My fil died this morning
Dh called to let me know so I didn't see it on facebook. He said we should stay and enjoy our trip but I feel guilty. I feel like I should be there for him. Any advice?
Ps. We are at Disney waiting in line for a ride.
- crackergirl's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Dh did say to stay I'm just
Dh did say to stay I'm just not sure that is the right thing to do. My dh just lost his dad . Ds has asked me if we should be with him. It's called empthay.
Same! When my husbands mother
Same! When my husbands mother died he was fine while he was getting all the calls made. Soon as he was done calling everyone it really hit him and he just sat there and cried and cried. It was awful
Same! When my husbands mother
Same! When my husbands mother died he was fine while he was getting all the calls made. Soon as he was done calling everyone it really hit him and he just sat there and cried and cried. It was awful
The trip can't be that
The trip can't be that ruined. OP posted on last Thursday that vacation started Friday. Two days at Universal, three days at Disney. This is the following Wednesday.
The trip, if not already ending, is all but over anyway.
How long do funeral
How long do funeral arrangements take in the US?
That's a good idea. I'll make
That's a good idea. I'll make sure he knows he can call me and I'll call him reguarly.
Did i do something to offend
Did i do something to offend you? I'm asking for advice on if staying is bad. I know your thoughts so move on. You are the one ruining my day. Way to kick someone when they are down. Does it make you feel better when you do that?
How many more days do you
How many more days do you have on your vacation?
Till Sunday.
Till Sunday.
Maybe made compromise. You
Maybe made compromise. You stay til Sat morning or Fri night. I just know that I would personally have a hard time staying and enjoying myself. I love my FIL and I know my DH will be very distraught when his dad eventually passes. I would want to be there to take care of him.
My best friend and mom said
My best friend and mom said stay and my sister says I am horrible for not leaving. Ds is talking to the kids in front of us and I am staring at my phone. I figured why not get many thoughts while i stand here waiting.
If it were me I would go to
If it were me I would go to my husband straight away. Times like that are what the worse part are for in the wedding vows. If my husband did not come and support me if a parent died and decided to continue with his vacation with his kid I would take that as a sign as to my importance to him.
I agree. If someone came to
I agree. If someone came to this board and said their parent died and the spouse stayed on vacation with their kids, most would be screaming to leave the jerk.
condolences Cracker... DH is
condolences Cracker...
DH is with his family, his heart ache will not pass quickly, enjoy your trip with BS, return home and then take BS and go to the funeral, maybe if BS has any manners he will give DH a hug and say sorry for your loss and be very nice to the skids, this might make DH soft again, cause now you are a family in this time... and be nice to the skids as well
You know the right thing to
You know the right thing to do, but it is hard. That's why you are here. The right thing is not always the easiest. Talk to Disney, do what you've been advised here. Your son will understand and learn a valuable life lesson that will make him a better person in the long run. Going through a loss of a parent with a spouse is hard. Good luck. Do the right thing.
Here's something. My dad
Here's something.
My dad actually died AT Disney World. My two youngest sisters were with him at the time. He passed away in his sleep after the first day of a 5 day trip.
They didn't finish their vacation, FWIW.
What Lashy said above. Talk to Disney. They refunded the full amount of the vacation, switched my sister's plane flights to that evening so they could get home...all without being asked. Very nice of them. They also sent a bouquet to the funeral.
I know your DH said to stay, but he's probably in shock right now...especially if this was unexpected. It will mean a lot to him if you go home, and it's likely you can reschedule your trip with BS with very few financial consequences.
Disney gave your family a
Disney gave your family a refund because your dad died while he was at their resort. A member of a disney message board I post on lost her husband during their family's trip to WDW. Disney went above and beyond for her and their two kids.
They chances of the OP getting a refund on her unused park tickets(or having them the unused days placed on new tickets to use at a later date)and unused days on her dining plan, are slim to none. The most they may do is refund the remaining hotel nights.
Sadly many people have no shame when it comes to telling a lie that will get them a few bucks back. If the word got out that Disney would give refunds in the case of the death of a family member, refund request would skyrocket.
I'm wondering why the OP didn't add travel insurance when she booked the trip. She knew her FIL was ill. If she had purchased the insurance (Disney's insurance is pretty damn cheap), they would give her a refund.
DH called you because he knew
DH called you because he knew you'd see it on Facebook. If there were no Facebook, would he have called you? If the answer is no, stay.
When my mother was elderly and ill, my brother and I had an agreement. If something happened while one of us was away, the other would contact the funeral home and make the arrangements for after the vacation return. (And not contact the vacationer about the death.)
The funeral will be after your return. You are not part of making the arrangements. DH has said to stay. I vote for stay. You can talk to DH on the phone each night and emotionally support him.
There is no right or wrong thing here. It's a personal decision. In the end you have to do what you think is best.
this is the way i'm leaning
this is the way i'm leaning too.....
Gee, the timing on this is so
Gee, the timing on this is so bizarre. What are the odds?
THIS Who doesn't purchase
THIS
Who doesn't purchase travel insurance when they know that a family member may die at any time?
I'd have to delay the trip.
I'd have to delay the trip. :?
Totally agree... timing is so
Totally agree... timing is so odd.
"And then I'd stick around to
"And then I'd stick around to do a little jig on her grave when nobody was looking!"
I love you for this!! hahaha. Not that I would do it with MIL, but the thought of someone dancing on someones grave is funny to me.
In my situation, I would pack
In my situation, I would pack up the kids immediately and head home to be with my husband. But I would stay my happy butt in Disney if I was in your situation. The longer your child is away from your DH the better.
Your DDH definitely needs
Your DDH definitely needs your presence and your son's presence right now, no matter what he sais!
This is the only real answer to this question, IMHO. Your son can have more vacations in his future, with you, and hopefully with DH as well.
Why does he need his SS
Why does he need his SS there?
Maybe OP's DH would prefer
Maybe OP's DH would prefer that she and her son stay away. What kind of relationship does OP have with the FIL?
The next blow up will be
The next blow up will be about the obituary. The OP's son won't be listed as as one of the grandkids which will result in the next battle.
I would leave to be with my
I would leave to be with my husband, no question. I would be heartbroken if he was not there for me. You are your husband's family.
If I where in your shoes, I
If I where in your shoes, I would be on the next flight out to be with my DH. I've left work and other trips and events for less for DH and He has done the same for me for less as well. These are the times you need your partner more than ever. Even when they say they don't.