I am going to pick your brains...
I am going to pick your brains...If your child was with someone who was emotionally, mentally or physically abusive would you try to convince them to stay away from this person that they thought they loved or would you stay out of it?
- tankh21's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I believe I would try to
I believe I would try to convince them to get out of the relationship but ultimately would have to accept that I can't make that decision for them. If they decide to stay with them I would let them know I would be there for them if they needed help though.
I would determine if there
I would determine if there were grounds for denying visitation...and proceed with the courts... trying to convince your child of how they are can be considered effectively PAS'ing the child...
Actually.. is this in the
Actually.. is this in the vein of PAS and telling your child to stay away from a step parent?
I read it more like if your child was dating an abusive person would you step in.
I assumed it was about a
I assumed it was about a child and their parent.
If it's about your own child, being with an abusive partner, you can state your mind if you absolutely must... but I'd stay out of it, just let them know you're there for them if they ever decide to leave. Like anything else, someone saying something negative about someone you love, will not be well received, even if it's the truth.
This is a hard topic to touch
This is a hard topic to touch on. I am a child of divorce and didn't learn who my mother truly was until I was about 13 years old. It is also hard to sit back and watch someone you car about being abused in any sort of way.
I meant it either way ESMOD.
I meant it either way ESMOD.
If I thought my minor child
If I thought my minor child was being abused by an adult.. or an adult was allowing another child to abuse mine, I would take steps to make sure it didn't happen again. Those steps might include teaching my child to try to not be alone with a person that is victimizing them in private. They could certainly include legal intervention as well.
(I don't mean normal kids roughhousing or minor teasing.. I mean abuse)
I already told you what the situation would be if it was more like a dating or relationship issue. You can't control that much.
Now, if it's just because you don't LIKE the new wife or husband of your EX. You are SOL. keep that stuff to yourself! Just because you don't think things are 'fair' somewhere else or you don't like how a household is run.. keep your mouth shut.
Who is being abused? And by
Who is being abused?
And by whom?
If my bff was being abused of course I would offer resources first AND also tell her to get out.
IF my bff was a man being abused by his female wife OR friend, I would do the same.
why do you ask?
IS it the neighbor? Co-worker?
**We must speak up**
We also must speak up when someone is playing the system too.
It was just talking about in
It was just talking about in general....No one is being abused. I was reading on this topic and thought I would post it on my blog.
I would offer support and an
I would offer support and an open ear. I would be honest with what I saw but never berating.
I remember my first marriage. I reached out to my mom months before the wedding telling her I didn't think I was doing the right thing. I needed to hear that I wasn't crazy. She told me everyone gets cold feet. It wasn't till much later a friend saw an fight between me and my then husband and said everything I thought but couldn't make myself believe. When I told my mom I was getting a divorce she stated "None of us liked him anyways". I was livid.
She told me they were so afraid of me pulling away from them that instead of being honest they just didn't talk about. I went though years feeling invalidated. Sure he never hit me but he was so mentally abusive. He had his own problems too.
After alot of therapy I trust myself more but as a young woman the world tells us we are emotional, over think things, and that love means fighting.
Just be honest an supportive. Don't attempt to force things but just let them know they aren't alone. That they aren't crazy and that they are worthy of REAL love. That love isn't always fighting a screaming. That just because they don't hit you doesn't mean they aren't hurting you.
I just wish someone had validated what I was saying back then.
I second that
I second that Dontfeedthetrolls...Love your screen name BTW.
Thank you.
Thank you.
LOL I hate that elf on a
LOL I hate that elf on a shelf as well but thanks for making me laugh mapitout.
The more you try to pull your
The more you try to pull your child away from an abusive partner, the more they will latch onto them. The best thing you can do is let them know that they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have a place to return to if they choose to leave them, to not worry about dropping everything and coming to you because you will take them in no matter what. That you will come get them no matter where they are in the world, and support them until they get back on their feet.
There are lots of people who try convincing and fighting and arguing with their kid about their abusive partner and it almost never, ever works (unless it's a minor because then you have legal recourse as you are still the guardian).
"Love" is one helluva drug.
If the kid is a minor then
If the kid is a minor then not only should the parent say something they should actively manage and minimize the kid's exposure to the negative influence regardless of who that person may be.
If the kid's are adults.... then the parent has the responsibility of informing the kid of the parents concerns if the parent chooses.
I don't understand this
I don't understand this question. If any child is abused I must report it. I am a mandated report and staying out of it is not an option. Even if I was not a mandated reporter I won't just ignore abuse of a minor