What is the difference in the options?
DH agrees with everybody. He is going to take sd to dinner tomorrow and find out what she wants. If she wants to stay then she will need to tell her mother herself and dh will talk to bm after. If she wants to move he isn't sure he can stop fighting and let her go. He knew he needed a better plan with court so he is going to call the district and find out if she can finish the school yr at her current school, talk to his parents about decorating a room for sd and leasing part of their house/rooms to show the court he is stable and sd has her own room. He is contacting all her extra curricular activities she has ever been in/teachers she has ever had asking them for a letter stating that dh was front and center (involved) in all her activities and education. He wants to show the court that while he only had 4 over nights he was just as involved as bm was. He kept going back and forth saying he was doing all of this today and then it, it depends on what sd says. What else can he do to show the court he is involved and upfront parent?
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If bm wins he is going to ask
If bm wins he is going to ask the court to let sd live with him until school is out when bm moves. He thinks she will want to leave right away since stepdad is leaving in a few weeks. He is also going to ask that his state retain legal rights for court, can he do that? He is also thinking of filing an appeal after bm leaves, if she does before school is out. Maybe that can stop sd from having to leave? What do you think?
We are hoping bm goes ahead
We are hoping bm goes ahead and moves and the court allows sd to stay with dh to finish the school year. Once bm leaves he can appeal the ruling? Does it work like that? Dh is waiting to hear back from his lawyer.
SO what if it is sneaky and
SO what if it is sneaky and slick? This is his CHILD that bm is trying to take away from him!! He did nothing to deserve to not raise his child. Bm made the decisions to move NOT dh! He actually wants to raise his child and the only reason he can't is because bm married someone in the military. There is a no move clause in their custody agreement and bm is trying to break that!
You said and I quote, It is a
You said and I quote, It is a slick trick to try and get more time while he gets his act together. His act IS together! Sorry if we can't afford 2 households at once, most families can't. Besides not affording 2 households dh is prepared and ready to raise his daughter like he has been since the day she was born.
I know. My emotions are
I know. My emotions are scattered everywhere right now. I'm sorry I lashed out at you. I swear I am never like this! My dh is such a strong man and he is so defeated right now. It hurts my heart.
We knew he might move
We knew he might move sometime but we didn't think bm would take him to court because of the clause in the CO. When bm got married dh mentioned to her that sd wouldn't be moving and she said she knew.
I don't care if bm
I don't care if bm "naturally" wants to move with her dh. When you have a no move clause then you can't take the child. She is choosing to remove the kid from dh. Dh is only choosing to keep his kid here.
Once bm is gone and dh has
Once bm is gone and dh has custody her can take her to different drs without bms interference and force sd to take the allergy meds so they can live at home. Dh isn't homeless, bm is just enabling sd to be a drama queen. When dh has final say things hopefully will be different.
Wow. I'm sorry but forcing a
Wow. I'm sorry but forcing a teenager into treatments they don't want in order to live in a home you knew they weren't medically compatible with from the start is not right.
I'm torn on this. Not this
I'm torn on this. Not this particular situation because it sounds like BM has a more stable environment for SD. I'm referring to the allergy shots. If DD was allergic, she would get the shots. I don't consider it optional unless managed with Allegra, etc. I'm very much about her having control over her body but I consider this a medical issue.
By the way, DH is allergic to everything but dogs. He got the shots for several months and had excellent results. He can now buy me flowers without looking like he is high with a cold. He didn't have a choice since there was NO way I was getting rid of our cats.
I am glad he is taking those
I am glad he is taking those steps but just remember that it's not always easy for kids to reject their parents to their face. She might tell dad what he wants to hear to spare his feelings and then turn around and tell the judge something else (in private). She could also do the same to BM.
That is why he is telling her
That is why he is telling her if she wants to stay then she has to tell her mom. If she really wants to stay she will. Dh hopes it will help him judge what she really wants. She may want to go and I don't think he is ready for that. He kept saying last night he should get the last 4 yrs of her childhood and he had tears in his eyes. It made me hate bm even more!!!
Good point! I will make sure
Good point! I will make sure he tells her that. Plus, she grew up with all these kids here and she may not want to leave them.
You sound like a bm who only
You sound like a bm who only thinks of herself. Saying words like sneaky and you get what you get and don't throw a fit. What is wrong with you? Would you feel that way if your ex tried to move your kids away? I don't think so!!
That shouldn't be used in a
That shouldn't be used in a custody post. I don't believe your back tracking, you stated above he was being slick and trying to buy time to get his act together.
I know that I am being rude
I know that I am being rude to you but you are acting like this is all bms kid and dh should just accept it and be happy. I don't understand that thinking.
I agree with this line of
I agree with this line of thinking. Currently, mom is the custodial parent and even though your DH attended and was active in her activities.. she still spent the majority of the time LIVING with her mom.
I think that they should work visitation out so that the girl comes to see her dad for longer periods of time several times a year. Those visits should take place at the grandparents home due to the allergy issues.
With skype and email and cell phones, there is no reason that your DH can't still be a daily presence in the girl's life.
Military moves are almost
Military moves are almost always granted. Add in the Allergies, BM will win this fight. Your DH needs a back up plan.