Not sure. I was once a 20 year old who loved my bosses but NEVER considered them anything but "old men" that were of no sexual interest to me at all. ZERO interest - would have been repulsed at the thought of anything other than friendship.

But the world is different today. Trust your gut.

Ugh he is either having an affair or he is not. You know him, we don't.

You may say that you do not get jealous, but all of the things that you described and how you described them very much sound like you are jealous.

If it were me I would definitely be annoyed he didn't have any of my homemade cake, that is a serious offense in my book. The other stuff would not bother me, but I know my husband would not have an affair, and if he were I would not want to know about it anyway so I wouldn't go poking my hand into the bees nest and then get upset when I get stung.

You may have other ideas.

These 20-something girls are playing your husband like a finely tuned violin. For most millennials, the end justifies any means. So, they are sucking up to him (and others?) to get what they want. Hopefully it is just a promotion they are looking for ;).

BTW: Years ago something like this happened to a friend of mine, only she was one of the 20-year olds. After word got out about the par-t, she and a couple of others got fired. Nowadays, they'll probably get promoted.

Oof. This is no bueno.

He's their supervisor; he cannot successfully lead without boundaries. Yeah, he may have been blindsided with all of this in way of a "Surprise!" and all, but he needs to put full stop to all this, like yesterday.

I resent the "for most millennials" generalization. I'm a millennial. Most of the millennials I know, which is quite a lot, are not the "suck up to your boss to get promoted and just skate by in life" type. In fact most of the millennials I know bust their rears for very little anything-in return. For SOME PEOPLE-because I've seen office skanks of all ages, shapes and sizes that do exist and are not not predominately one age or another-it's the only thing they've got going for them and looks fade....fast.

Generational generalizations aside, you have every right to feel however it is this situation makes you feel. There is no over-reacting unless you do something that is in fact, an over reaction. You are currently in that terrible-how do I feel about this-limbo.

You could calmly tell DH how this made you feel, you went through all the trouble of making him something special, just for him to barely notice. That's pretty sucky. It's even more sucky when you come across photos of how he reacted to birthday surprises from other people. Particularly other women. On Valentines Day. Tell him that you're hurt and confused by all of this. Tell him what you need from him, reassurance, to know that you and your marriage is still meaningful and fulfilling to him.

See what he says. But don't forget, he married you darlin'. There will always be someone younger. Knowing this he still chose you forever. That means something. You don't just step in marriage, it's a choice. What you need to know is that he is still actively making the same choice he made on your wedding day everyday. Tell him that.

Your DH is an idiot. Pictures on facebook of him embracing young, female subordinates will be great evidence when on of the them doesn't get something she wants and goes to HR with a complaint about sexual harassment.

It doesn't sound to me like he is having an affair - yet. He is an older man delighting in the attention of 2 younger women. It may stay at that stage or he may cross the line.
It doesn't matter if nothing has happened yet - he is doing enough at this point to make you uncomfortable. That is all that counts. It needs to stop.

I would sit him down and calmly explain your concerns. There are two problems here, how the situation is making him feel and how it could negatively effect him at work. Hopefully he will get it once you point it out to him.

This is super inappropriate behavior for a supervisor. Also I am 22 and work with a lot of older men (not as my boss but as clients) and I'm not alone when I say older business men are attractive when you're young. Personally I'm married but theres a certain degree of attractiveness to older business men when you're young. I would put a stop to situations like this.

jojo - I agree with Granny and I will take it one step further...

get yourself a hair appointment and nail appointment, then some fab clothes.... surprise DH at the office and flaunt it in front of the little girls... show them what a real classy woman is like..... not the cheap tramp type they are...

will not hurt if you dress sexy and age appropriate, then close Dh's office door behind you and the blinds on the window... chat with him for a while, share a sandwich and before walking out... fumble with your hair... }:)

those little snot nose girls will be whispering etc... I would casually say - next time before you post photo's of my husband on FB< make sure you have permission, it's against the law to post pictures of people without permission...

Hmmm, I'm looking over the responses and don't see my question answered. Has he ever cheated on you? Did he cheat on former spouses/so's? My advice will depend on the answer to this.

One thing I have noticed with several of the young women just entering the workforce is that they don't understand how to be professional yet.

They don't know how to dress or act.

I work in a more male dominated office... and most of the women dress professionally however there ARE exceptions.

There are "girls" that wear things too tight, low cut, short etc...

I read somewhere that when you are getting dressed for work, look in the mirror. If the first thing that comes to your mind is "I look hot"... CHANGE. It's not a club or a chance to meet a guy, it's work. Dress professionally and you will stand a better chance of being treated professionally.

The other behavior OP described as being flirty and too "fun" is also a pitfall for the younger set. They really just come from a place where most of their interaction is with people their own age in a social setting. Understanding that hugging your boss isn't really appropriate might not occur to them.

I'm not sure they have nefarious intentions here, but as their boss, he can certainly set the tone by not letting things get too over the line. Nothing wrong with lunches, or cake, but physically touching beyond a handshake really isn't appropriate.

I guess we haven't seen the pics so not sure if it was just a "group pose" where people will put their arms around shoulders to scrunch in.. or whether it was a "real hug".

The texts out of working hours would be ok if it were related to something about work. As in, I will be in late tomorrow.

I'm wishy washy on this one. They took pics and video and posted it on FB.. so nothing to hide right? I am all for having fun at work. I've done both... the stuffy, all business work environment and the fun, silly work environment. Fun and silly is far better and far more motivating. When I was in my early 20's I worked for a GM dealership. The general manager was twice my age. Sometimes he'd treat me like his daughter, sometimes he'd treat me like his lust nugget. I really didn't care, I had a job and he was cool and if it was boring day, he would take a bunch of us out for lunch and a drink and we'd play shuffleboard or darts or do stupid shit. Seriously the most fun job I have ever had! Not sure if his wife knew about all of this or not and if she did, I can imagine that she didn't like it. BUT like someone above said, he was just my cool boss. I wasn't looking for a fuck buddy that was twice my age and married with kids at 22 years old!

I would have been hurt, as you were, that he didn't even touch the cake that you made him. And the texting outside of work? NO! Unless they all have some type of job that requires communication outside of business hours? I am actually "friends" with my current supervisor. He is my age, we went to school together, he used to work with DH years ago, he's funny and we can shoot the shit at work and laugh etc. BUT I would NEVER dream of contacting him outside of work!

Your husband needs to learn the first rule of supervision.
You can be friendly with those you supervise, but you are not their friend.

I've seem some craptacular flirting in my work career of 38 years. Even as a young fairly attractive woman, I NEVER was anything but 100% serious about the job. No flirting, brown nosing, nothing. I have worked with suck ups and flirters.

The most recent one is we have this guy who is a bigshot of his dept. Gets to wear this uniform etc. He's married with children and BONE UGLY!! Boy was he flirting to high heavens with the latest addition to the DA's office. A young, attractive attorney, freckles, wavy auburn hair, "go-go" boots as they used to call them and an engagement ring that was the size of a small planet.
Now married to a golf pro.

I thought he was going to do the horizontal mambo with her right there on the conference table. Now MY immediate boss is a HUGE flirt married to a GUBM--he is a stepdaddybigbucks in his own right. His skids are all grown and moved away but he will give "preferential service" to any fairly attractive woman under the age of 50.

I think Jojo's H is being unbelievably juvenile and can't see through the ruse of flattery for preferential treatment. What's next? Will his employees come in late and take scads of time off or do a terrible job just because they are his fav employees?

What these young ladies are doing is absolutely inappropriate and would not fly in most corporate environments. Since this is a family business it sounds like a lot of rules are ignored and as long as the older men's ego are flattered its all good.

I would make myself a presence at DH's work. Show up and take him out for lunch looking fabulous and when you see those two girls say, "You must be the ones texting my husband after work." "Aren't you the girl who gave out a sex toy at the white elephant exchange? Very trashy." "Oh, you're the ones who smashed cake in my husbands face and posted it on Facebook (insert disapproving look)." Place a mirror to their unprofessional behavior. You are his wife, stake your claim and make your presence know. Poor little girls won't know how to react.

Next time you are with your DH and an after work text comes in, be the one to text them back letting them know he's busy with his WIFE.

About 10 years ago exDH had to go to therapy after an injury and he suddenly had a handful of new young female FaceBook friends and random texts checking up on him. I thought it was absolutely unprofessional and wrote a letter to the director (a woman in her 50's) of the center letting them know what was occurring. Magically the texts stopped and those therapist FB friends disappeared. Speak up, expose their behavior.