PTSD-type symptoms from skids???
I just posted about a smell and a skid experience becoming so coupled up in my brain that whenever I smell fusty hair I feel absolute disgust and get taken back to the experience of SD dysfunction as if it were yesterday. Anyone else have stimuli that reminds you, viscerally, of skids?
This is what I wrote on the other blog:
"Yes, the freaking smell!!!! Ugh, I literally have PTSD over the stench of SD's hair from when I was pregnant four years back. At first I thought it was my pregnancy-heightened sense of smell but as the summer visit went on the smell of her hair filled the whole freaking house. She never washed her hair, *possibly* a rinse in shower so she stank like a fetid old dog with a skin disease. I would open my bedroom door in the morning and could smell her rank hair as she sat in the living room in the floor below. The couch seat she liked to sit in just stank, DH's truck stank, her bed was more than I could stomach. What really got me was that she came from BM's smelling like that, had just started summer break - how had this not been addressed??? I can't imagine that BM, GBM, teachers, peers etc hadn't noticed and said something. I was disgusted that she was allowed to live that, it was just freaking neglect.
DH was totally embarrassed at first then the stench got him too. He told her to wash her hair and she lied, refused, tantrumed and avoided all summer. It took me over a week to get that stench out when they left. Cleaning. Saging. Airing. Bleaching, Steam Cleaning.
That summer she was struggling with us being pregnant with our first. I understood that. However, she got downright mean and vicious and said some disgusting things that wished harm on the baby. So, her dysfunction and the stomach-turning stench got totally coupled up to the point that every time I smell even slightly fusty hair, I feel total disgust. It's like PTSD."
Any similar experiences?
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Comments
Smells are very evocative
Smells are very evocative things, especially pungent ones! I think you are right about the sweaty scalp/dirty hair combo. It occurred to me that it was also teen hormones being sweated into her hair and scalp over night. Ugh, my skin is crawling as I think about it!
O/T Buffalo!! My son and
O/T Buffalo!! My son and DIL live in Tonawanda! But they staying at the Wichita Falls TX AFB for training right now through the end of July--then headed out for an anniversary trip to Colorado, Mississipi and back up to NY.
My exSD was very filthy among
My exSD was very filthy among other things so I was so disturbed that I had to see a therapist after I left my ex. My therapist says that I had mild case of PTSD (I was in a bad shape because of YSD) my therapist also says that she was surprised I survived stephell that long and I only told her half of what I lived through because it is too embarrassing
Filthy children are pretty
Filthy children are pretty disturbing, even more so than adults sometimes,, mostly because of what it says about the parents. It felt like such a metaphor - SD was just wallowing in negativity/dirt/toxicity emotionally and physically to the point that it was emanating from her like a bad smell, BM let her live like that, in fact she SENT her to us like that with no shame at all, and DH didn't have enough clout to change it.
My SD is 15 and has severe
My SD is 15 and has severe depression and other mental conditions. Getting her to shower can be impossible, but with fathers and daughters - at that age what do they do? If it was my 4 year old BD, I would put her in the bath. But DH feels so uncomfortable now that SD is a teenager. And there's no possible way I'm going to try to make her take a shower.
There's a certain point where parents can't really do anything and it's the kids' responsibility to bathe.
Mine was an adult. That was
Mine was an adult. That was the worst part. She lived with us on and off and then moved in.
PTSD everytime DH mentions a
PTSD everytime DH mentions a skid name. Everytime OSD wants to drop off a GKids photo in my driveway to DH...and try to see our fur babies. The thought of any skid touching my fur babies.
Pieces of mail or junk mail in my mailbox addressed to MSD....reminds me of begging DH not to take her to renew her license using our address when she lived here 'temporarily'. I guess I was the only one out of the loop on that one. She planned to stay as long as she wanted and it was ok cause daddy said so. Gag me. Maybe she planned to run me off.
Parking my car in the garage where she camped out with her cat and mini fridge and microwave for five weeks. Thinking of the rotten potatoes she left here and the dirty litter box, both of which I bagged up and helped her out by placing it in her apartment when we finally got her out. ...by paying her deposit and rent, buying her a used car, etc.
PTSD today while pulling in to the grocery store while DH is going on about how somebody treating to kill someone should be against the law, that the person may have mental issues or whatever and no one knows if they are going to go off on someone. (Stuff with the president brought up this topic). I did not feel like diving into another skid argument by pointing out to him that what he was talking about was exactly what MSD did when she threatened to kill me (in a text to him) if I told anyone where she moved to from here. I told everyone, wrote it on all the mail return to sender with the new address, even called a few places. Oh well DH would not have made the leap of logic that his rant applied to his precious. Yet here it is on my mind at 4:20 am.
Once I heard MSD tell someone over the phone that she hadn't showered in three days. This from a person who worked with elderly at a care facility as a speech therapist. Disgusting. She had greasy bleached hair and laid around in piles of filth. Once when DH went to visit her before she lost her rental he had to change her vacuum canister filter and bag. She didn't know how. Lazy entitled over 30 yr old.
Ok. Sorry the PTSD kicked in for a bit there. There are so many things. Just DH sleeping does it for me sometimes when I remember him sleeping and snoring away during the five week hell, and anytime he keeps bringing up a skid name on a otherwise good day. It is just like stabbing and then punching the wound so it never heals. Just like that. Right now while he is sleeping and I am awake.
Oh and meant to add...can some of you turn a hose on these nasty skids? I meant the outside garden hose or a fire hose? I could not live with such stink. I would have them committed for observation...it is not normal to want to be that dirty. And they would lose everything they own except a toothbrush, bar of soap and one change of clothes. Kids today have everything they want but nothing they need.
Ah yes. Post SKID Traumatic
Ah yes. Post SKID Traumatic Disorder as I call it. The smell of overly "sweet" urine (from a diet of junk and candy), stale french fries, soured chocolate milk, and a type of BO/halitosis from huge-for-their-age unscrubbed skin, teeth and hair.
Even visual cues of discarded candy wrappers on the floor/ground make me shudder.
I think it absolutely DOES
I think it absolutely DOES exist and also from BM's too when they have been very toxic.
I know the hair thing. I am very sensitive to smells (I have FM and it makes you more sensitive to stuff) and even though SS is pretty good with hygiene I regularly smell his hair when I walk past him. Yuk. He says he shampoos it but I don't think he does it properly. Not gonna get too close to fin out lol.
Also, I have been left with a bit of an OCD over the laundry. I wash all my stuff separately. Could not bear to have my undies in the same wash as his.
I do agree having to smell
I do agree having to smell stinky kids can cause some anxiety. We had my skids all last month and OSS is going through puberty but doesn't use deodorant and doesn't wear socks so I am smell the BO when he walks in plus his smelly feet. I just simply tell DH that OSS smells please tell him to take a bath because I don't want that stench in our house. It truly is disgusting and BM babies both of the skids so she probably has to tell both of them to take a bath every day. OSS doesn't have any friends and I am thinking that one reason he doesn't is because he smells bad. DH has to tell him to take a bath otherwise he won't. I cannot smell YSS yet but I know it's going to be the same most likely. They both complain that my dog needs a bath but can't take baths themselves. Being hypocrites just like BM. LOL I have anxiety from smell as well.
Not so much PTSD, but it does
Not so much PTSD, but it does trigger me a tad bit when I catch a glimpse of skid's feet and her long ass toenails. I know darn well skid and MIL go and get their nails done, weekly, while skid is here for the summer - so what gives!
I cannot handle the ungodly sight of toenails that need to be clipped. Like, some serious tree climbing status going on. Freaking gross. :O
Sounds like a case of MIL
Sounds like a case of MIL pays for their toes to get done or does them for the kids. Seems these kids cannot do anything on their own it is truly sad. I am curious what is going to happen when these over coddled kids become adults have to get a job and pay bills like the rest of society. It truly is disgusting.
My thoughts as well. Skid
My thoughts as well.
Skid gets her nails done with BM too, so between MIL and BM I highly doubt there is a healthy balance of doing a little bit of the self care herself. I'm sure skid (almost 11) would scoff at someone if they were to hand her clippers and tell her to use them.
Isn't that a part of personal
Isn't that a part of personal hygiene as well. I was taught how to cut my toenails when I was like 7 or 8 years old. I most certainly think 11 years old is old enough to know what personal hygiene is. LOL
BM's mantra: "Why do it
BM's mantra: "Why do it yourself when you can pay someone else to do it for you?"
Yeah mother of the year
Yeah mother of the year LMAO!!!
Oh I totally agree with the
Oh I totally agree with the PTSD....When Dh and I first moved in together and were married, he was working an hour away and a lot of hours. BM would call DH to see if she could drop the SS's off early to me and DH would then call me to ask (tell) me. I would say NO, I had other plans and he would pull the "you hate my kids" routine.
Then it got to the point he stopped even telling me he agreed for them to come early and they would just show up. It was me against DH and BM. And the whole time the SS's were horrible, rude, nasty spawn who were demanding and acted as if I didn't exist. They would use every opportunity to complain about me and make up things to try and turn DH against me. It was pure hell. It got to the point I would have an anxiety attack every time DH would call on the days we were to have the SS's.
Things have improved dramatically over the years and DH knows better than to have BM drop the kids off without him being here. But there are still times, when I know he will be working late that I will get anxious if he calls me in the late afternoons on kid day.
Yes, I’m repulsed by SS stank
Yes, I’m repulsed by SS stank. And that’s the one thing that’s the worst , his stank hair!!!! Omg. I know this smell. And just think SS went hipster on us. So, he had thick nasty hair on his face too. It got so bad I said I am going to yell and tell him he stanks if he doesn’t stay away.
i never want to smell him again. I’m telling you I went through the same thing. I mean if it persisted I’d start having gag reflexes !!!!!
I think the ptsd I have is,
I think the ptsd I have is, when I see them my heart races fast. I have so much anxiety just seeing them