Listen to what he is telling you. He's telling you right now that he doesn't care how you feel about this, he will allow BM to cross boundaries for the sake of making their child happy and you get no say in it. If you can't accept that then you need to start an exit strategy.

So, what is the biggest hurt? That you missed having fun with him? That he put on a good act so no one realized he didn't like his EX.. for the sake of his son? That you see the pictures on social media?

Like other's have said. Get off social media. It's like a guy that goes to the doctor and says it hurts when he drops a hammer on his big toe. Doctor will tell him to stop dropping that hammer!

You missed a fun trip to Disney. Next time, go with him. Then SS would have a smiling picture of ALL of you for his FB.

You can't really blame your DH for putting on a good act for his son. He also can't control BM and where she posts pictures. Yes, BM may have ulterior motives.. but none of you can really control her. It's really unrealistic for us to expect our husbands to "put BM in her place" in things like this.

Boundaries that can be controlled are things like allowing her in your home or making her stick to the CO.

Your dh is telling you that your opinion doesn't matter. That he is okay with BMs games, that he is okay with hurting you. That he is okay with having two women fighting for his inconsiderate ass.

You as a person have to learn to respect yourself. This man is not being considerate of you and the family that you created. I never advise this, but the only way you will heal from this is to leave. Do it for yourself, your sanity, and your child.

" I told dh to tell her to take them down or report them to Facebook and he told me to grow up. "

Why would BM take the photos down just because you demand she does? Report to facebook what? That your DH went on a field trip with his ex and their son and with Dad's permission is posting the photos online? Facebook must remove them because they look happy?

Removing the pictures doesn't make the whole thing go away and erase the fact they all went on a field trip, had fun, and looked happy doing it.

Knock it off about the photos. The pics will cease bothering you when you stop looking at them. You were told to get off facebook last week.

I'm actually surprised you didn't tell *us* that BM and DH posed together for happy couple pics so their son could take pics and have a few of just Mom and Dad. By the way, were these all close up selfie pics or did someone take all these happy family pics for them? Just seems strange that someone supposedly chaperoning a group of kids found so much time to step aside and focus on only the three of them.

some husbands feel perfectly happy living a lie for the sake of the skids.

when skids mother kicked them out of the house when they turned 18 they landed at our house. bm did not give a penny to their upkeep and dh paid for their college and board. needless to say i paid for the food and utilities unappreciated.

well skids got a hold of the picture albums of skids as small children. bm did not take them with her when she left to marry her lover.

the skids now adults started looking at the photos and dreamed up some kind of fantasy about their parents and seeing me as the enemy or homewrecker that needed to be driven out. lol! i started dating dh three years after he divorced. in reality bm was the home wrecker because she cheated with a married ma who them divorced his wife to marry bm.

I would be pissed at my husband for misleading me about what "ignoring BM" means. I'd be pissed at him for trying to marginalize my feelings instead of working with me to come up with a game plan for when BM does this again. I'd be pissed he thinks using the excuse "for his son" is the be all end all to why I have to suck it up for something that makes me very uncomfortable.

BUT I wouldn't be pissed at BM because she's just a trashy, desperate ho.

It sounds like there are way bigger issues in this marriage than BM playing tricks (because that's to be expected) and those are things that need to be examined closely.

Stop looking. They are just pictures. Pictures of a proud mother and father, not a happy husband and wife.

Those pictures were in the past even as they were being taken. Let it go and focus on the here and now. How do you get past the anger? Stop being angry. That's all you need to do. Just stop.

Wait one freaking minute.. is this the guy that went on a trip with his ex? This would be grounds for divorce if it were me. Seriously your husband will never place you first. Your marriage will come to an end at some point. I would be my life on it. Your spouse comes first. Not your ex, and not your kids. The kids go along with whatever the couple decides. Why are they still pretending to be a happy family THEY MADE THE DECISION TO GET A DIVORCE, then your SO decided to bring a new spouse into that picture, yet he still acts like he is a family with his ex. This is a no brainer for me. I would not be able to live like that.

What are you going to do?

Eff him. Divorce his ass and send him back to BM..its what he wants and he couldnt make it any clearer if he yelled it from the top of mt everest. If he truly loved you and wanted to stay with you, he'd be considerate of hurting you. He would shut that fb shit down fast.

Take your child and move on without him. He is not good for either of you. This douche is an utter cad and a gutless coward. Hes not worth spitting on.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar. I am not saying like the situation or your husbands actions but what you're doing is declaring war in your home.

As you can see from the different opinions from the ladies here, everyone has their own boundaries. We all expect and will accept different things from the people we love.

Only you can decide if this is a deal breaker for you, or if you will end your marriage over this.

Personally, I left my DH for 10 months a few years ago because of no boundaries with BM. He knows if he ever pulled any bull crap like this with me, I would have boxes ready for him to pack his shit when he got home. "It's for the kid(s)" only carries so much weight with me. Laughing it up and playing family with BM would be a deal breaker for me. And the reason it would be a deal breaker in my house is because of all the shit we have dealt with over the last 7yrs because BM is a horrible person and horrible mother to her children. If she was a decent person, my "hill to die on" would be different with regards to BM.

Again, only you can decide that.

As usual, I am on the fence here.

As a SM … I would be crushed to see MY dh, taking a vacation with his ex-wife and their son. I would HATE the “family” pictures. BTDT too, but tried to swallow my distaste for it. (We were not married at the time.)

As a bio parent…I would not miss out on something like that with my child just because my ex was going.

Step family are just not natural.

I just went to universal studios for my daughter's 8th birthday. All four of my kids went. My ex husband and his wife went too. We didn't take one picture together. Not one. I didn't want to and he didn't want to and none of the kids asked us too. We don't fight or argue. We coparent all the time and I think we were both their for our kids without behaving as a married couple cause we are not.

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