
That statement in your CO is not the norm.
For our state the 2 weeks
For our state the 2 weeks reducing CS is thakfully. It's understandable that BM still needs some money to maintain her home but when the kids are with us the extended time all of our basic bills go up while hers go down. The only real time it takes place is during the summer visitation where we have them 6 weeks.
Yeah rent doesn't change but cost of food almost doubles, electric and water bill shoots up, we have to buy extra clothing since we only keep a few outfits and don't expect BM to send any. We also used it to send them to camp one week in the middle to help both of us since he worked nights and was missing sleep while I worked or I was taking PTO to spend more time at home. (That of course was fully my choice.)
I do realize it's not the norm. Our state also does not consider hours spent at different homes whole deciding CS. Child could spend 1 day a month with NCP or 3 days a week and it's the same.
He has an attorney and filed
He has an attorney and filed for a modification and for custody. His attorney said not to pay since we can prove he has sd.
Good! Sounds like DH is being
Good! Sounds like DH is being proactive about the situation. He'll need every cent to help SD and the babies. Any plans set in place about the future of SD and the twins? Are they going to stay in your home indefinitely?
As a mother to twins, the
As a mother to twins, the most helpful advice I received from other multiple parents was to try to "sync" their schedules. By that I mean, if one baby is awake, wake the other, if one is hungry, feed them both. Eventually you will have them on the same schedule. It is hell the first few weeks with one baby, let alone two. I breastfed both and eventually my body was able to produce enough for both. Yes it will seem like she is always feeding in the beginning, and maybe pumping will help her get some rest. But when they are getting a bottle she will need to also pump. That way her body will continue production. The reason they are vomiting may be bc they bottle dispenses milk faster than they were getting before. Try to find nipples with smaller holes.
I know this is hard for you. It is hell to watch someone so ill equipped have children when you are struggling with infertility, I've been there. Just try to take care of your mental health throughout all of this.
The bottle/milk dispensing
The bottle/milk dispensing issue.... My LO is 5 weeks and mainly breast fed. We found some extra slow nipples from tommy tippee that she does very well with. If that isn't it they may need a formula change
I'm willing to bet that BM
I'm willing to bet that BM will come and pack SD and the babies up and bring them back to her house. Does BM even know that your DH filed for modification yet?
if the babies vomit the
if the babies vomit the formula might be to strong for them or totally wrong.. even off.
easy way to test it, when you prick the foil cover and it blows - the formula is off,
if it's to strong use one less spoon of formula..... or slightly boil the formula.
SD should feed them on the same time, she can do one and DH/You can do the other one...
If the babies are vomiting,
If the babies are vomiting, they may have allergies. Have you tried rice-based formula?
Hopefully SD has applied for
Hopefully SD has applied for WIC. WIC has free lactation consultants that could help her breastfeed as long as possible. Save money on formula and help w/the vomiting.
As a mother of twins, I can
As a mother of twins, I can tell you that getting the babies on the same schedule is crucial. When one wakes up to eat, feed that one and then change and put that one back to bed. IMMEDIATELY wake up the other one and do the same.
I bottle fed the Things - it was just so much easier and then others could lend a hand.
Never experienced vomiting...
Enjoy the small victories...
Enjoy the small victories... no more teenage boobs hanging out.