Now it's framed pictures
Bm drove ss over today to deliver this extra special picture they framed together of dh and ss from their vacation trip. Ss came running in the house startling us and wanted dh to hang it right away. I suggested we hang it over ss's bed which dh did. I told dh enough was enough. I don't want shit from bm in this house. He kept the gun and now this picture. I don't think I'm wrong in saying no more and I told dh to let her know so that ss doesn't get his feelings hurt. Why can't she live her own life and stop meddling in ours?
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Anything that my Dh's
Anything that my Dh's daughter has given him is hanging in the garage. This is OUR home. If he wanted to hang pics of her when the two of them are together that would be ok but random pics from mom's house? Nope.
I'm of the same mentality. If
I'm of the same mentality. If dh and ss picked the picture and framed it, I wouldn't care. Bm picked the picture and framed it for MY HOUSE!! That is not okay!!
I'm sorry I don't understand
I'm sorry I don't understand the problem of a picture of just SS and his dad. Even more so if it's kept in Stepson's room.
Yes it's annoying but you've got to pick your battles and do you want a fight over a picture?
I mean if son came over when he wasn't expected that something. If the vacation was with SS, DH, and BM that's a problem.
Think about if from SS point if veiw. He is happy he got to make a special picture of him and his dad. Sure BM is problay trying to mess with you but that's not what SS sees. He's a kid.
I think that's the case
I think that's the case here... it's pictures of just SS and DH.... but from the trip with BM and DH and SS.
Totally can understand being
Totally can understand being majorly upset about.
So the root of the problem needs to be fixed since it's not the picture but the trip.
How long have you been with
How long have you been with your DH?
OP may need to pick her
OP may need to pick her battles but I see the issue of that BM brought SS over just to bring a special picture over. Am I the only one that sees a problem with that? Why did SS and BM have to drop off the picture at that very moment? Why couldn't SS have brought the picture over the next time of dad's visitation? To me, it seems like BM was just trying to be a pain in the ass!! I certainly have a problem with BM trying to just drop by to bring something that could've waited until dad picked up his kid.
So you "see" my issue!
So you "see" my issue!
Yes exactly that is what I
Yes exactly that is what I would have a problem with not the fact that SS wants to hang a picture in his room. Who cares who it came from as long as BM isn't in the picture. If BM was in the picture I would have a problem with that but a picture of SS and his dad that is ok and it's for the kid. BM shouldn't just be coming by dropping off things like that. She is just trying to interrupt OP's and her DH's life.
Or bm decided she wanted to
Or bm decided she wanted to hang a photo in my house and made it happen.
Why do you blame BM for the
Why do you blame BM for the choices your husband keep making?
You didn't want your husband to go to Disney because mom was going. He went anyway. You blame mom
You didn't want your husband to interact with mom while they were at Disney. He agreed not to. He did anyway. You blame mom
You didn't want your husband to keep the gun. He agreed to give it back. He didn't. You blame mom.
Mom gives your husband a picture. You don't want it in your home. Dad hangs it up anyway. You blame mom.
Clearly, your husband doesn't give a damn about your wants and wishes. YOU HAVE A HUSBAND PROBLEM NOT A BM PROBLEM
It's always easier to blame
It's always easier to blame BM.
Ok let DH and I drop by BM's
Ok let DH and I drop by BM's house unannounced and give SS a picture of DH and him a picture to hang in his room. I guarantee BM will have a cow if DH shows up announced at her house so why the hell would we want her at ours. And BM is so very mature because she has DH's picture in her cell phone as a demon.
Not the same. You'd have to
Not the same. You'd have to drop off a picture of SS and HER.
And again the issue isn't the picture which your focused on. It's she showed up unannounaced. Deal with the real problem. Not
I was commenting on the
I was commenting on the comment above mine. If you look at some of my earlier comments I am in agreement with you.
No Im mixing you up with OP.
No Im mixing you up with OP. I'm sorry.
Just because I'm nosy, how do
Just because I'm nosy, how do you know BM has a demon for DH in her cell? LOL.
Have you put a witch flying on a broom for BM in DH's cell? As long as the boys don't have access to the parents phone, I suppose it is harmless enough. What's his ringtone for her when she calls?
Because she sent DH a screen
Because she sent DH a screen shot one time of their text conversations a few months back because they were arguing over something and the picture was of a demon with DH's name by it. Apparently she didn't realize that DH would see it in the screen shot I guess. DH just laughing about it because she is the one that cheated on him and lies about everything. He has her as just X in his phone not pictures or special ringtones. The only reason why I call her the Grendel or Lucifer's Keeper was because she had that picture of a demon as DH in her phone.
I will clearify. Coming over
I will clearify.
Coming over unannounced is a broken leg.
The picture is pain.
You are trying to take pain medication when you need to put a cast on.
You are redirecting your frustration to something you feel you can control rather then dealing with the real problem which is going to be much harder to fix and really you don't have the power to. Your DH needs to deal with the bigger issue rather than you trying to handle the small stuff.
You can refuse to let SS jeep the picture in the house hut that doesn't stop BM from just coming over. Focus on the real problem.
So your husband can not have
So your husband can not have a framed photo of him and his son in his home unless it is put in the child's bedroom?
Why don't you just ban the kid to the kid's bedroom so you can pretend kid doesn't exist either? I seriously hope there are no photos hanging or sitting in your home of just your husband and your joint daughter, or if so, it must stay in the daughter's bedroom.
Had you said BM was in the photo, fine, kid's room only...but this is a father with his son. You're getting ridiculous. My SS drove all the way up (over eight hours one way)to have pictures took with his father a couple weeks ago. Shall I ban the photos and not let my husband have one anywhere in the house, because, uh, SS doesn't have a bedroom here?
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Where did you go, Tuff? I did
Where did you go, Tuff? I did read before it poofed, there wasn't anything in it wrong. Just your take, which is fine.
I have plenty of pictures of
I have plenty of pictures of dh and ss up around the house and one for his desk. I just don't like that bm picked a picture and framed it with the expectation of hanging it in MY house. Had ss said he liked a picture and wanted to hang it I would have zero problem with that!
Part of this is that it isn't
Part of this is that it isn't just your house.
It's step sons too. Kids get excited about little things. He was happy to make a picture of him and dad. Sure maybe BM didn't do it just out of the kindness of her heart and your fine to encourage son to put it in his room. I would also but just because I don't like a bunch of the kids crafts cluttering the living room.
If you try to make it where step son can't bring anything over then you make him feel not welcomed. Don't treat the picture like it's from BM. How would you treat it if he made it at school?
How do you know your SS
How do you know your SS didn't tell his mother which picture he wanted to give his dad? If you have an issue with frame, just switch the darn thing.
I get what you are saying
I get what you are saying imaSmom. The issue is BM not the picture I think.
the picture does have to do
the picture does have to do with BM... given the drama that happened because BM was on this trip with SS and DH... OP might feel like this is another dig at SM - as in - here's a permanent reminder of the trip I took with your husband... which you now have to have in your home...naa naaa....
I can see how it could create negative feelings.
But in the end, the pictures are of SS and his dad, and are hung in SS's room... best to let it go.
Then the issue of the trip
Then the issue of the trip needs to be fixed. Not the picture. This is redirecting the problem and will only backfire. Deal with the real issue not the picture which is already being restricted to the child's room. It's his room right let him have the stuff he brings over there.
Also if the issue is she came over unexpected then OP has all rights to be bothered but again the problem isn't the picture.
Ok I didn't realize OP's DH
Ok I didn't realize OP's DH was the main problem. I didn't read her blog entries.
^^^This. What Granny said.
^^^This. What Granny said. OP's frustration is understandable. The photo content (DH and son) and the placement of said photo (in kid's room) are the least of it. It's BM's skank little fingers on everything that is vexing OP. I would be pixxed off too.
Then OP needs to take care of
Then OP needs to take care of the real problem because just banning son from bring stuff isn't going to stop BM from randomly dropping by or make DH see that he was wrong to go on the trip.
It's not solving the real issue and is only creating hostility in the home. OP has every right to be upset about the big issues but picking a battle over a picture doesn't help.
I'm with Granny and
I'm with Granny and SuperJew....
DH is the problem not BM...... I would be worried that those two are making up, DH is sending the vibes out and BM is falling for it...
Good morning, my favorite
Good morning, my favorite Martian!!
I'm gonna go against the grain on this one. I think OP biggest problem is OP.
I agree with you on this one,
I agree with you on this one, she's way to jealous.... but then I think.....
does she have a reason feeling the way and over reacting like she does??
I think all too often on this
I think all too often on this site we get caught up in whether or not someone has a "right" to be upset about something. Then we engage in a debate regarding whether or not the OP has the right to be upset.
Fact of the matter is-OP is upset by BM's actions. That is the beginning and the end of that. You can validate or invalidate it, that isn't going to change her FEELINGS on the matter.
Laney-here's the deal. You are upset about the trip-which is understandable. You are upset that BM is basically hand delivering a memento of this incredibly difficult situation right to your door step for DH to hang up and you to look at every day.
Basically, you feel like it's BM's way of making sure you have a constant reminder of the "that time when DH totally disregarded you" for you too oogle at everday. Kind of like a dog peeing on a hydrant.
Except, you have a ring on your finger and she does not. Men do not marry women "just because".
So here is my advice for you-SS is not going to see the situation as you do. Let him off the hook. DH may not even see it that way because he himself has never stood where you are standing.
IF in fact BM is trying to take a big ol' p*ss on your hydrant, don't fly off the handle and do her dirty work for her. If you let this get to you, fight with DH about it, or experience any more misery over this-the b*tch wins.
DO NOT LET HER WIN.
You are worthy.
You are valued.
You are important.
If by no one else, you need to know these things about yourself and work on building some self confidence about what it is you bring to the table. Then, and only then, will you rob this ho of her ability to get under your skin like this. But it's a choice that YOU and YOU alone can make. Don't be threated by old news.
Granny you know I'm always
Granny you know I'm always down for a nut punt.
It's always the DH who is the
It's always the DH who is the problem. My DH has been great in accepting that his worthless POS son will NEVER be acknowledged as even existing in my life - but it's still his fault that the ahole was even born. }:)